Men’s Rights Activists Think Their ‘Star Wars’ Boycott Actually Worked
It’s a great time to be alive and casually observing things on the Internet right now. Especially if one of the things on your radar is the temper tantrums white neckbeards are throwing over the perceived loss of some kind of mythical “way things were” that they’ve cooked up in their minds as a result of romantic rejection, social ignorance, and general laziness of thought. One of those groups is a bunch of heavily armed, threat-spouting manbabies staging a “peaceful protest” over their “rights” to use federally owned property however they see fit. The other is a group called Return of Kings. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! These self-appointed monarchs bravely ride against the idea that women and minorities should be included in sci-fi movies and video games. So, they’re valiant heroes is what I’m getting at. Return of Kings is now claiming they’ve cost The Force Awakens box office upwards of $4 million dollars as a result of their boycott in the following blog post that’s too hilarious for me not to fully copy and translate for you below. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.
Fifty-five percent of respondents to a Return of Kings Twitter poll have said that online reporting of the social justice nature of The Force Awakens influenced their decision whether to see the film. Extended across our readership, with over 900,000 users accessing ROK between November 21 and December 21, this amounts to a potential direct impact of $4,219,456.54 (55% x $8.38 x 915,482) on total revenues. $8.38 is based on the average cinema ticket price in the US, which is now an all-time high.
Translation: We’re as confident in these numbers as we are in our Ashley Madison profiles. So many hot, horny wives just waiting to cheat on their weak SJW husbands with us.
This figure does not include those men who haven’t visited in the past month but know to stay clear away from Hollywood propaganda films thanks to our previous reporting. They have been learning to question the narrative of popular culture, and many would have done so without reading ROK‘s recent commentary concerning The Force Awakens. The $4.2 million estimate also does not include future sales that will be surely lost from Star Wars DVD’s, collectibles, and other promotional tie-ins.
Translation: Remember that fake number we made up? There’s an even larger fake number we couldn’t calculate because some of our regular readers forgot to check in with us while they were ruining the holidays for their families.
My review of the Star Wars sequel was not this site’s only take on this year’s über-SJW film release. Guest contributor Inigo Montoya also opined about its non-white and female agenda. Whilst ROK regards itself as a unique media outlet, we are not the only positive source of non-mainstream news, self-improvement advice, and cultural commentary. What happens when we add together the reach of Breitbart, The Daily Caller, Gotnews.com and a host of other sources with our own?
Translation: Think I’m a lone racist, sexist asshole just pissing in the wind here? Nope. There’s a whole section of the Internet for us!
SJWs and their sycophants can speculate all they wish about the veracity of the $4.2 million figure for ROK, but the fact remains that total revenues for The Force Awakens have been lowered in demonstrable terms by our balanced, critical reporting and those of our common sense allies. A fair estimate when all this alternative commentary is combined would be in the tens of millions of dollars.
Translation: Now we’re up to tens of millions of dollars, which we arrived at using our version of mathematics we’ve been using ever since the leftist elite activated their sleeper jew, Einstein.
SJWs, including long-time critics of ROK, have been quick in trying to mock calls to boycott The Force Awakens. They argue the money the film has already made and will make before it leaves cinemas points to a “failure.” But is this really what they are saying it is? With hundreds and sometimes thousands of employees, large media conglomerates are able to saturate the airwaves, printed pages, and websites with fawning praise of The Force Awakens‘ feminist undertones. Possessing much smaller numbers of contributors and without the financial largesse of media tycoons or corporations, the manosphere and other voices have nevertheless successfully and markedly chipped away at the revenues of the film.
Translation: Stop laughing when we say “manosphere!” The manoshpere is real and there’s no slutty girls allowed!
For those of you still wanting to laugh at such a proposition, remind yourselves that the world we live in is more populated, wealthier (due to technology and connectedness), and English-speaking than in the past. Film companies also flood consumers’ minds with exhortations to watch their works in ways unheard of in the past. Because of this, even Avatar, the second most successful film of all time after inflation (and significantly due to more expensive 3D tickets), is an underachievement compared to far less marketed earlier films released in the “smaller” world of old. Many more people were able to watch it and it failed to really streak away from its predecessors. Likewise, relative to 2015, The Force Awakens will not be the financially spellbinding piece of cinema it is being made out as.
Translation: Ah, Gone With The Wind, now that was a representative piece of American cinema that we can get behind.
Avatar, which SJWs pilloried as perpetuating “white messiah” syndrome, where a Caucasian appropriates an indigenous culture and then ironically saves them from fellow Caucasians, still made over $2 billion at the box office. So if leftists equate box office success—albeit success which is artificially inflated by a larger world—with being in the “right,” their logic needs some serious fine-tuning. By that standard, is the Transformers series a cultural and moral masterpiece because it made billions in ticket sales?
Translation: Did we just disprove our entire assertion by claiming that The Force Awakens’ success will dwarf both Avatar and Transformers? It’s cool, Kings say dumb shit all the time and everyone has to believe it or die, you know, like the way things run in Utopian societies of yonder.
Compared, ironically, to the Rebel Alliance or Resistance, operating with less sophisticated equipment and a small number of audacious political pilots, ROK and its friends continue to strike blows against the bloated mass of SJW rhetoric. Even as SJWs meticulously use methods of doxing and attempting to get people firedto discourage free speech against their positions, their lies continue to be challenged (Thunderf00t, we salute you).
Translation: Pew pew! Pew pew! *yells from behind couch cusions* Mom, more pizza rolls!!
Multibillion-dollar film companies may acquiesce to SJW cravings, releasing films that don’t offend real or fictitious groups that include women, minorities, and hairier-than-usual Wookies. Yet the proponents of constant political agendas convince themselves they succeed through their grit and skill alone. When their millionaire and billionaire patrons are stripped from them, what are they left with?
The release of The Force Awakens will only increase the esteem in which our contrarian reporting is held. And many more men will act on similar advice of ours going forward.
Translation: We fully admit that as a group, we angry, white men are fading from relevance both in the eyes of business and politics, but that doesn’t mean we won’t go down kicking and screaming like a three-year-old who won’t share his blocks.