Mena Suvari has a butt, who knew?

April 3rd, 2008 // 147 Comments

Mena Suvari (American Beauty) is enjoying a vacation in Miami with her boyfriend Simone Sestito (Eh?). I’m puzzled as just to where in the hell Mena got that ass from. I thought she was a midget. Does she live under power lines or something? Or, no, I got it: She was bitten by a radioactive Kim Kardashian. Yes, of course, that seems more likely. *strokes beard* I should be a doctor. Wait, I don’t have a beard oh God Cindy I’m sorry. Uh, how’s my favorite HR gal doing today? Still competing in the lumberjack games I’m getting sued aren’t I? Fantastic.


  1. Ript1&0

    I’m taking shit for this hardcore at home too.

  2. tony t

    do you retards who go to this site everyday help make this website $2.16 million a year just from MTV alone?

    that is why al queda hates us. i need to start a gossip blog.

  3. Ken

    You guys are forgetting that she has a huge fivehead

  4. Rule of Thumb

    Flat chest = round ass

  5. Vivi

    You seem to be confused. She always had an ass. However, she has never had breasts.

  6. No Greek Asses for Me


    Hmm… All Greek women I’ve met have flat asses. And when they are fat, the asses are just pancakes.

    Mena must not be pure Greek.

  7. It will backfire

    These pictures look like Mena is desperately trying to make an ex-boyfriend jealous. The problem is that she comes off like wasted, washed-up trash, who has to pay a tiny Mexican gigolo to have sex with her.

  8. anyone who hangs out with MS 13 gang bangers must be a total loser.

  9. FYI

    MS 13 is actually from El Salvador

  10. martino

    Pink dyed her hair blonde.


    Your time is up.

  12. Randal

    This is what I’m going to bed to? See, now this garbage is enough to make me mad around here.

    What in the world is up with this guy holding his shorts like a skirt in picture #8 as the bubbling waves come crashing around him and he attempts to tiptoe gently over the sandy bottom? This guy’s trying to walk the walk like KFed and ain’t no one in the hood who’s good enough to do that.



  13. Derek

    She gives me man cramps.

  14. justtheobvious

    Mena Suvari is one of the hottest young women in Hollywood.. I’m so glad she loves her ass too. I sure do.

  15. James

    She’s looking very sexy. Her convict looking boyfriend is a very lucky dude.

  16. Dude’s probably going commando under his Bermudas and can’t deal with the motion.

  17. edgar suit

    small talent and dooshbag frolic on beach……

  18. peter

    Thats a nice bumper. She is a bit cankl-y though.

  19. Stoll

    Decent ass, everything else is wrecked. She is not going to age well, if she lives long enough to age.

  20. Anal Fistula

    #11 and #70 just dominated the scene here! that dude is a tool and mena is totally beat.

  21. Holy Molly, I was just checking close ups of that tat on in between her boobs and it is a tat of the #13. Is she in the MS 13 too. This is real news.

  22. Holy Molly, I was just checking close ups of that tat on in between her boobs and it is a tat of the #13. Is she in the MS 13 too. This is real news.

  23. Mena Suvari in MUS 13. the main stream media is going to be all over this.

  24. I want what’s in that thong. But even more, I WANT what’s in that hand.

  25. Meeegan

    Are you sure the 13 doesn’t stand for the white supremacist group Aryan Circle?

  26. Mark B

    I thought I saw that dude in front of Home Depot the other day when I was picking up some drywall. Was going to hire him, but he looked sketchy…

  27. Sally

    this guy is Canadian and hangs out at bars in Toronto. Ive talked to him a couple times.
    So random…


    She is very short.

    The guy is even shorter. If I were him I would wear high heels and get a stick-up afro going.

    At the very least, I would jump up and down alot.

  29. Bel

    So how short is HE?!? He’s barely an inch taller than her and she’s practically elven.

  30. sexydana

    That man is sooooooo fucking fine!!!!! oooh lord just give me five minutes with him i would tear his ass up!!!

  31. the guy is so horny!

  32. clubbing douchebags

    #15 Randall

    the girl is neither fat nor obese you moron. not like she’d give it to you anyways. so just shut the fuck up & keep giving sweet love to your hand in your mom’s basement.

  33. sweetz

    she needs to do some ab crunches

  34. Jack8803

    I’d say she’s a 6, 6 1/2 — maybe a 7 if she cut her head off and tossed it in the ocean.

  35. isitin

    Looks like they allowed the mighty midgets on the beach. She is 5′ 4″ & taller than the guy. He must be 5′ 2″. Well they might pass for children’s admission to the movies.

  36. gus

    With those tattoos and that hair she looks like trash.

  37. SouthAfricanBeauty

    Yup, she looks like crap, there is no other valid opinion for this. She was so dreamy in American Beauty witht hat long wavy hair (stop it) but now, yuk. She looks like a pre-pubescent boy. She needs to buy some boobs and a few doses of oestrogen!

  38. 2Silo2

    Just one more reason to furiously masterbate today! Any guy on here who denies stroking a load over these photos is lying!

  39. A-COD

    Very interesting. I have not heard Mena Suvari’s name in years, yet coincidently the week she has a movie released (straight to video but whatever) bikini pictures of her show up on the internet. If I was more cynical, I would say this is a publicist’s stunt. Now nobody enjoyed those butt cheek shots more than me, but let’s be very clear that they are being brought to you courtesy of the Day of the Dead’s marketing department. Thanks Zombies!

  40. deacon jones

    Great fucking reference out of left field! Love’d that movie

  41. deacon jones

    And as to Mena’s attractiveness, two thumbs down. That ass and thick thighs will be a frigging mess in 5 years, and she looks like a blowfish with those bulging eyes when she’s not wearing shades

  42. Victoria

    She is putting those other 2 birds to shame with her ass. I’ll be working twice as hard at the gym today.

  43. P Teutty

    I’ll tell you how she got it. It was a package deal with those gigantic legs and cankles.

  44. havoc

    Decent butt.

    But the cottage cheese thighs and cankles ruin it.



  45. barge

    At least none of you half-wits asked if she was pregnant.

  46. she is making gang signs in picture 9. How weird is that?

  47. Gravy

    So, Mera is an obese, cankly, Hispanic gang member. Who may or may not be pregnant.

    I’m glad I read all these awesome comments, I just thought she was kinda cute. Thanks for setting me straight.

  48. me

    Yes, She got a nice butt, but why is she with the dude with the jock itch

  49. Grunion

    Too bad she she ordered the douche attachment with that ass.

  50. FACE

    This is why blacks like white ass.

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