Lindsay Lohan’s Dad Threatens To Sue Her Mom If She Keeps Saying He Raped Her

January 9th, 2013 // 35 Comments
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Seen here still in London even though she had a court hearing on Monday that they would’ve thrown her ass in jail for not showing up to, but it was delayed that morning which she had no way of knowing would happen, Lindsay Lohan‘s dad Michael apparently isn’t a big fan of her mom Dina telling the media that he raped her. Which is odd for a man who will use any and everybody to shove his face into the press. Seriously, he should be thanking himself for being a coked-up ex-con rapist. Just look at all this Internet ink. TMZ reports:

Michael Lohan is threatening ex-wife Dina Lohan — either stop accusing him of rape, or face his legal wrath.
Michael’s attorney just sent a cease-and-desist letter to Dina — following a recent interview in which Dina claimed Michael raped her during a coke binge in 1990.
In the letter, Michael’s attorney calls Dina’s allegations “false, defamatory, and unlawful.”

Yes, please, let Michael Lohan sue Dina in court. There’s nothing I’d love to see more than this vagina-kicking clown try to plead his case by channeling the rape-baby of Andrew Dice Clay and Vin Diesel‘s character in Find Me Guilty (Tell me I’m not the only person who saw that movie.): “Yer honah, how cud it possibly be rape when I specifically remember dat bird subpeen-o-in’ my balls like day was a reprieve from da guvanah? And if dat’s not enuff, which it should be, my attorney over here tells me dat Title IV Section C of Long Island zoning regulations specifically states youse allowed one rape for every consecutive year on da stock market, and I seem to recall getting my ‘stock’ fully ‘marketed.’ OH! You gotta acquit on dat, you gotta acquit on dat one.”

Photos: Splash News


  1. Lindsay Lohan Drunk London
    Commented on this photo:

    “‘Ey! Dish door ish callin’ me a ‘pushy.’ Yer da pushy, pushy!”

  2. Lindsay Lohan Drunk London
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsey is VERY confident that she aced this screen test for the lead role in “The Incredible Mr. Limpett.”

  3. Lindsay Lohan Drunk London
    Commented on this photo:

    Gee, glad the photo gallery is working again . . lol. Looks like someone shaved Bill the Cat’s face.

  4. your mom

    Sue her for what, exactly?

  5. karlito

    smiling and waving at the cameras. what the hell is she up to? she may be a coked up, drunken, deep throater but she’s not completely stupid. she acting nice for some reason.

  6. booya

    How in the fuck do Michael and Dina have money? Do they work? what do they do? I’m not saying this jokingly either. I have never understood this. It’s clear that LiLo doesn’t have Mean Girls money rolling in anymore and she’s of age. It’s not like when the Olsen twins’ parents were raking it in during Full House. And no one gives a fuck if he did or didn’t rape her. I hate to say it but this is worse than the Kardashian Household. At least they have a TV show that brings in ad revenue. I’m not saying it’s good, but idiots watch it. Someone is benefiting enough to give them money. LiLo’s parents?? Absolutely zero value. Please.Die.

    • Dina mooches off Lindsay. Michael sells his daughter’s phone conversations and photos, which is why Lindsay has (again) cut off all contact with him.

      Lindsay is surrounded by users and always has been. Samantha Ronson got hundreds of thousands of dollars (no, really) from the paparazzi during their relationship to give them the “inside details” and to tell them when and where she and Lindsay would be drinking and coking it up.

      The whole thing was great for Ronson’s career as a DJ and helped kill Lindsay’s.

  7. Schmidtler

    All that time and expense to file a complaint, go through all the pretrial motions and discovery, expense of lawyers and all that – why not just resolve it fast and cheap with a good swift kick to her vagina?

  8. Lindsay Lohan Drunk London
    Commented on this photo:


  9. USDA Prime McBeef

    You can’t rape your wife. Can’t rape that girl even though you brought her out to dinner. Shit, you can’t even rape a slut that’s asking for it with that tiny skirt.

    Goddamn feminists and liberals are taking all that away and calling it legitimate rape. It’s fucking sickening. It’s destroying our cultural heritage.

  10. I saw Find Me Guilty, Fish. In the theater, no less. And I know exactly why you saw it: criminal defense attorney Peter Dinklage.

  11. Lindsay Lohan Drunk London
    Commented on this photo:

    Hello doughface

  12. inkydink

    fuck her and her daughter.

  13. She needs to stop making those stupid-ass pursed lip faces ASAP.

  14. Lindsay Lohan Drunk London
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF? I’ve seen better looking corpses.

  15. Lindsay Lohan Drunk London
    Commented on this photo:

    “PUSH…Why, that’s good advice. I’ll remember it the next time I get laid.”

  16. As much as I am disgusted by this entire clan, if they were standing in front of a firing squad that had only one bullet, I’d encourage the execution of Michael Lohan. He is a useless piece of slug shit. At least with Lindsay and Dina we get an occasional laugh and a recurring titty flash…

  17. tkoblondee

    But vito without Lindsay there would be no Michael or Dina!

  18. I want to read those lines in the style of Rosie Perez, instead. :D

  19. Lindsay Lohan Drunk London
    Commented on this photo:

    You figure for a hundred grand he would have made sure she finished swallowing.

  20. Lindsay Lohan Drunk London
    Commented on this photo:

    No Lindsay, Disney doesn’t have any pufferfish parts for Finding Nemo 3D…

  21. “Your honor, the defense moves that Michael Lohan has no character to defame.”
    “Case dismissed!”

  22. yeahsure

    This was some quality writing, also you’re not the only one who saw the movie!

  23. mike

    Once LiLo finds out how polite and liberal London law enforcement truly is, she has a good chance of successfully stealing the Queens Jewel and Royal doggie

  24. Lindsay Lohan Drunk London
    Brian Pumper
    Commented on this photo:

    She seems to defy ageing! Also, I’m a prolific liar.

  25. NE1

    He just wants a cut of that Entertainment Tonight check.. Too bad Dina’s already cut it up into white lines..

  26. Lindsay Lohan Drunk London
    Roberto Luongo
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that the “Eye of Horus” on her ugly left hand?

  27. Lindsay Lohan Drunk London
    Miss Mo
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does she always look dirty? Seriously that hair needs to be washed.

  28. she is leading for the role of “Howard the duck 2 lost in hell”

  29. Lindsay Lohan Drunk London
    Commented on this photo:

    Did someone pull a floater outta the Hudson River? DAMN that’s just Lielo. I think I need to bleach my eyeballs now, ICK. And she STILL thinks she’s some kinda A-list movie star, keep drinkin the kool aid Lielo. LOL

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