The 2014 MET Gala: Sexy People In Fancy Clothes That Cost More Than Your House

May 6th, 2014 // 104 Comments

So I can move on with my life and find out if other people are showing their boobs at other places, here’s the rest of The 2014 MET Gala featuring the return of Blake Lively‘s breasts (I left you for Hilary Duff. Don’t make this weird.), Emma Stone who’s apparently done with her Nosferatu phase, Olivia Munn‘s cleavage which seems to be everywhere these days (Damn you, powerful shrimp lobby!), and the Elizabeth Olsen‘s hard nips which can presumably ward off her sisters. Or shoot heroin per their design. I’m not a woman doctor.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Elizabeth Olsen Nipples Legs Minidress MET Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a figure skating outfit.

  2. looks like quite the autofellatory extravaganza

  3. Johnny Depp Amber Heard MET Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Trolling for women to bring home for a 3some?
    Does Johnny even know where the fuck he is at that moment?

  4. Chrissy Teigen Side Boob MET Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Her face is weird but everything below it looks fantastic.

  5. Olivia Munn Cleavage MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “Aloha!”

  6. Rachel McAdams MET Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes classy & restrained is….boring.

  7. Gisele Bundchen Cleavage Tom Brady MET Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Aw…he cut his hair. I always enjoyed his Little Lord Fauntleroy look.

  8. Blake Lively Cleavage MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    A panty line? Seriously, girl?

  9. Blake Lively Cleavage MET Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    All starlets should buy their tits from Blake’s plastic surgeon.

  10. Reese Witherspoon Cleavage MET Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Bow down before the faintly gleaming forehead as it rises above us all.

  11. Emma Stone Andrew Garfield MET Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I think it’s a total sham. I won’t believe it unless an actual triple X sex tape is offered up, and even then I’ll suspect studio CGI manipulation.

  12. Olivia Munn Cleavage MET Gala
    Eenish
    Commented on this photo:

    I did not expect her to have hands like that

  13. Rihanna No Bra Nipples MET Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She sharpened her nipples for the occasion.

  14. Jack Ketch

    I know she’s had a shit-tonne of plastic surgery but this photo and angle makes her look like a well-preserved 48, ugh.

  15. Blake Lively Cleavage MET Gala
    alejandro
    Commented on this photo:

    a bit mannish in the face but still would.

  16. Selena Gomez Cleavage MET Gala
    Bob
    Commented on this photo:

    Hold this for me. I forgot my agent said I had to make sure I hid my muff while I was here.

  17. Reese Witherspoon Cleavage MET Gala
    alejandro
    Commented on this photo:

    Flick!

  18. Reese Witherspoon Cleavage MET Gala
    alejandro
    Commented on this photo:

    FLICK!

  19. Reese Witherspoon Cleavage MET Gala
    JW
    Commented on this photo:

    Pregnant, definitely pregnant…

  20. Olivia Munn Cleavage MET Gala
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    I just have a feeling she’s not going to age well.

  21. Elizabeth Olsen Nipples Legs Minidress MET Gala
    brick
    Commented on this photo:

    “No question, after that short program, I’ve got the gold medal in the bag…bitches!”

  22. Selena Gomez Cleavage MET Gala
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    Looks good, but the maple taint is still on her.

  23. Johnny Depp Amber Heard MET Gala
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    Spats? Really?

  24. Elizabeth Olsen Nipples Legs Minidress MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    She has a really beautiful face. In all seriousness.

  25. Emma Stone Andrew Garfield MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    I almost expect that bow tie to start comically spinning.

  26. Selena Gomez Cleavage MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Not what I expected when I prayed to see Selena Gomez wrist-deep in some muff.

  27. Johnny Depp Amber Heard MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Great! Hercule Poirot, right? What now? What do you mean, “This wasn’t a costume party”?

  28. Reese Witherspoon Cleavage MET Gala
    rubbydubby
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice huge forehead. Looks like a drag queen.

  29. Selena Gomez Cleavage MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    overrated

  30. Rihanna No Bra Nipples MET Gala
    The Mapes Hotel
    Commented on this photo:

    Thought she heard Chris Brown coming.

  31. Johnny Depp Amber Heard MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Her uberhotness is wasted on this douche

  32. Jessica Alba Cleavage MET Gala
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    Not a good picture of her. She normally looks far better than this.

  33. Blake Lively Cleavage Ryan Reynolds MET Gala
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    “One in the stink? Here?!”

  34. Elizabeth Olsen Nipples Legs Minidress MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I liked the original Hawk and Dove better.

  35. Selena Gomez Cleavage MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “I touched her muff! OMG I FEEL JUST LIKE JUSTIN!!!! SQUEEEE!!!!!”

  36. Reese Witherspoon Cleavage MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Has Katy Perry’s chin always been this pointy?

  37. Emma Stone MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “…or, you could just put together a tank top and a sheet and go anyway.”

  38. Amber Heard MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess changing from a lesbian was just the first step. Depp’s not going to be happy until she’s the alien chick from “Mars Attacks!”

  39. Taylor Swift MET Gala
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    She looks hot

  40. Olivia Munn Cleavage MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “And right here’s where you park your shrimp boat.”

  41. Emma Stone Andrew Garfield MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Quit giving all the dorky guys hope, Emma. Let those fuckers stew in the Friend Zone.

  42. Amber Heard MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Heh. My tablecloth has that exact same pat– hey, where’s my tablecloth??

  43. Johnny Depp Amber Heard MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “Johnny dearest, I saw Olivia Munn’s breasts and felt like I was awakening from the strangest dream.”

    “Hahahaha! What a queer fancy, my pet!” *chloroform*

  44. Elizabeth Olsen Nipples Legs Minidress MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see that at least one of the Olsen girls looks beautiful and healthy.

  45. Selena Gomez Cleavage MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    That dude in the background is using his I Wanna Be a Paparazzo: Beginner’s Set.

  46. Olivia Munn Cleavage MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    You guys can have Coco, I’ll take her. That’s fair, right?

  47. Rihanna No Bra Nipples MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s one gal who really cleans up well.

  48. Olivia Munn Cleavage MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like unpeeling a banana.

  49. Elizabeth Olsen Nipples Legs Minidress MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Two comments and no one’s mentioned the nipples yet?!?

  50. Jessica Alba Cleavage MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    I see a generic Rose Byrne / JLo combo in an ill-fitting dress, not the hot girl from Dark Angel.

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