Michael Lohan: ‘I’m Gonna Call Lindsay From the Bar and Make Her Jealous’

July 7th, 2010 // 51 Comments

After a day of weeping outside the courthouse and going on Larry King Live, you’d think Michael Lohan would spend the rest of the night in somber reflection of his daughter’s plight. Except if you actually thought that, you’d be an idiot because the dude went partying! Whoo! Appropriate! Here’s Michael at Saddle Ranch last night where he signed autographs for fans (?), smiled for pictures and told TMZ he was going to call Lindsay from the bar and “make her jealous.” Let me repeat that: Michael Lohan was going to call a SCRAM-wearing, alcoholic Lindsay from a drinking establishment and rub it in her face. — It’s like I want to laugh (more) but at the same time I kind of want to go back and erase everything bad I ever said about Lindsay because Jesus Christ. She never stood a chance. How she hasn’t started picking off toddlers outside a day care by now is anybody’s guess.

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. Randal


  2. poor guy

    i like his watch

  3. cc

    If you were ever unclear about what a douchebag is, now you know.

  4. Randal

    Excuse my outburst, I felt overjoyed at the opportunity of expressing my admiration for Michael’s courage and composure during these trying times. With his beloved daughter in the midst of the media’s scrutiny, Michael looks appropriately cool and casual in his denim and tees, as he sets exemplary behavior to his fellow A-list celebrities in toning down the frenzy that paparazzi so desperately crave.

    Best of luck to Lindsay and her family during this hardship.


  5. M

    I hate to defend this piece of shit but he never said he was going to call her to “make her jealous”. That was TMZ’s assumption.

    • basic literacy 101

      Thank you for pointing this out!!! Put a little more effort into writing you posts so your damn jokes make sense!

  6. Keith

    Love that slutty mexican he’s with.

  7. Fish Dude, Who is the (as Keith calls her) “Slutty Mexican”? She could be the next banner girl… Nice rack!!

  8. ZigZagZoey

    WOW. Incredible.

    D ouche
    O f
    U ber
    C olossal
    H eights
    E verlasting

  9. Stango Betterman

    He needs to be pounded to a fine paste and fed to weasels. This does make me a little more soft on Lindsay. Between this shit stain father and her retarded fame whore mother, what chance did a young girl with mental problems and big tits have?

    • Jake

      Agreed. Unless she had had the foresight to get twin restraining orders as Christmas presents back in like 1995, there’s no way she could have become a real human.

    • Jimmy Fury

      You sick bastard I hope you rot in the hottest part of hell for even thinking something as horrible as that. People like you should be locked up.

      Weasels are cute. why would you want to make them suffer like that… jerk.

      Feed him to Llamas. Llamas are assholes.

      • Miss E

        Or, you could just feed him to Dina. She’s used to it.

      • Jimmy Fury

        Might not work on Dina as described. The paste would either have to be made into free ice cream or dried, powdered, and used to cut her blow.

  10. msa
    Commented on this photo:

    who cares about him…that girl in the 1st pic is f’n hot!!! more of her please!!!

  11. Line forms behind me for the nut kicking, what a f’n scumbag

  12. msa

    seriously…who is that hot girl in the 1st pic. more pics of her. Ridiculous!

  13. Gene

    Dude – surely theres got to be a more attractive loser family we can concentrate on?

    One in which we get to see twat…and sisters making out…and all of that normal stuff?

  14. scooby
    Commented on this photo:

    Agreed. Less of this asshole, more random hot girls!

  15. Pablo

    This guy is a tool. It’s hard to blame Lindsay for how she is when her parent(s) are the definition of the word “moron.”

    • Osaka

      Yeah, I don’t know but i suddenly feel sorry for her.(kinda) and you are right pablo if you have parents like that it’s no wonder you end up like that

    • M

      Oh please don’t defend this self-entitled little twat. She is a grown up and is responsible for every bad decision she has made.

      • Sheena

        For 99.9% of “celebrities” what you observe is smack on the money, M.

        However, when referring to Miss Lindsey, one does have to take into consideration her having been sold into child slavery to the Mouse after having been nurtured by mutant dysfunctionals like Dina & Michael Lohan. Honestly, I don’t see how this kid could possibly be right in the head. Have to agree with Pablo.

  16. tubface
    Commented on this photo:

    yes… not a chance

  17. tubface

    no wonder she stuffs narcotics and pharms in her face like a fat kid with cookies

  18. cmyk

    That’s nothing. My dad calls me up from bars all the time to run it in. The really awkward part was when he called from a brothel, though.

  19. Shannon

    Wow. That girl never had a chance.

  20. This site should also have a Douche of the Decade contest. Between this dicklick and Pratt it is neck and neck and only a true vote of the public can determine a true winner.

  21. I should also add still show pics of hot girls instead of them though because the site needs to maintain it’s integrity and high standards us pervs have become accustomed to over the years.

  22. ItseffingME

    Who is the girl in the first picture with him? THAT is the real story. My God, she’s gorgeous.

  23. Miss E

    This guy is such a piece of shit.

  24. MJ

    this whole family is a train wreck

  25. KJ

    Michael Lohan has fans?? That’s quite frightening.

  26. captain america

    “Lock Up” means something?

  27. Rob

    Who dresses this douch…? And WHY wasn’t someone just punched this guy in the face yet????

  28. Slig

    He like lindsay

  29. Chrissy
    Commented on this photo:


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