ARMAGEDDON, BITCHES! And Other News

February 15th, 2013 // 9 Comments
Meteor Russia
WATCH: An Actual Goddamn Meteorite Hitting Russia

- Actual footage of the meteorite that hit Russia instead of me being a penis. [BuzzFeed]

- Gwyneth Paltrow will guide all you sad, lonely bitches through the sad loneliness. [Lainey Gossip]

- Brangelina are selling wine now. The secret ingredient is multi-national children’s tears. [Dlisted]

- John Mayer banged Katy Perry last night in case you’re wondering how and why that meteor happened. [Just Jared]

- All these women spent yesterday single, so their expectations are extremely low right now. Strike, STRIKE! [theCHIVE]

- Kate Upton doesn’t care if you call her fat because she’s a blonde, 20-something with amazing breasts. She’s the next stage in human evolution until she hits 30. [IDLYITW]

- Oh fucking Christ, now Maria Menounos is making out with that GoDaddy kid. Are his teeth a hedge fund manager? [Popoholic]

- Brooklyn Decker is a brunette now, so yet another cause of the meteor. [TooFab]

- Xenia Deli is still crazy hot. [Hollywood Tuna]

- And the same goes for Cintia Dicker in Sports Illustrated whose hotness will only further embolden the Ginger Revolution. We are at their mercy now. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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  1. cc

    Oh ffs all I got was a shitty Aerosmith video

  2. cc

    I have a huge list of places I wanted that to hit…what a let down. I mean, it missed the Kardashian household by about half a planet.

  3. Maybe the Mayans were just off by a few months.

  4. Cock Dr

    Obviously the supernatural forces that run the Big Show are very angry and have really bad aim. Punching holes in a remote Russian ice lake is no way to get rid of the K klan.

  5. How shitty must life in Russia be that every car has a video camera running at all times, AND when the goddamn fist of almighty thor blazes across your morning commute, you don’t give it so much as a “well look at that”…no, you just continue driving like a fucking drunken maniac.

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