Did A Dominatrix Pee On Michael Phelps? A Clickbait Report

So remember earlier when I said the media is a sewer? Get your boots on. We’re going turding.

Most people know better than to believe the National Enquirer. Then again, most people also love stories were Olympic athletes engaged to a former Miss California are peed on by an overweight dominatrix after paying her $900. It’s in our blood. So here’s the time Michael Phelps allegedly did all that and with a string tied around his dick because gold medalists don’t believe in half measures.

“When he said drink some water before I get to the hotel, I knew what I was in for,” the fetish instructor dished to The ENQUIRER in the ultimate kiss-and-tell interview.
“I was going to go to the bathroom anyway – I figured I might as well get paid for it!”

Eroticism and capitalism? No wonder this story’s captured America’s heart:

“He was definitely impressed with his body and showing off,” said Kim – adding that the pair smoked marijuana before Michael dropped his gym shorts.
To Kim’s surprise, though, Michael wasn’t wearing boxers or briefs – but had on skimpy women’s underwear!
Michael then got in position for a very different kind of water sport.
As Kim explained to The ENQUIRER: “I got above him [on the bed] to do the ‘golden shower’ ” – referring to the sexual fetish where one person urinates on another.
“After I was done, he asked if it was okay to [pleasure himself],” she said. “Of course, I’m going to bend the rules a little for a famous Olympian, so he pulled down his panties.”
But Kim was in for another surprise: Michael had a string tied around his private parts!
“I grabbed [the string] and pulled, and I also took out my breasts because he wanted to see them,” she said.

When reached for comment, Michael Phelps’ fiance Nicole Johnson responded, “Did the pee wash away all of his money? Then we’re good here. Now, move, you’re blocking the Gatorade. Mikey likes his mommy full, and why did I just say that out loud? Goddammit.”

Photo: Getty