HIDE YOUR KIDS MICHAEL JACKSON’S ALIVE!!

May 19th, 2014 // 11 Comments
Michael Jackson
WATCH: Michael Jackson Hologram Performs - BBMA

Just last week Michael Jackson was hit with new molestation claims, so what better time to have a hologram of him perform at last night’s Billboard Music Awards? Who wouldn’t want that in their living room?

“Honey, I know you don’t like to talk about it, but I’m proud of you for surviving what you did as a little boy and finding the courage to start a new family with me and the kids. I don’t say that enough. I mean, how do you find the strength?”
“Honestly? Knowing he’s dead and can’t hurt anyone else.”
“And that’s okay. You’re allowed to feel that way. Now, what say we watch some TV? Just you and me. *presses remote* Oh, look the Billboard Music Awards.”
“I wonder who’s up for an- NOOO! YOU’RE DEAD! YOU DIED! I SAW YOUR BODY! I SAW YOUR FUCKING BODY!” *goes room to room with a shotgun before turning the gun on himself*

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  1. R Kelly

    I just want to be the first to day welcome back to Michael. A true icon to many of us.

  2. The Most Interesting

    Reached afterward for comment, an RIAA source, commenting anonymously because he was not authorized to do so, said, “The fuck else are we supposed to do? Shit, pick any two of the photons in that thing, and you’ve got more talent than the rest of this room combined!”

    He continued, “He made Thriller, man. Thriller.”

  3. Thirty years later, does anyone give a shit about his horrible music?

  4. Oh BABY

    The Tupac hologram was better; whoever did the Jackson one didn’t get his face right.

    Jackson was a phenomenal talent. I’d be interested to know how he’d feel about all of this; my guess is that he’d be sad to know that, even dead, he can’t get any peace.

  5. greenmeanie

    My guess is someone at the BBMA shot down his family’s idea of dangling his corpse on strings and controlling it like a marionette, because…money.

  6. Can holograms molest?

  7. I’m sure after seeing this, Corey Feldman immediately asked for some private time with the machine.

  8. IndustrialBunni

    Kesha is tweaking a bit.

  9. oh, and all the shadows are fake...

    Too life-like, doesn’t really look like Jackson at all.

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