Michael Jackson dies at 50

Making the “Rule of Three” obscenely poignant, Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, has just died of cardiac arrest, according to TMZ. He was 50 years old and is survived by three children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince “Blanket” Michael Jackson II.

My apologies to his family for my previous joke, and a lifelong thanks to Michael for bringing us Thriller, and my personal favorite, Moonwalker. (Both the movie and Sega Genesis game.)

Rest in Peace.

UPDATE: The LA Times has confirmed Michael Jackson’s death subsequently crashing their server from the onslaught of traffic. The man’s still a draw, folks.

Photo: Getty