THE HUMAN TORCH IS BLACK! OHMYGODD!!!

February 21st, 2014 // 71 Comments
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Photo Boy doesn’t do nerd shit, so here’s a chance for everyone to go dick-nuts over Michael B. Jordan being cast as the new Human Torch in the Fantastic Four reboot yesterday. A decision I’m naturally fine with because a. WALLACE FROM THE WIRE WHY DO I NEED TO SAY MORE? and b. I grasp the simple concept that most comic book characters were created during the 50s and 60s when they had to be white because America was even more racist than it is now which is why white people speak of that time with such fondness and would time-travel us all back there if they weren’t predominantly religious and afraid of science. That said, I’m also on board with the Comics Alliance post linked below which asks a buttload of great questions like why Michael B. Jordan has to be Johnny Storm and not say Reed Richards. So here’s that for your perusal:

Fox’s Fantastic Four Reboot: What The FF? – Comics Alliance

And here’s Maria Menounos‘ spectacular ass in case you couldn’t give less fucks about any of this:

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. ‘Got a WAY bigger problem with Jamie Bell being Ben Grimm.

    So Tintin is going to play the Thing… Yeah, makes COMPLETE SENSE.

    And yeah, Wheeler’s right – Jordan would have been a much cooler choice for Richards.

  2. A black man setting himself on fire is the KKK’s ultimate wet dream.

  3. JBJJ

    Won’t be watching this piece of shit. I’m fucking tired of this Bullshit casting. Stop being fucking new-age and find appropriate people to play the appropriate characters. If they were drawn black, find a black guy. I don’t pay to see the story, I pay to see the characters. Fucking ass-hats. Let make a Black Panther movie and cast him as White, see how well that one works.

    • JC

      I know, right? Because comics about superheros on fire and dudes made out of rock are sacrosanct and can never be changed or re-imagined, not even in the most inconsequential way. That shit’s holy word, just like the Bible.

    • WAAAAHHH! Why can’t our fictional characters created in 1961 always stay the same? White people are getting everything taken away from us!

    • Leila

      I can’t tell if you didn’t read the article or didn’t understand it or haven’t got enough grey matter to understand that some of the best artistic choices require thinking outside the box. Whatever. You obviously don’t give a shit about the larger point–which is that it’s incumbent upon hollywood and creative thinkers to stop perpetuating racism. You think it’s stupid to change a white character to a black character–well, I think it’s stupid that you care so much about staying “true” to a comic book written when people were being hosed in the street and attacked by dogs for trying to use the same fucking bathroom.

  4. I agreed with much of the Comics Alliance’s essay, especially the part about Sue Storm. I have no problem with Jordan as Johnny, but then a black actress would have made a much better choice for Sue Storm, while also adding more diversity to the cast. I want to give the casting director props for going in the right direction, but this could be a mess in the end.

    • “adding more diversity to the cast” is a bad thing, not a good thing. The casting director did NOT “go in the right direction” – he went in the liberal pussy politically correct negroid-lover direction.

    • CrashHell

      That was my problem. Why just make Johnny black? Sue should be black too, but no, her parents took this little negro baby and loved it like their own rich white daughter. You could have killed the elephant in the room with a black Sue Storm.

  5. bacon wrapped

    If black Johnny is adopted, you know he and Sue are boning.

    I’ve watched enough porn in my life to know this is how this works in real life.

  6. I have a hard time caring about casting decisions for a movie that is just about 100% guaranteed to suck.

  7. I bet he wasn’t black BEFORE he caught fire the first time.

  8. Beer Baron

    I legit had no clue he was Wallace in The Wire. Damn. I’m not going to see the FF movie anyway, so cast anyone you want! I guess they will be going with the adopted angle, instead of a brother/sister or even half-siblings angle. He’s cast as Human Torch, at least cast an Invisible Woman who is mixed and doesn’t look like the whitest woman ever.

    Also a little confused with why Jaime Bell would be Thing. He’s a good actor, but I guess they’ll give Thing a “Hulk-CGI” treatment.

  9. Black People Be Like

    The Fantastic Fo’!

  10. they should just make all the characters black and have Tyler Perry play Sue Storm and direct it…..

  11. Echo5

    “So adding black roles corrects an established bias. It’s a positive response to racism. Removing black roles exacerbates that bias — it is itself a racist act.”

    It’s acceptable to change a white role to black but not a black role to white? Would it be considered such a triumph if an Asian or Hispanic would have been cast instead? I don’t think the people who love the idea of changing Storm to black would care nearly as much.

  12. Wolfy

    Another liberal writing being completely offended over a conservative outrage that will never come. Just because you scream injustice, doesn’t mean it’s there. Btw, this is shock casting that Fox loves to pull in order to mask what will be another terribly written movie (i.e. new Spider-man movies), Marvel wouldn’t change the race of a character unless it made for a good story and more importantly pulled from the source material. See: Bad-ass Nick Fury, as played by Sam Jackson. So before you whine about how “narrow-minded” writers were in the 60′s, remember, just 10 years later, the same writers were cranking out prominent black characters that are still integral to the Marvel universe today.

    • I can’t wait to see how Falcon is introduced as a pimp in the new Captain America movie. I hope they really play it up with the jive talk too. Canon is all!

      When your source material is an embarrassing dated mess, you should update it.

    • JC

      Given that this thread, on a site that is far from conservative, already features the words “negroid” and “ghetto monkey,” I’m guessing the conservative outrage is already in full effect.

  13. Blade was a kick ass comic book character….the New Fantastic Four will blow regardless….

  14. Just what we need, a foe-tee drinking, KFC eating ghetto monkey cast in a white role. I’ll bet he’ll be wearing saggy pants and driving a low rider too. This casting is RACIST against white people. It’s called racebending, folks.

  15. NukNuk

    Is Fantastic Four being directed by Tyler Perry now?

  16. gmrjr

    I don’t agree with this casting. I don’t see the need to re-image these long established characters. If anything I could have seen a black Ben Grimm. It wouldn’t have messed with the dynamic that much. I think this is just done for controversy.

  17. Greg

    So Sue and Johnny’s parent really liked the Jungle Boggie song?

  18. Heidi Klum has a white as snow daughter and a black as night daughter, both her biological children, not adopted. Holy shit, mind blown, wait what, that’s possible? Holy shit, what is this thing called science you speak of?

  19. I was more outraged, when I found that the Human Torch was denied a bank loan.

  20. Steve R.

    This is like The Wiz of superhero movies.
    I don’t like Jordan not because he’s black but because of his permanent Wil Smith impression face.

  21. Can’t believe this is causing controversy. Shame on both sides of the issue.

  22. oh man i cant wait to see what happens when Lena Dunham is cast as Dr Diva Von Doom.

  23. ThisWillHurt

    I think we’re all missing the real controversy here: They’re making another goddamn Fantastic Four movie.

  24. buzz

    I don’t know what’s harder to believe:

    A) Four astronauts go into space and acquire superpowers
    or,
    B) Not only is there a brother/sister team on the same space mission but that in that brother/sister team one’s black and the other white.

    LOL, fucking Hollywood.

    • Swearin

      And those astronauts are all under 35, because everyone knows in movies these days, nobody middle-aged goes into space

      *looks at Oscar nominations*

      F*ck, nevermind

  25. Frunken

    Spider-Man reboots missed a golden opportunity to make the Osborn family black. A great chance to give them the glorious fades they were meant to have.

  26. HaHaGenerator

    It’s not going far enough, Liberals!!!

    He needs to be a poor black gay vegan atheist who just signed up for Obamacare wearing a “Humans Cause Eskimos to Sweat!” t-shit. Only THEN will I watch it.

  27. kayk

    Can we make blade white or is arbitrarily changing the race of another well known comic book charactor racist?

  28. Will

    Racist to think you shouldn’t change the race of an existing character? Ok, change black panther to a white guy, see how that goes over.
    And the reason there are not as many black characters in comics is because of supply and demand. If more black people liked comics, there would be more characters. Mostly black people watch BET, thus, the shows on that channel will contain more black people.
    The issue with Human Torch being black, is more of the confusion in that his sister is still white. But, I guess it’s possible in a universe in which someone can turn into a flame.
    Stop throwing the race card around so casually, its an assumption, kind of like the root of racism you hypocrite.

    • You don’t think that a lack of minority characters might stem from, in the case of Marvel, the fact that their main franchises were all made in 1961-62? And the addition of minority characters in the late 60′s and early 70′s was so stereotypical and ham-fisted that you might think it was written by Micheal Bay.

      Additionally, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy after a point. My kid (adopted from Vietnam, btw) keeps looking at comics and superhero stuff and sees nobody in there to identify with. He’s not very interested in superheroes. The Last Airbender on the other hand, is the absolute tits. Partially because it’s pretty cool, but it’s accessible. Scott McCloud covers this in “Understanding Comics.”

  29. Um, does Coach Taylor know about this shit?

  30. Ningeogapik

    Eskimo nation, rise up – if they don’t cast an Inuit brother as the Silver Surfer, we’re boycotting this mother fucker!

  31. Kronaz

    Who could’ve predicted Superficial’s position on this? Why anyone who’s payed the slightest bit of attention to his politics over the last year.

  32. Why the big stink over the Human Torch being black now? I didn’t hear any of you racists bitching when Sue Storm was Hispanic and Johnny was white in the last movies.

    This sums up all the bitching that happens when these insignificant changes are made to certain characters.

  33. diversity hire

    “Why the big stink over the Human Torch being black now?”

    There isnt.

  34. tlmck

    Actor. How loosely we use the term these days.

  35. Jenn

    I don’t care what color he is as long as Jessica Can’t Act For Shit Alba isn’t Sue again.
    I do think Reed should be green this time.

  36. ReaganSucksDicksInHell

    Seriously Fish, just keep posting shit like this until all these moronic #tcot #bazinghazi fuckwits go away.

  37. Ray

    I am extremely sorry to hear this, I was really looking forward to a Fantastic Four reboot, but as I grew up with the comic books, this is the most disappointing news a die hard fan can ever receive. I am not a racist as I have black friends, but to change the torch to a black character means, the sister would have to be black as well and Mr. Fantastic did not marry a black invisible woman. This is changing our comic book history which is not acceptable to the real fans! I will not go see the movie!

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