Michael Jackson’s brain erroneously valued at $350,000

November 18th, 2008 // 37 Comments

Apparently, it requires a highly trained expert to figure out what the fuck is going on inside Michael Jackson’s head. Shocker! The NY Daily News reports:

A sheikh subsidizing Michael Jackson spent almost $350,000 on a brain-power guru to help the singer’s creative juices flow.
“Mind-mapping and motivational guru” Tony Buzan came to Bahrain for a week at the singer’s request, said Bankim Thanki, lawyer for Sheikh Abdulla bin Hamad al-Khalifa, who is suing Jackson for $7 million in a breach-of-contract case here.
Buzan “did not come cheap,” he noted in court today: Buzan charged $37,000 a session for a total of $343,000.
“Who paid for that? Yes, Sheikh Abdulla,” said Thanki.
The 33-year-old sheikh – son of the king of Bahrain – alleges that Jackson took millions in advances from him but failed to deliver on contractually agreed projects, including an album, a “frankly personal” autobiography and a musical.

$350,000 sounds like a bargain, because Michael Jackson’s brain has to be a pretty dangerous neighborhood to go strolling around in. Sure, at first it probably seems like a nice enough place, filled with cute little pop tunes. Then you wander into the section where the two Coreys are waltzing with each other in Jesus juice-stained nighties, and Bubbles the Chimp is trying to lure that kid from Jerry Maguire into the back of a van. It’s probably safer to sell pork rinds door-to-door in downtown Kabul.

Photos: WENN

  1. Satanela


  2. YAY


  3. Satanela

    First !!!!

  4. starship

    TCLTC Never forget ;)

    and I suspect that MJLTC too

  5. Rizzles

    What a kiddie toucher…

  6. Rizzles

    What a kiddie toucher…

  7. Rizzles

    What a kiddie toucher…

  8. Vas Deferens

    What is it with Michael always doing some crazy shit?

  9. I heard that he appeared on a millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^ ^^^^with a personal account there. Maybe you have the chance to talk to him online or meet some celebrities there. It is amazing.

  10. Beastman AIDS

    My coworker saw me on this site and told me i’d “really love Perez Hilton – he’s got, like, your sense of humour!”. So i checked it out just before.

    So whats the best way to get coworker blood out of a shirt?

    To the post though – if i lived in an area of the world with an abundance of rich stupid people i’d become a ‘tit staring and squeezing motivational guru” and I wouldn’t come cheap.

  11. Ted from LA

    He should have hired Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr. Now there is a man with a brain or two.

  12. Styxchix

    God he’s a walking freak show! And ugh to the whiskers/five o’clock shadow coming through all his makeup………

  13. For fuck’s sake Fish-guy!

    A pedophile with a mid-life crisis? Really? You think we prefer Jacko, instead of say, Giselle Bundchen, or Jessica Alba, or perhaps Jennifer Connelly, … You suck dude, and on a Monday, no less.

  14. How the he.. can his brain be valued more than $1? I mean the brain is what he is missing. If he had one he would be rich and look normal. True he have had a rough childhood but i dont think he can blame that alone.

  15. Fuck me, it’s *Tuesday*, so I guess everthing’s O.K. then, …

  16. Kahlee

    @15 hehehehe

  17. Jake

    Leave him alone! Who the hell trusts a Sheikh by the name of Abdulla bin Hamad al-Khalifa. Fat bold fuck at 33 wanted to kick it with MJ and now is crying like a bitch cause they are not “buddies” anymore.

  18. EuroNeckPain

    It is surprising that his facial hair is actually growing at the right place. Maybe the beard is a bit too low. But I’d expect it to be much worse.

  19. friendlyfires

    Personal friend of the sheik. I warned him.
    “But, he’s Michael Jackson!”
    “What do you mean, yefendi, “Exactly!”?”
    “I mean he’s not to be trusted. He’ll spend your money, make lotsa’ promises and leave you high and dry.”
    “He would never do that, he’s Michael Jackson!”
    “He would soooooo do that. He ‘s Michael Jackson …!”
    So, now he won’t talk to me. One because I disagreed with him, two because I was right, three, I didn’t warn him aggressively enough, four, because I did warn him aggressively enough but I didn’t give him proper reverence, five, I disrespected him, six, I slept with his sister or cousin or wife, I slept with somebody that pissed him off enough to stop talking to me and keep FedExing me camel testicles every week, even after 9/11. Can’t be bury the scimitar and get along, yefendis?

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  21. Tanya

    I heard the news earlier at _____tallloving.com____, where the hot affluent singles and sexy girls and models to hook up for Tall Love, Flirt and Sexy Dating!

  22. His nose fell off again, folks?

    Stop bashing him. He’s a way better person than any of you nerds will ever be. The world is awaiting a great comeback from him where he will put every other musician on earth to shame, in awe of his overwordly talent.

    A living legend is what he is

  24. Vince Lombardi

    Mike? Yeah, Vince here. Booger check, dude. What?!? Ohhhh, sorry. Yeah, *hehe* thought that flaky shit was coming from INSIDE. I hope you got a refund from that surgeon.

  25. Anonymous

    Hey Marius…….you’re insane. Completely. Seek help.

    That being said…..this pedophile freak is now claiming that he can’t travel to testify in a court case against him. Not only is this pedophile freakshow a useless piece of shit and a liar, he’s the biggest pussy in the world. This scumbag will try every trick in the book to keep from being held accountable.

  26. nastyjay

    23 = neverland child

  27. AteIsEnough

    FREAK of nature. How is he whiter than I am? Really, the reason he’s always sick is…you can’t guzzle or soak in bleach and not get sick! Why does this person even get press anymore? It’s time for him to be on “Where are they now?”, and then disappear. Lock the crazy fricker up in an asylum or something. He’s obviously a luny, warped, pedophilic, dishonest, has-been head-case…and needs some real quiet “me” time.

  28. Is it me, or is he a little funny looking these days?

  29. The Populist

    Is he smelling his finger or adjusting his clip on nose?

  30. JaniBalto

    Ewww! Smelling his fingers.

    I don’t even want to imagine what might be on them.

    Oh, no … too late. :-(

  31. bootlips

    Never do business with a nigger. You could treat them like royalty and they’d still steal the teeth out of your mouth. It’s the reason why every business run by coons fail miserably. We spend trillions of dollars helping the monkeys start a business and they end up pissing the money away.

  32. NY Ted

    Fuck…someone…anyone…put this guy out of his misery….AND OURS!

  33. Beastman AIDS

    I just noticed his fingernails.
    My god have mercy on us all…

  34. Those fingernails have been where no real man dares to travel, up the butts of numerous pre-teen boys.


  35. MJ_4_LIFE

    Y’all maaf*ckas talking TOO MUCH SH*T about MJ..

    Y’all keep talking that he was a pedophile and sh*t…


    The f*cking “abused kids” ADMITED that MJ is INNOCENT !

  36. Max

    so what every happened to Michael Jackson’s brain after they took it out?

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