Michael Lohan Charged for Attacking Fiancee

I always knew, deep in my heart, these pics would come back to bite Michael Lohan in the ass. Then again, that’s usually the price of trying to be Stallone in Over the Top. Moving on…

Michael Lohan has been officially charged with 2nd degree harassment for allegedly assaulting his now ex-fiancee Kate Major, according to TMZ:

According to Kate’s complaint she says, “My fiance Michael Lohan came home while I was sleeping in a sofa chair. He woke me up, yelling, ‘Why didn’t you pick up your cell phone, you stupid c**t.'”
Kate continues, “He then turned over the chair while I was still in it, tossing me to the floor. I crawled to the other side of the room to get away from him. He walked over to me, took his shoe off and kicked me in my face while I was still on the ground. He stood over me and said, ‘I’m going to go back to jail cause of you, cause I will kill you.'”

Michael claims there was an argument, but no physical contact, and that Kate is lying because she’s jealous of his reality show prospects. You know the ones that never happen:

“Kate has severe drinking problems and she’s jealous of all the people involved in the show.”
Lohan is putting together a reality show with a cast that includes Rachel Uchitel and Joslyn James.
Michael says of Kate, “She has no money, no job and she’s been living off of me for the last 8 months … and her dad just cut her off.” He claims Kate needs money so bad, she would stoop to creating a false story.

Of course, surprise, Rachel Uchitel denies any talks of a reality show and says she’s only ever met Michael Lohan once. While I’m still suspicious of the lack of vagina kicking in this situation, I’m starting to think he’s guilty. But only because all this Mel Gibson coverage put ideas in his head. “Now they’ll have to put me on TMZ! And here I almost went out and got a real job. Ha! Who does that?”

Photos: Splash News