Later, Michael’s bond would be revoked after giving his bondsman’s wife a foot massage.
Here’s Michael Lohan shortly after posting bail yesterday afternoon for allegedly beating Kate Major again either because, her story, she refused to blow him or, his story, because he ejaculated in her and she got all pissy about it while hopped up on goofballs. (No, really.) At any rate, the judge gave him specific instructions not to even “dream” about Kate, so keeping in mind his last name, guess how this story ends not even 12 hours after he got out of jail and posed for pictures like Thumbs Up McGee. Via RadarOnline:
Police in Tampa said he violated the terms of his release from jail by calling his ex gal pal Kate Major on the phone overnight, just two days after his arrest on battery domestic violence charges in connection with a fight they’d had.
The Hillsborough County State Attorney’s Office, at that point, authorized Lohan be arrested for the violation.
Police said when they tried to catch up with the New York native at the motel he was staying at (Tahitian Inn), Lohan jumped out of a third story balcony before running from officers, who apprehended him after a foot chase.
Lohan, 51, may have suffered a broken foot in the incident, according to police, and was being treated at Tampa General Hospital.
So last week when Michael Lohan shoved his face in the press to condemn Lindsay’s drug addiction and constant legal troubles, he offered her this advice, “You can’t dance with the devil and expect to go home with Jesus.” Except what he really meant was, “Yeah, I’m gonna kick all these vaginas, see? And ain’t none of youse coppers can stop me. Now watch me scram out this window- Ah, sonofabitch, my foot!”
Photos: Splash News
I seriously cannot believe what a giant douche-waffle this guy is! I know he’s a Lohan, but this is unreal. And to think, Kate Major left the loving arms of Jon Gosselin for this. If I were her, I’d think about dating someone stable next time, like Chris Brown.
Kate Major wanted to be famous, and now she is. I wonder if it was really worth the price.
If douche-waffles were a real thing, Michael Lohan would be the butter flavored syrup.
All I get from this is that Kate Major must give hella good bjs
1st…
loser
I hope those officers walloped him good.
Can’t decide now if I want to get some Lacoste clothing or go work out, but one thing I do know: must have a Big Hug Mug!
Even his shirt logo uses steroids.
That bail bondsman is hot! MiLo is a stupid loser, no wonder his kids are a mess.
I think it’s Marsellus Wallace!
Love the Cagney impression, Feesh :-) M’yah!
Or Tommy “Tiny” Lister, the Ving Rhames lookalike who played the bail agent in Jackie Brown.
Cagney broke his foot? Who’s going to do the Yankee Doodle Dandy number now?
Except this time Zed chose the white guy to go first.
I for real for a minute was thinking why the hell is Ving Rhames hanging out with this loser.
Hey it’s Sgt. Doakes from Dexter!
michael lohan chest pains in 3…2…1…
Gawd this guy is the biggest douche. I am actually cringing in embarrassment for him looking at that photo. The t-shirt tucked in to his high pants, the flipflops, that stupid fucking grin with a thumbs up…. ugh.
I only hope that all his and Dinas spawn hurry up and remove themselves from the gene pool before they have a chance to reproduce. The last thing we need is another generation of fucking lohans. KEEP SMOKING THAT METH LINDSAY!!
You know you’ve hit bottom when Mike Tyson arrests you!
Low life woman beater. Pull your pants up higher Dracula head.
In every photo like this, there’s a black guy in the background saying it all with his entire facial expression.
I want that Big Hug Mug
Remember having one in my house as a kid! hm loved me some hot cocoa
Tahitian inn? What sort of service do they provide different from other chain? So if you check into Tahitian Inn, they’ll make you feel like you’re in Tahiti. I dont get it. Are the maids look like Bruce Willis’ wife?
Ving Rhames – actor, bail bondsman, coffee drinker.
Chris Rock – all black people look the same.
I think the police need to amend their rules about shooting fleeing suspects.
Call it the ‘Lohan exception’.
I used to think my family and my fifteen siblings were messed up, but seeing how the Logan’s behave makes me thank my lucky stars that I didn’t come into this world with them as my parents.
Well you don’t how to read or spell, so that’s a problem. LOHAN, not LOGAN.
Broken foot, huh?
Sounds like a nasty tackle on sidewalk. That thing probably sounded like a dead tree branch snapping. Once you hear it, you never forget.
I’m sure douchebag screeched and screamed that his foot was broken when they took him down, and demanded to be taken to the hospital, hoping he could again try his “slip out the back door” move.
He’s probably got a little bruise boo boo.
I wonder if he had chest pains
If this was my father, I’d make sure I do ANYTHING to not ever be like him. lindsay is following his footsteps 100% in every way. just because she doesn’t talk to him doesn’t mean she still can’t pick up 100% after him. not talking to him is not enough.
seriously feeling sorry for the rest of the family. yes, including dina. I feel she’s like one of those powerless mothers victims of the father and the reckless kids, that she feels all she can do is just let things take its course and become a “cool mom”. she knows she can’t win.
Yawn. Hi Dina.
You might be the only person on earth who doesn’t blame you and actually feels sorry for you.
I’m going to be laughing my ass off all day picturing Michael Lohan trying to pull an A-Team or some shit leaping off a balcony and trying to run from the cops. You can’t buy comedy like that.
………..HE REALLY LIKES IT DOWN THERE, folks!!
Dumber than a bag of hammers !
Hey fuck you man
Now THAT was “comedy”. Well played.
After meeting in county Jail, Lohan and his “cell husband” Maurice, posed for cameras while displaying their mutual love of coffee, oversized logo casual wear, and incorrectly performed “shocker”.
Why is this guy even relevant? He’s the father of a has-been cokehead skank. I don’t get why parents of so-called stars are even considered to be famous. Famous for what? Spawning another cancer upon the earth? Just because your daughter is blowing the United States justice system into letting her off repeatedly without more than a finger wag doesn’t mean you’re cool. Go out and do something worthwhile, instead of acting like a jackass just to keep your name in the tabloids. He has a face I’d love to smack with a shovel.
When did MiLo hire Ving Rhames as a body guard?
Can’t a middle-aged oral pleasuring devotee practice his Parkour skills without being arrested!?!
stupid trees deserve nice warm fireplaces by way of dull chainsaws.
He’s not even MY dad and he’s embarrassing the shit outta me!
No vagina kicking? C’mon, reading a story about this douchehole with no mention of vagina kicking is like watching an entire NASCAR race without seeing a single wreck. Step up your game there, MiLo!
Dear Michael: The next time you feel like kicking someone in the vagina or committing abuse against a woman, please go straight to the Kartrashian slores. Now, granted said foot might get stuck in the Sasquatch but you can definitely take one for the team.
This guy is literally the biggest tool on the planet.
How the hell does he actually make money?I mean selling out Lindsay can’t be that profitable.
I kinda see now where Lindsay gets her disdain for abiding by the reality of punishment the court system will give out.
Love makes people do stupid things. …. (pfft HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!). More likely stupid people do stupid things.
Man that’s Sgt. Doakes! It’s good to see he got a job after the show.
Thumbs up if you went to prison last night and hooked up with a black guy.
I love that this guy constantly runs to the media to say how much help Lindsay needs (and she does) and then thinks he’s Peter Parker’s alter-ego while trying to flee from the police.
Michael Lohan looks like the Situation! Anyone else notice this? Mind = blown (and grossed out)…
Yeah, that’s right, flat fronts! I heard the pleats were aging me.
Paps: “Michael! Michael! Give us a wave!”
(Michael gives thumbs up.*snap snap snap*)
Paps: “Jeez, what a douche.”
(Paps get paid. Paps deposit check. Pay rent.)
Nice Pulp Fiction reference :)