Michael Lohan Wants to Box John Bobbit

“And I’m gonna kick him right in the va- cutoff penis.”

Last week, I would’ve bet money that Dog the Bounty Hunter bailing out Nicolas Cage would be the most random thing to happen this month. Except clearly, I forgot to factor in how desperate Michael Lohan is for attention because he just agreed to fight John Wayne Bobbit for charity. RadarOnline reports:

“It should be a very interesting match!” Celebrity Boxing founder Damon Feldman told RadarOnline.
“It’s for a great cause, raising awareness for teen drug and alcohol addiction.”

Yes, this should go really far in battling teen drug addiction. In fact, I’m surprised kids aren’t instantly cured just from the mere mention of it.

“In one corner, a man who’s only claim to fame is having a wife so tired of his domestic abuse and marital rape she cut his penis off in his sleep: John. Wayne. BOBBITTT! And in this corner, a comparable woman beater who never met a private family moment he wouldn’t sell for cash: Lindsay. Lohan’s. DADDD!! Stay off drugs, kids.”

Photos: Splash News