Michael Lohan: Rehab Consultant.
No, Really.

December 9th, 2010 // 38 Comments

As if Hollywood rehabs weren’t a big enough punchline to baby strollers getting run over by moving vehicles, Michael Lohan has been hired as a “rehab consultant,” according to TMZ:

He’s teaming up with a company called “Recovery Hub” in L.A. — an agency that specializes in matching up recovering addicts with a rehab center that best meets their individual needs.
No word on his specific duties — but we’re told MiLo got the job a few days ago, and his start date is already set … for next Monday.

Call me old-fashioned, but you know what should bar someone from working in rehabilitation industry? Creating Lindsay Lohan with your sperm. I mean, Jesus, I’ve seen junkies selling their own children on the black market with more credibility than Michael Lohan. “Giving you $50 right now will cure my Vicodin addiction? Well, you’re not a Lohan, so I don’t see how that can’t be true. Do you accept Visa?”

Photos: INFdaily


  1. adrienne

    i maxed out my credit card today because this is actually the first sign of the impending apocalypse….

  2. nonminti

    that would funny if wasn’t…sad.Or maybe he wants to be near Lindsay all the time :(

  3. Michael Lohan Kate Major
    Peter Pantsless
    Commented on this photo:

    That chick is about a half hour away from being photographed while sleeping naked.

  4. omg, who in the hell can HE give consultation to? he needs to be over there with his coke headed daughter..

  5. fester

    I see Michael is demonstrating fiscal responsibility by settling for a $20 hooker. You go, Michael!

  6. does anybody in this family knows how to use self tanner?

    • fester

      It appears to me that they have mastered the fine art of tanning.
      1. eat Cheetos
      2. wipe hands on exposed skin

  7. Titty Caca

    Is that chick wearing a hospital bracelet?

  8. Mortimer Duke

    What a lovely specimen standing next to him.

  9. Deacon Jones

    Maybe he should fall OFF the wagon and start pounding booze, that’s the only way I see him getting it up for Ms. Flesh-colored Wax Face.

  10. Pat C

    Missed the point a little – it’s not the “creating Lindsay Lohan with his sperm” that was the problem. Had she then been adopted by normal people she probably would have grown up OK. It’s because he helped raise Lindsay Lohan that he created the mess we see today.

  11. rough offender

    Lucky addicts. They get two for the price of one. Isn’t PDC a “minister” also?

  12. Michael Lohan Kate Major
    Commented on this photo:

    someone’s been beaten with the ugly stick

  13. Freedumb ain't free

    Sad that none of you can recognize Kate Major.

  14. hahahahahaha … Maybe he’s just ‘hiccup’ helping the walking the drunk ‘hiccup’ brain fried bimbo to the ‘hiccup’ counselling session in his hotel room?

    Faaaack this guy. Unbelievable that someone, anyone, would hire this idiot!!! Even drug dealers are too smart to do that!!!

  15. Was Gary Busey unavailable?

    • hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

      Charlie Sheen would have done it but he’s got a TV show still … and his nights are too busy snorting coke and beating up Porn Star Hookers …

  16. DarthSith

    Is he going out with the retarded girl from Gummo now?

  17. jojo

    I started mainlining heroin into my penis the minute i heard this news. This douchesack is going to make drug addicts of us all.

  18. Randal

    From the looks of this pic, Romeo has found his Juliet. Two First Class tickets please. One for MiLo, and the other for his beautiful new lady love. Destination? Sexy Town.


  19. crazytux

    Am I the pathetic FIRST? Or perhaps just out firsted and pathetic.

  20. ispeakthetruth

    These are two of the butt ugliest people on earth.

  21. Jinxy

    Note to self, don’t call recovery hub for any reason.Ever. Kate is a still active drunk, and douchedad is still an active women beating, dry drunk who should not be allowed by law to interact with people attempting to get help for their addictions. Fiery car wreck for two please.

  22. wim

    he is a PORN PRODUCER for the poor & tramps of america!!

  23. Dread

    Yeah, he’ll last a long time in that job. Right up until the point that his employers realize that the only reason he’s getting consulted is from addicts trying to find out where Lindsay scored HER drugs.

  24. Michael Lohan Kate Major
    Ish KaBibble
    Commented on this photo:

    Some guys have all the luck!

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