Michael Jackson dies at 50

June 25th, 2009 // 535 Comments

Making the “Rule of Three” obscenely poignant, Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, has just died of cardiac arrest, according to TMZ. He was 50 years old and is survived by three children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince “Blanket” Michael Jackson II.

My apologies to his family for my previous joke, and a lifelong thanks to Michael for bringing us Thriller, and my personal favorite, Moonwalker. (Both the movie and Sega Genesis game.)

Rest in Peace.

UPDATE: The LA Times has confirmed Michael Jackson’s death subsequently crashing their server from the onslaught of traffic. The man’s still a draw, folks.

Photo: Getty
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  1. It will take another four to six weeks to know Michael Jackson’s cause of death? I can’t wait that long! :(

  2. mike

    David caradine, Ed McMahan, Farah Fawcet, and Michael Jackson makes 4

  3. Ruth

    I’ll miss you Michael, I know you had more to give, or maybe people just kinda needed you too. You were a true pioneer,inspiration and artist. The music world is less authentic in lieu of your absence, we’ve lost perhaps its greatest treasure. Thank you for staying true to your love of good music and keeping it pure artistry and entertainment fot the decades you gave your genius to the world. So many people will keep your beautiful spirit alive in their hearts. Love you.

  4. At Fan

    What loser’s you guys are……hatefull FUCKd, I bet you are all sinners. They accquitted him of all charges. So get the facts straight.

  5. At Fan

    You all sound like insecure losers……hatefull FUCKers, I bet you are all sinners. They accquitted him of all charges. So get the facts straight.

  6. Lisa

    You all sound like insecure losers……Hateful FUCKers….. They accquitted him of all charges.. He was extremely gifted, give him credit. You are all going to HELL

  7. CeCe

    It was asked, why would he pay them if he wasn’t guilty? BECAUSE he thinks it’s normal to sleep in the same bed as little boys, because he’s eccentric and emotionally unstable. Do you think a jury is going to ignore his comments and traits? Having fucked up parents is not an excuse, but his dad was a piece of work.

    @496, your comment is extremely insightful and I don’t think it can be said better. I hope he didn’t molest those boys as well.

  8. ort318

    WOW To all does disrespectful retards who say they are glad he’s dead. Can you be any more immature?; I don’t think it’s possible. R.I.P Michael ALMOST everyone loves you there’s a few assholes out there who need to get their facts straight though. What did you personally see Michael molesting these children w. your own eyes? Or did u see videos and pictures… HMMM Didn’t think so! Fucking retards, at least this man had one of the biggest hearts and loved all of his fans! So how about you guys try and get a heart and stop believing every little rumor, you here you fucking litlte immature gullible fucks.
    We love you<3

  9. DiMi

    Why are people on this site so sick, twisted and stupid?
    Why can’t you manage to conceive of more than one perspective at a time.

    Yes, he had inappropriate interactions with children. We don’t know the degree, but we know that he was a mentally ill man and an addict and much of his behavior was unacceptable.

    AND

    He was ALSO a brilliant artist – a great singer, dancer, writer, entertainer who completely transformed the sound of popular music in EVERY genre and helped define the art of the music video.

    Both things are true, we can mourn him AND we can question his behavior and take all forms of abuse seriously.

    The problem with the people calling him a child molester is that they don’t have any compassion for the children. They just talk about how MJ should burn in hell. Why are they so callous towards MJ AND children?

  10. Inbred Retards

    # 51 said: “I’m glad he’s dead too..because NOW he won’t have to be subjected to stupid people (white I’m sure) who seem to love spewing THEIR idiot opinions”

    Couldn’t have said that better. Nothing could be worse than being born a bunch of soulless zombies whose dominant trait is cowardly hatred.

  11. Redneck Larry

    He was a great artist and had brilliant music.

    But the best child molester is a dead one…..RIP

  12. yeah

    he didnt died

    he’s is wall mart cause he heard that boy’s unddies were half off

  13. Blue

    #509

    “He was ALSO a brilliant artist – a great singer, dancer, writer, entertainer who completely transformed the sound of popular music in EVERY genre and helped define the art of the music video.”

    fuck you, if MJ have never been borned i would still listen to the same miles davies dizzy gillespie and john coltrane albums and get the chills
    MJ is a freak, an “entertainer” yeah
    but in america you get “entertained” by any stupidity like keeping up with the kardashians or the life of the osbourns family, you consider great “artists” people such as oprah (???)
    so come on, i get that you listen to thriller and so find the video to be very cool, when you were 12 or something but stop it already with THE GUY IS A GENIUOS crap. a genious is dylan thomas not this clown, get serious

  14. Ioa

    Hey, how about a little respect here? A man just died. A great artist at that. I don’t care what you bunch think you know he did, but didn’t your mother teach you it’s not cool to talk ill of the dead? How would you like it if your father/brother/son died one day and some asshole decided to start ranting about how glad he is that he died and how he wants him to burn in hell? I won’t even begin this useless talk about wether or not he was a child molester, point remains at least have the courtesy to respect those of us who liked his work and mourn his passing as an artist. R.I.P. Michael!

  15. missywissy

    I’m sorry but, it sucks that each day I turn on my computer I have to see a child molestor’s face and people going on about what a great loss. Michael Jackson died a long time ago The only thing left of him was a walking, bleached corpse.

    I say God bless Martin Brashir for doing the right thing. He could have just left everything at a high-profile interview and gotten many more from other famous celebs, but he’s the one who blew the whistle on the happenings at Neverland and probably save a bunch of other innocent boys from trauma. The jury found him innocent, but there are many interviews with members of the jury saying they wished they would have convicted him, that they only found him innocent because they got caught up in the MJ hysteria.

    Has anyone ever noticed McCauly Culkin strayed from the Hollywood scene and weirded out ever since he was hanging out with MJ?

    I know one shouldn’t talk shit about dead people, but everytime I heard something about MJ in the news I just wondered if he was still molesting young boys. That’s the only relieving part of this situation. I know I enjoyed his music and entertaining when I was growing up, but as soon as I read the first accuser’s deposition, I threw away anything I had relating to MJ. He disgusted me. For all of you who say he wasn’t guilty go to the Smoking Gun website and look all this up. It’s stuff that I just don’t think a child could make up. Watch the Brashir interview and tell me the interaction between MJ and his little boy friend is not upsetting.

  16. NotNineteenForever

    RIP to an amazing man.

    just to set some things straight..
    the first family accepted a pay off, what kind of parents would accept money if he was molesting them.
    maculay culkin told of how he was NEVER molested by michael.
    the other family is a notorious money grabbing family who sue anyone they
    think they can.
    has anyone actually got evidence proving him guilty??
    he was found NOT guilty..
    And as for sharing a bed, not so many years ago EVERYONE shared beds, doesnt necessarily mean anything is going on.
    He never had a childhood which would explain why he was child-like.

    and think of his kids and family before writing all these horrible things about him when there is no evidence what-so-ever proving him to be a paedophile.

    and everyone who wishes anyone dead should be ashamed.

    all my thoughts to friends, families and fans. xo

  17. joach

    ^ is right. what i saw was a boy-man (as Mccartney put it) that was robbed of his childhood. blame his greedy father, not him. hope The King of Pop finally has the peace that he longed for. bless.

  18. Jeanette

    oh my god.. i can’t believe this.. i mean, i’ve known for quite som time now, but still… been staring at my screen for, like, about 10 hours now, youtubing michael jackson. a true legend.. may he rest in peace… god bless him..

  19. Thats some bullshit

    Child molester or not, this guy shit talent and this video just proves it.

  20. JB

    I’m not happy he’s dead, but I am disgusted by people treating him like a hero.

    Anyone with a normal moral compass and healthy priorities knows this: People who fight in our armed forces are heroes. People who have the courage, risk-taking, tenacity, and work ethic to start businesses which create jobs, are heroes. People who rescue abandoned or abused animals are heroes. People who adopt children are heroes. People who conduct research into vaccines, or whose medical inventions save or improve or prolong lives — they’re heroes in a way.

    People who are talented athletes, singers, dancers, or actors do NOT thereby becomes “heroes”

    Let’s be honest. Most blacks are going to glorify the man because he was black. They’re willing to overlook the compelling evidence that he sexually abused innocent little children. Their racial pride — or racism, if you will — is more important than the ruined lives and trauma of Jackson’s apparent victims. If Jackson were euopean-American or asian-American, he would have been vilified universally, and probably prosecuted and convicted.

    The media, which has an unhealthy obsession with both race and celebrity, will glorify him because it’s profitable and fits their worship of all persons and things African.

    In the end, he was nothing more than a talented man who committed acts of great evil. He won a bizarre and undeserved degree of admiration.

    Our time and efforts are wasted worshipping this man and insisting his life was somehow more meaningful than any of our lives. It wasn’t.

  21. McDonald

    There are two kinds of people in this world: Michael Jackson fans and losers. RIP King.

  22. Prettybaby

    Look People…

    READ the details of the molestation trial. No matter if the Mother was a scammer…MJ molested that kid PERIOD. The kid could describe IN DETAIL his genitalia and DID YOU WATCH THAT INTERVIEW????. And lest you all forget, there was another kid that was paid off too. He got away with it. I’m not judging or condemning, but these are FACTS. Remember OJ was found innocent too and there ain’t a person alive who doesn’t believe he knifed his wife and that other guy. Come on… quit living in a dream world. I like some of this tunes but he was no hero and PLEASE STOP WORSHIPPING HIM. Good God!!

  23. Wanna Learn

    I for one am very glad he’s dead. If he had touched one of my kids I would have gladly killed the faggot pedophile myself.

    Rot in hell you piece of shit.

  24. Cyndy

    Yes, that sega genesis game was the best! Especially the magic moonwalk hat that killed all the mobsters. RIP, MJ.

  25. Frank

    523: Let the man rest in peace; there’s no definitive evidence that he ever was a pedophile. Keep your hateful rhetoric to yourself and get a therapist.

  26. LOL

    #520 JB

    You angry, insecure, spineless white guys are funny as hell. Spazzing out and waxing off on gossip web sites. Quite writing corny essays and get a life and a therapist.

    Fvcking jealous genetically short changed haters.

  27. Johnny Bravo

    ALL OF YOU HATERS CAN GO ROT IN HELL !!!!!!!
    you don’t have any proof of shit…MJ’s brain was screwed up..he never had a childhood…all he ever wanted to be was a kid and hanging around little kids was his way of doing that..how do you know he wasn’t nice to those kids…he gave them the bed while he slept on the floor..how do you know these kid’s parents weren’t the enemies..people will do ANYTHING for money and publicity these days..grow the fuck up dude and find somethin better to do that judge a dead man

  28. Johnny Bravo

    ALL OF YOU HATERS CAN GO ROT IN HELL !!!!!!!
    you don’t have any proof of shit…MJ’s brain was screwed up..he never had a childhood…all he ever wanted to be was a kid and hanging around little kids was his way of doing that..how do you know he wasn’t nice to those kids…he gave them the bed while he slept on the floor..how do you know these kid’s parents weren’t the enemies..people will do ANYTHING for money and publicity these days..GROW THE FUCK UP PEOPLE AND FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO THAN JUDGE A DEAD MAN !!!!!!!

  29. Johnny Bravo

    ALL OF YOU HATERS CAN GO ROT IN HELL !!!!!!!
    you don’t have any proof of shit…MJ’s brain was screwed up..he never had a childhood…all he ever wanted to be was a kid and hanging around little kids was his way of doing that..how do you know he wasn’t nice to those kids…he gave them the bed while he slept on the floor..how do you know these kid’s parents weren’t the enemies..people will do ANYTHING for money and publicity these days..GROW THE FUCK UP PEOPLE AND FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO THAN JUDGE A DEAD MAN !!!!!!!

  30. Mommy mother

    Please dont say anything worst after his dead, just we pray the best for him, sooner or later we will be like him, laying down alone, let him go with all the peace…….., not to hate him………, nobody’s perfect……, lets remember his good things….., may god bless and keep u always, rest In peace Michael u will always in our heart…., there are still many people who love u………bye…… my king of pop……

  31. probation officer

    for everybody who wants to make his own opinion about michael check this

    http://web.archive.org/web/20041018171341/atgbook.net/jordie.html

    it seems to me as a true confession and convinced me how he could manipulate. I don’t believe he did it only with one child

  32. probation officer

    for everybody who wants to make his own opinion about michael check this

    http://web.archive.org/web/20041018171341/atgbook.net/jordie.html

    it seems to me as a true confession and convinced me how he could manipulate. I don’t believe he did it only with one child

  33. i lovw MJ a lot ilove him more than my life if he say me 2 die i promise i will die or any one say me 2 die 4 him i will die.i wish i could hug him ones or see
    him in my reallife.that my bad luck.MICHAEL JACKSON ROCK!HE IE NOT DEAD HE IS ALWAYS IN MY HEART.

  34. christina

    he’s dead hurrah! now let’s hope more losers died. even his ex wives were unhapy! lisa marie presely said he was manipulative! he wanted sex with a prosttitute because no one liked him! die you ugly monkey!

  35. christina parada

    he was into himself- that’s why he never had a lasting relationship- and he’s ugly! news proves i’m right he had most of us fooled- not me- and thats’s why we hate him so much.

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