Michael Lohan Hopes His New Bastard Turns Out Just Like Lindsay. Me Too.

It’s always a good rule of thumb to never make a big announcement about being pregnant during the first trimester because if anything really bad’s going to go wrong, it’s then. However, this approach doesn’t allow you to call Harvey Levin while Kate Major is still wiping the pee off her snooch and scream, “BABY! I MADE A FUCKING BABY! PUT ME IN YOUR INTERNET MACHINE!” which is exactly what Michael Lohan did. And, of course, here he is pretending to be a “friend” of Kate Major’s to anyone who will transcribe his words into press. Sweet, sweet press. HuffPost Celebrity reports:

“It is for sure his child and they are back together,” a friend of Kate’s tells me. “They are both very excited about the news and can’t wait for the arrival of the baby. Michael is already picking out names and hopes they have a daughter as beautiful and talented as Lindsay. This is a second chance for him to be the parent he always wanted to be.”

Actually, this is Michael’s… Let’s see, Michael Jr., Ali, Cody, the other bastardfourth chance to be a non-shithead parent, but who’s counting? On that note, I’ve never stopped to ask this before, but does he even know who Lindsay Lohan is? Because judging by the fact he wants this kid to turn out just like her, I’m pretty sure if you asked him what his daughter’s last movie was he’d probably say, “Why Spider-Man, of course,” and then talk about how he doesn’t know about this British guy she’s dating, but “Dad’s are gonna worry, amirite?”

Photos: Terry’s Diary