Michael and Dina Lohan: ‘Lindsay’s drug-free’

June 4th, 2010 // 33 Comments

Just hearing the following words come out these pathological liars’ mouths makes me immediately assume Lindsay is snorting the entire country of Colombia through the world’s biggest twenty. Via People:

“She’s fine, she’s good,” her mother, Dina, told PEOPLE Thursday about her daughter, who is currently wearing a court-ordered alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet.
“I am happy for her,” said her father Michael Lohan, who met with his ex-wife in a New York Family Court to resolve child support issues on Thursday.
“She’s on the straight an narrow,” added Michael, who previously demanded that his daughter go to rehab. “I hope it continues.”

In Lindsay’s defense, she did pass two drug tests – but with an allowance for painkillers because she suddenly had to have her wisdom teeth removed after being court-ordered to take random tests. And if that wasn’t shifty enough, she’s now trying to hitch her star to Kim Kardashian’s ass-wagon – using Twitter:

@KimKardashian let’s go to their next game!?!

I know I’m supposed to have a sexually stoic demeanor with this job, but I finally feel sorry for Lindsay Lohan. Tweeting Kim Kardashian to hang out? Jesus Christ. I almost want to bring Lindsay a plate of milk and cookies and tell her I think she’s special. Kim Kardashian? Fuck me…

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Deacon Jones

    Fish,
    These are so really good posts today. You’re killing it.

    (rolls over, goes to sleep)

  2. Hew sober window is open. Better get her some good scripts before it all goes to hell in a hand basket us usual. I give it a couple of days, before she denies that the line of coke on the coffee table was not hers.

  3. snarkyscreenname

    LILO!! Lighten your motherfucking eyebrows when you bleach your hair….maybe you can then at least LOOK like you aren’t the trailer trash coke whore that you are!

    Next up in LiLo’s fashion choices: bleached and holy AC/DC shirt and a hairsprayed back ponytail to compliment her farmer’s tan(sunburn). And maybe a marlboro red back in her back pocket…or a chain wallet.

  4. Tek

    LOL @ her mouth in the first pic.

  5. Beeotch

    Ha Ha, Linds is sober, yet there is a beer in pic 7…….coincidence????

  6. its me fuckers

    I’d like to know what went down in that courtroom to get Michael Lohan to shut his mouth like this. Yesterday when they got out of court, on TMZ, he said he agreed with everything that Dina said.

  7. its me fuckers

    I’d also like to know if she really thinks that by dressing and looking like Samantha R. she thinks she is going to win her back….

  8. Champ

    Trying to gravytrain free tix from the professional gravytrain sisters is awesome.

  9. DarkSock's ManGravy

    You know, this could all have been prevented if Buffalo Beast would have spoke up when he had the chance. Instead, he silently stood by while I peed in a horse once.

    Just once, mind you.

  10. Vince Lombardi

    And I’m really a dead Italian football coach.

  11. Gweb

    The fucking balls on these fucking people. Ya gotta hand it to them. What a bunch of fucktards.

  12. YO SUPERFICIAL. I LOVE YOU. BUT YOUR GINORMOUS POP UP ADS ARE GETTING OUT OF CONTROL.

  13. OJ's Mom

    So is Keith Richards. And Snoop Dogg. They will both vouch for her.

  14. Chris

    LILO’s clean, and I banged Mrs. Claus last night. Both things that exist only in imagination…

  15. Fish Dude. I know you are making money off of the ads companies run on this sight, but I can’t take any more of the fat fuck and dumb ass Russel Brand big mouth every time I come to this web site. Let me know when you have something different and I will be back..

  16. [scratches head]

    I know I’m a bit slow, but WTF does sexual stoicism have to do with pitying Blohan?

  17. Andie

    The sick-skinny body and the puffy face make me think she’s bulimic.

  18. herbiefrog

    heyyyyy b a b e . . . : )

    get a round ? beach bys ?

    s’done

  19. I really can’t believe if it is a coke or drugs. she is not going to do that. I heard that now she is totally drug free which good for her.

  20. captain america

    but still as SICK as hell, folks!!

  21. She is looking very gorgeous. Would that I were over there to meet her face to face.

  22. nice still babay :)

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  26. She is cute!

  27. She is very beautiful

  28. Zoe

    I don’t trust either one of them. They’re not capable of taking care of Lindsay Lohan.
    celeb-central.com/celebrity/sevinnyne6126

  29. So wonderful a article is! great post, i have save it. thanks.

  30. So wonderful a article is! great post, i have save it. thanks.

  31. Actually it is not our business to always mind them!Let them live thier own lives!all i can say is Lindsay is Beautiful!

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  33. LiLo is not happening anymore!

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