Lindsay Lohan’s Dad Threatens To Sue Her Mom If She Keeps Saying He Raped Her

Seen here still in London even though she had a court hearing on Monday that they would’ve thrown her ass in jail for not showing up to, but it was delayed that morning which she had no way of knowing would happen, Lindsay Lohan’s dad Michael apparently isn’t a big fan of her mom Dina telling the media that he raped her. Which is odd for a man who will use any and everybody to shove his face into the press. Seriously, he should be thanking himself for being a coked-up ex-con rapist. Just look at all this Internet ink. TMZ reports:

Michael Lohan is threatening ex-wife Dina Lohan — either stop accusing him of rape, or face his legal wrath.
Michael’s attorney just sent a cease-and-desist letter to Dina — following a recent interview in which Dina claimed Michael raped her during a coke binge in 1990.
In the letter, Michael’s attorney calls Dina’s allegations “false, defamatory, and unlawful.”

Yes, please, let Michael Lohan sue Dina in court. There’s nothing I’d love to see more than this vagina-kicking clown try to plead his case by channeling the rape-baby of Andrew Dice Clay and Vin Diesel’s character in Find Me Guilty (Tell me I’m not the only person who saw that movie.): “Yer honah, how cud it possibly be rape when I specifically remember dat bird subpeen-o-in’ my balls like day was a reprieve from da guvanah? And if dat’s not enuff, which it should be, my attorney over here tells me dat Title IV Section C of Long Island zoning regulations specifically states youse allowed one rape for every consecutive year on da stock market, and I seem to recall getting my ‘stock’ fully ‘marketed.’ OH! You gotta acquit on dat, you gotta acquit on dat one.”

Photos: Splash News