“Dude, dude, check it out. I’m with a hot chick, and the kind black dudes like. That’s funny!”
While filming Transformers: Age of Extinction in Hong Kong this morning, Michael Bay suddenly found himself being exactly right that time he said all Chinese people know karate because two of them started kicking him in the face while demanding protection money, according to E! News:
The siblings reportedly felt they should be compensated for allowing Bay and his crew to film in the city’s Quarry Bay district. The brothers attacked Bay, who sustained injuries to the right side of his face. The Pain & Gain director declined medical attention.
The older brother was arrested on suspicion of assault, while the younger brother was arrested on suspicion of assault and blackmail. Police have now handed the case over to specialist anti-triad units reserved for tackling Hong Kong’s notorious criminal gangs.
“I don’t know how to explain it,” Michael Bay said while hugging a brick of C4 for comfort. “I even tried reasoning with them in their own language. I said, ‘Guys, rook, me no rove you rong time, okay? But ret’s go get some Generar Tso Chicken and tark about Yackie Chan.’ But for some reason they weren’t having it. Maybe I should’ve let them bang one of the chicks on set, I dunno, I was kind of saving those for me. Plus their dicks would’ve been too small. It’s a fucked up world, man.”
UPDATE: Michael Bay claims he was simply swung at by a junkie with an air conditioner – Who never connected! – but did mysteriously detonate later. Which was AWESOME.