According to Ireland’s Daily Mirror, Michael Jackson has been looking into buying an estate on the Emerald Isle, and is supposedly interested in opening up a – wait for it – leprechaun-inspired theme park.
“Michael is deadly serious about this idea,” a source told Ireland’s Daily Mirror. “He loves the whole idea of leprechauns and the magic and myths of Ireland. It would cost around 500 million Euros [about $635 million] to do. He’s always wanted to open his own theme park and he thinks Ireland is the perfect place and it will all be built around the leprechaun theme.” The cash-strapped singer reportedly is meeting with businessmen to raise money for the park. There are regular sightings of the reclusive singer in Ireland, and one newspaper there has set up a Wacko Watch Hotline for readers to phone in sightings.
Because if America won’t accept your insane ideas why not just ship ‘em over to Ireland? There they at least drink enough the idea might work. And here? Well here we just make gross generalizations about other cultures.
This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover | September 21, 2006 at 6:15 am
He’s way too creepy for the States. And first. Bitches.
Italian Stallion | September 21, 2006 at 6:17 am
So no whe’s targeting drunken Irish children, I guess he figures he’ll get lucky…………..
CelebSlam.com | September 21, 2006 at 6:18 am
If it’s anything like Magic Mountain, I’ll totally go
http://www.celebslam.com
Wampoon.com | September 21, 2006 at 6:19 am
charms…
http://www.wampoon.com
dupababy | September 21, 2006 at 6:19 am
well now that you mention it.. put that cracker in a wig and a little green outfit and by damned he is the LUCKY CHARMS MAGICALLY DELICIOUS MAN.. so now we all know what mj was aspiring towards with his years and years of replastification..
KelKel | September 21, 2006 at 6:22 am
No way can he ruin that beautiful country-kick his ass out Ireland
Bioplant | September 21, 2006 at 6:22 am
Thank you for purging my system of boneriffic tendencies directly stemming from pictures of J-Simp’s and Scar-Jo’s very large boobers, by providing a single picture of MJ.
He is so disgusting – as a black man or a white woman – that I will not have an erection for at least 15 minutes or more.
Brain Embolism | September 21, 2006 at 6:23 am
If he builds it, will they come?
P.S. Brand new ‘Earl’ & ‘Office’ tonight.
Angry Ferret Jones | September 21, 2006 at 6:25 am
He’s always been after my lucky charms. Orange Hearts, Green Clovers, Yellow Stars, Blue Moons and Young Children.
You one-gloved, child molesting son of a bitch. I know where you should move to: hell.
Brain – Yeah “they” will come. If by “they” you mean young Irish boys.
Tom Horseonovich Colligan | September 21, 2006 at 6:26 am
I happen to be half Irish, and I can say for certain that Michael Jackson is welcome to gently push a giant leprechaun up my big wide white pockmarked boil enfestered bungpocket. Just thought I would share that with you all. — Horseonovich
popegoestheweasel | September 21, 2006 at 6:28 am
Could be worse he could have gone cuckoo for Coco puffs. (again)
Cruzadas | September 21, 2006 at 6:29 am
Leave Ireland alone, you freak!!
Italian Stallion | September 21, 2006 at 6:33 am
To the people of Ireland:
Tell your young male children to hide their “Blarney stones”
krisdylee | September 21, 2006 at 6:34 am
Dammit Stallion, I was about to make a kissing the Blarney stone reference and you went and fucked it up.
Actually, your comment was better.
Karen Rani | September 21, 2006 at 6:36 am
“one newspaper there has set up a Wacko Watch Hotline for readers to phone in sightings.”
Now THAT is funny.
I wouldn’t be surprised if that “man” turned into a monkey. I mean more so than he already is. “Freak” is such an understatement, I just punched myself in the face for using that in reference to MJ.
Please excuse all the Brit-Twit air-quotes, but in some cases, they simply must be used.
DrDanny | September 21, 2006 at 6:44 am
Are there any Catholics here? What’s the first step in the process required to declare Jackson a saint? Is it death? Is it too early to start the lobbying campaign?
hendero | September 21, 2006 at 6:47 am
He should get the “Where’s me gold”? dude from the Leprechaun movies for the haunted house. Scary.
And Jennifer Aniston, if she’ll agree to have her original nose put back in. Scarier.
jrzmommy | September 21, 2006 at 6:53 am
Again — the infatuation with small people and this guy.
Ireland is like the last country on the earth that doesn’t hate the US — now this sick fuck is gonna ruin it. Yeah, a theme park in Ireland with Leprechauns and Irish lore as it’s theme. The Irish will fucking flock to it. Because, hey, they live in Ireland…..it’s not like they don’t have a zillion little reminders everywhere about IRISH CULTURE AND FOLKLORE IN IRELAND!
Brain Embolism | September 21, 2006 at 6:53 am
Here’s one for you Stallion.
If you put little wings, and a multi stitched balero jacket on him and do his hair up right, he’d be a dead ringer for a flying monkey from the Wizard of Oz.
stonefoxhippie | September 21, 2006 at 6:54 am
He was sodomized in his sleep by evil leprechauns and now can’t get them out of his mind.
katie | September 21, 2006 at 6:56 am
stay out of my homeland you fucking freak! i know the irish and they will not be welcoming to him like they are to others. or they will just make up really funny jokes about him
jrzmommy | September 21, 2006 at 7:04 am
His next big idea is to have a theme park in Atlantic City with the theme being casinos, the beach and the boardwalk, because it’s not like we don’t have the real things right IN Atlantic City. We need a theme park about it for people to experience these things.
I can’t wait til he dies.
JumpingIrish | September 21, 2006 at 7:04 am
I don’t like his idea….Not ONE bit!
86 | September 21, 2006 at 7:06 am
Wait….what happened to Dubai? Whatever. Look, the news must be really slow crossing the pond – he molests children guys! It’s ok to be mean to him. He is not the one gloved wonder anymore, much to all of our disappointment.
Madrid Marriott | September 21, 2006 at 7:23 am
“Oh Danny boy,
my pipe, my pipe, is calling…”
Italian Stallion | September 21, 2006 at 7:33 am
@19 Nice, he look’s like that shit without the costume………..
trailblazer | September 21, 2006 at 7:40 am
jrzmommy: “Ireland is like the last country on the earth that doesn’t hate the US”
Try again! As long as you keep voting in mindless fundamentalist bible-bashing corporate-whoring environment-desstroying warmongering presidents we’ll keep on keeping you at a healthy arm’s length (apart from when you’re spending your tourist dollars here – we love them) and ridiculing your nation at every available opportunity.
Said tourist dollars also mean that MJ’s keerazee plan might not be so crazy after all. Like the rest of the plastic-paddy-where’s-me-shillelagh-oho-me-father-was-one-of-the-little-people industry that panders to Irish American tourist fantasies, that theme park will make a mint. Most sensible thing he will have done in years.
RichPort | September 21, 2006 at 7:48 am
When I was Ireland a few summers ago, I found out 5 things I didn’t know:
1 – The Irish hate fucking constant leprechaun references (especially by Americans), unless they’re making them.
2 – You get screwed like a 10 year old at Neverland on the Euro (monopoly money)/ US (real money) exchange.
3 – A Guiness themed park would make a heck of a lot more sense, but they already have one of those. It’s called, well, Ireland.
4 – There are no fucking ATMs in the village of Rathmullan on the shores of Lough Swilly in North Donegal. You have to travel 30 minutes, driving on the wrong side in a car the size of my trunk, to get your play money.
5 – Herds of sheep can in fact legally be considered traffic.
Please do not threaten cross-Atlantic relations. Allow this alabaster Black man to only molest the youth of Qatar. Thank you.
RichPort | September 21, 2006 at 7:50 am
#28 – I, of course, never actually WAS Ireland. I did visit and still giggle every time I say Gaelic…
Devil Is Chrome | September 21, 2006 at 7:57 am
#28 – cheers to you, brother.
A word of advice to Jacko – stay away from Ireland. They don’t need anymore bad mojo there… Don’t you think the potato famine was enough? The country is getting along amazingly well these days and they don’t want you there.
Besides, if you begin molesting boys in that country, the Irish can
jrzmommy | September 21, 2006 at 7:59 am
27–”You?” Hey, I didn’t vote for him…..neither did most Americans. He won the electoral vote, but not the popular vote, so go ahead and keep on hating the American people for the actions of a very limited few in the political class. Do you hate all the Sudanese because it’s government butchers people? Betcha don’t. But that’s what your fucked up reasoning would require you to do, unless of course it’s a double-standard you hold only Americans to and you think a government-mandated and supported genocide of it’s own people is acceptable. Which is it — do you hate all the people of a nation based on the actions of it’s politicians, or just all Americans and you use the actions of our president to hate an entire nation? Either way you’re an ignorant fuck.
I also love ignorant fucks like yourself who will say shit about Americans but you’ll still take our American dollars. That’s called being a whore and unprincipled.
Your rationale and your blanket statements about my country suck and I think you’re a grade A asshole.
RichPort | September 21, 2006 at 8:02 am
#27 – More Irish visit this cesspool you so loathe than Americans visit your EU financed revival of an island, though I did thoroughly enjoy my stay and plan to return.
And I forgot point #6: All attractive women in Dublin are tourists.
superficiallover | September 21, 2006 at 8:14 am
trailblazer: “As long as you keep voting in mindless fundamentalist bible-bashing corporate-whoring environment-desstroying warmongering presidents we’ll keep on keeping you at a healthy arm’s length”
And there was I thinking for a moment that you were talking about that President of yours Charlie Haughey, God rest his soul…
jrzmommy | September 21, 2006 at 8:20 am
Wacko should team up with Frank McCourt and have a section of the theme park based on Angela’s Ashes….that would be fun for the whole family right there.
UNWASHEDMASSES | September 21, 2006 at 8:23 am
@27 – It’s called Nation Envy and it’s practiced a lot by the jealous eurotrash that post on this site. I won’t even bash your leaders because they are so insignificant I don’t know who they are. America has given the world a fully realized democracy, preserved freedom from tyranny in two world wars, currently is leading the world in a war against a genocidal theology, and whose free market, capitalist system spawned the majority of technological advances over the past 100 years. Mommy’s automobile that drives you around town? You wouldn’t be able to afford it were it not for Henry Ford’s invention of the production line. That tele you get you disinformation from so that you can feed you hatred of all things American? Invented or perfected, just like the light bulb, motion picture camera, telegraph, radio, et al, in America. Those latest techno gadgets? DVD, Blu-Ray, Hi-Def, i-Pod, computer – you know, the shit that makes the world livable and BETTER? All designed and conceived by Americans (the Japs just mass produce the original concepts). The very internet on which you spew your ill-formed opinions – initially funded by the US Department of Defense. So hate on, world. Criticize us and our duly elected leaders. We’ll save your ass yet again when the muslim masses threaten your very existence. What’s France up to? A 20% muslim population? Good luck. In closing, Ireland’s contribution to the world is Guinness and Enya. Keep hating, we’ll ensure you’re free to do so. And on second thought, go Michael! Give those pasty, Lohan-freckled, brogue-owning gingers a real reason to dislike the good, old US.
jrzmommy | September 21, 2006 at 8:26 am
35–”In closing, Ireland’s contribution to the world is Guinness and Enya” And U2….when Bono isn’t under the impression that he’s God.
Nuke L.A. | September 21, 2006 at 8:27 am
Why doesn’t he build a park in Bangkok or the Phillipines where his kind of sicko-pedo-fag shit is acceptable? Maybe he only likes white boy balls, the rascist.
katie | September 21, 2006 at 8:33 am
jrzmommy, go take your valium like good useless housewife and realize thats not what he was saying. he is right, the irish hate this goverment, but the people love americans, msotly bc they all have relatives over here. luckily, most of the americans that visit ireland didnt vote for bush b/c those people are too poor and busy in church and doing other biblethumping activities to go anywhere cool outside their horrendous incestuous southern crap town.
katie | September 21, 2006 at 8:37 am
unwashedmasses-you are thefucking ignorant moron. go lick bush’s ass or whatever the fuck you do with your time.irelands economy is doing alot better then ours, and if you had ANY IDEA whatsoever what you were talking about, you would know democracy was started in europe. but you are obviously such an idiot, why would i expect you to know that?jesus go take a history class and shut the fuck up
commissioner | September 21, 2006 at 8:43 am
I voted for Bush because the alternative was too fucking scary.
Katie, what European nation began as a democracy?
jrzmommy | September 21, 2006 at 8:44 am
38– He uses the words YOU and YOU’RE and Irish AMERICAN…What the fuck do you think he’s saying?
who the fuck else do you think he means? The fucking Tahitians? The good people of Mars? No you dumb cunt……he means the AMERICANS. If you’re going to try to come on all as all balls and insult someone, at least master reading comprehension. You’re a complete moron and you make me sick. I see Ireland has itself yet ANOTHER fucking rocket scientist on its hands in the form of Katie.
katie | September 21, 2006 at 8:46 am
magna carta is considered to be the beginnings of democracy. and of course non started as one bc europe has like, a history and culture which american completely lacks but the concept started there.we refined it, but if any of you people think we actually live in a democracy in american you are sadly fooling yourselfs
jrzmommy | September 21, 2006 at 8:50 am
Katie–why do you keep saying, “We?” Are you American? Or are you another unprincipled whore who comes to America to make money? Either way, why don’t you get the fuck out, bitch…America doesn’t want you.
katie | September 21, 2006 at 8:56 am
I am american you fucking moron. the Irish, and other european countries, often dont need to come here anymore bc, if you noticed, the euro is much more valuable then the dollar. and you can also live in a country, love it, and hate the goverment and who runs it. but clearly, you missed the whole “not everything is black and white” class. perhaps you took the “george bush’s version of patriotism for dummies”. or maybe even your brain has gone to mush because you are too busy changing diapers all day and speaking in babytalk.
RichPort | September 21, 2006 at 8:58 am
I think Katie may be confused. Democracy’s origins are in the butt-plugging days of Greece and Rome, not in 1215. Easy mistake. Don’t worry, I’m happy to give you the ol’ Irish Fuck: that’s where we get drunk, I get you naked, beat the shit out of you, then wack off on your unconcious face. I learned that little trick in Crawford.
UNWASHEDMASSES | September 21, 2006 at 8:58 am
@katie – How I love self-loathing Americans. You’re probably a big Barbra Streisand fan and masturbate to a threesome with Sean Penn and Alec Baldwin. As for Ireland having a better economy than the US – I’m sure you’re correct. It probably isn’t hard to manage such an economy when it is less of an economy than many US states. The states of Texas, California, New York, etc. all have greater economies than the Emerald Isle. Also, it is easy to maintain an economy when your chief exports are beer and music. What is Ireland’s military expenditures? How much does Ireland contribute to fighting world poverty, terrorism, disease, and disaster relief? You are the moron, Katie. Hate to break it to you, but you make it quite obvious. Let me give you a hint, don’t resort to foul language and insults when you are trying to form a cogent argument. It’s what the Left does because their arguments fail to stand up to the light of reason. But go on hating America, it’s your right to do so.
commissioner | September 21, 2006 at 9:00 am
Katie, Katie, Katie. You should run for public office. Perhaps you should try to change the government you abhor so much.
By the way, the United States is a REPUBLIC. Not a democracy.
Madrid Marriott | September 21, 2006 at 9:03 am
“europe has like, a history and culture which american completely lacks”
1. Nice placement of the word “like.” Like, that sentence just would have been nonfunctional without it. Moron.
2. Yes, Europe has a LONGER history and longer-developed culture. But just because the US’s culture is not based on some glorified version of the past, where everything was pretty and ornate and everyone listened to classical music, doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a history and a culture. It doesn’t IN YOUR MIND because you are too shallow to recognize it. Indeed, the US has a short but incredibly complex/amazing history.
jrzmommy | September 21, 2006 at 9:05 am
44–If you’re American then Ireland isn’t your homeland, bimbo. America is. (#21 “stay out of my homeland”)
Don’t tell me–you’re a political science major.
I don’t change diapers and speak babytalk all day anymore, but thanks so much for belittling stay-at-home-moms everywhere. They really appreciate it when high-and mighty cocksuckers –like yourself — demean what they do. With chicks like you, women don’t need mysoginist males.
Do yourself a favor skumbag and shut up….you’re making a jackass out of yourself.
Hopeless_Screenwriter | September 21, 2006 at 9:06 am
I just want to step in here to say, when you’re done reading this rhetoric, stop by my site “Cock-Ninjas Land O’Fun and Fat Buttered Women”.
http://www.cock-ninja.blogspot.com/
You won’t be disappointed.