HIDE YOUR KIDS MICHAEL JACKSON’S ALIVE!!
Just last week Michael Jackson was hit with new molestation claims, so what better time to have a hologram of him perform at last night’s Billboard Music Awards? Who wouldn’t want that in their living room?
“Honey, I know you don’t like to talk about it, but I’m proud of you for surviving what you did as a little boy and finding the courage to start a new family with me and the kids. I don’t say that enough. I mean, how do you find the strength?”
“Honestly? Knowing he’s dead and can’t hurt anyone else.”
“And that’s okay. You’re allowed to feel that way. Now, what say we watch some TV? Just you and me. *presses remote* Oh, look the Billboard Music Awards.”
“I wonder who’s up for an- NOOO! YOU’RE DEAD! YOU DIED! I SAW YOUR BODY! I SAW YOUR FUCKING BODY!” *goes room to room with a shotgun before turning the gun on himself*
ABC: America’s Favorite Network