Michael Lohan is a Mastermind

October 15th, 2010 // 26 Comments
Michael Lohan

Recovering alcoholic Michael Lohan is reportedly threatening to become a drunk again – but only so he can be next to his daughter Lindsay in rehab because that’s entirely how these things work. TMZ reports:

We’re told Michael is going to show up at Betty Ford and demand admission. He will stage his own arrest — to show everyone how much he cares about his daughter.
Michael is saying he’ll make one more trip to Betty Ford to attempt to see Lindsay. If she won’t let him in, he’s going to get all drunk and then go back and make a scene.

You really gotta give Michael Lohan credit for this one. The man actually found a convenient excuse to fall off the wagon and blame it completely on someone else. That’s the Lohan way!

“Ladies and gentlemen, believe me when I say I don’t want to drink this sweet delicious scotch that makes me forget I’m a giant asshole. *takes a swig* Mm.. I am absolutely hating this. *swigs again* Is this a single malt? Goddamn. I mean, oh, my poor daughter. *chugs* Hey, baby, how you doin’? See this? All Lohan. *pukes on an alley cat* That’s for giving my daughter AIDS.. cat! I recorded you… I so recorded you… Okay, I forgive you. Drive me to In N’ Out?”

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. The REAL truly TRUE TAB

    Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

  2. nom nom nom

    lindsay is hot.

  3. The petulant one

    Love the string of spittle stretching from lip to lip.

  4. mupps

    You know, as much as LL is made fun of on here….you do have to feel a slight bit of sympathy. With this fuckface for a dad and that harpy for a mother she had no fucking chance……Might as well have drowned her at birth she was shagged either way.

  5. JRS22

    Why are Fox and CNN holding microphones up to this nobody piece of garbage?

  6. SometimesElla

    Look at all those microphones. Seriously. People at CNN heard Michael Lohan was doing a press conference and sent a reporter and camera. My soul is bleeding.

    • taint misbehavin'

      You shouldn’t be surprised…hell they had Larry King on all those years, and he’s the worst interviewer EVER. And a perv.

  7. Jess

    This man is scum and was abusive to his ex wife and daughters. Obviously he is a big part of the problems that Lindsay has. And now that she is in a confined space he is going to break in to see her? Really? How is that going to help her recover faster?

  8. Lady Blah Blah

    Shut this asshole up.

  9. Fart Sniffer

    What a role model this asshat is for sobriety. I guess that is why the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.

  10. Rob

    What a toolbag. Everything he does is a publicity stunt.

  11. Daisy

    FAKE! You can tell this is photoshopped because the shadows are all wrong.

    This is exactly like that scene in the beloved syndicated series “The Brady Bunch” where the family has to get rid of their beloved dog “Tiger” because everyone thinks Jan is allergic to him to everyone, one by one, unwittingly bathes him at night after bedtime thinking they’re the only ones giving him a bath so the dog winds up with like 6 baths overnight but it turns out Jan’s not allergic to Tiger she’s allergic to his new flea powder.

  12. Daisy

    FAKE! You can tell this is photoshopped because the shadows are all wrong.

    This is exactly like that scene in the beloved syndicated series “The Brady Bunch” where the family has to get rid of their revered dog “Tiger” because everyone thinks Jan is allergic to him to everyone, one by one, unwittingly bathes him at night after bedtime thinking they’re the only ones giving him a bath so the dog winds up with like 6 baths overnight but it turns out Jan’s not allergic to Tiger she’s allergic to his new flea powder.

  13. A beautiful (rough) mind

    At what point do they arrest this creep for harassment? Forget it, it’ll probably play right in his hand…

  14. Matthew

    see this why lindsay is screwed up douchebag dad and Party mom ruin a good and up comming actress!

  15. Cock Dr

    Oh yes please…..PLEASE let this douchebag do something to get arrested.
    Isn’t he on parole?
    Yes, please get arrested. Go for it. Rob that liquor store, punch that old lady, ram your car into the police cruiser.

  16. Bow Down Assholes

    I wish I was there so I could cheer Mike On. “Chug, chug,chug,chug….”

  17. Oh, good – he’s got his drinkin’ suit on. This will end well.

  18. LJ

    The more her parents open their mouths the more you realize that Lindsay never had a chance.

    Both Michael and Dina are too far down the rungs to even be called famewhore douchbags.

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