Michael Bay Got Attacked By Triads In Hong Kong

October 17th, 2013 // 13 Comments
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“Dude, dude, check it out. I’m with a hot chick, and the kind black dudes like. That’s funny!”

While filming Transformers: Age of Extinction in Hong Kong this morning, Michael Bay suddenly found himself being exactly right that time he said all Chinese people know karate because two of them started kicking him in the face while demanding protection money, according to E! News:

The siblings reportedly felt they should be compensated for allowing Bay and his crew to film in the city’s Quarry Bay district. The brothers attacked Bay, who sustained injuries to the right side of his face. The Pain & Gain director declined medical attention.
The older brother was arrested on suspicion of assault, while the younger brother was arrested on suspicion of assault and blackmail. Police have now handed the case over to specialist anti-triad units reserved for tackling Hong Kong’s notorious criminal gangs.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” Michael Bay said while hugging a brick of C4 for comfort. “I even tried reasoning with them in their own language. I said, ‘Guys, rook, me no rove you rong time, okay? But ret’s go get some Generar Tso Chicken and tark about Yackie Chan.’ But for some reason they weren’t having it. Maybe I should’ve let them bang one of the chicks on set, I dunno, I was kind of saving those for me. Plus their dicks would’ve been too small. It’s a fucked up world, man.”

UPDATE: Michael Bay claims he was simply swung at by a junkie with an air conditioner – Who never connected! – but did mysteriously detonate later. Which was AWESOME.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Pacific Coast News


  1. I want to say something like, “Oh look, Michael Bay is with his two favorite things, a hot chick and a car.” But I would feel bad because I like Rebel Wilson and she doesn’t deserve that, so I won’t say it.
    Oh wait.

  2. Oh, I don’t know about the whole “protection money” angle. My guess is that they saw the previous Transformers movies and were trying to avert another disaster.

  3. Candice Swanepoel Behati Prinsloo Ana Beatriz Barros Underwear Victorias Secret
    Commented on this photo:

    Any man who say they wouldn’t put his nose all up in there is liar!!!

    • crb

      And there would be nothing but peppermints and jujubees and lemondrops in there; they don’t call her “Candy” for nothing.

  4. Sure that was really a brick of C4, or just one that he previously shit when they tooled up on him?

  5. Candice Swanepoel Behati Prinsloo Ana Beatriz Barros Underwear Victorias Secret
    Commented on this photo:

    Michael Bay’s Instagram?

  6. Who is the hot girl?

  7. Vengador

    One word…. Prostitutes… High end prostitutes… for sure, the triads like all world mafias control the sex slave trade.

  8. I refuse to believe that Michael got near, much less touched, a female weighing more than 85 pounds. (Love Rebel.)

  9. lawn

    You know, I was just wondering what Sally Struthers was up to lately.

  10. rebel is so unfunny. foul, snorting, squealer.

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