Mena Suvari (American Beauty) is enjoying a vacation in Miami with her boyfriend Simone Sestito (Eh?). I’m puzzled as just to where in the hell Mena got that ass from. I thought she was a midget. Does she live under power lines or something? Or, no, I got it: She was bitten by a radioactive Kim Kardashian. Yes, of course, that seems more likely. *strokes beard* I should be a doctor. Wait, I don’t have a beard oh God Cindy I’m sorry. Uh, how’s my favorite HR gal doing today? Still competing in the lumberjack games I’m getting sued aren’t I? Fantastic.
Photos: Bauer-Griffin
ah-choo | April 3, 2008 at 5:12 pm
apparently he has crabs.
MassGrrl | April 3, 2008 at 5:12 pm
A butt, bad hair, and a skanky tattoo.
Cthulha | April 3, 2008 at 5:13 pm
yeah, but what a great butt!
billy | April 3, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Shwing!!!
Kevin Spacey | April 3, 2008 at 5:13 pm
who the feck is this little micro mini pimp with gay tats??
Quinn | April 3, 2008 at 5:14 pm
He looks horney or itchy
Sambo the Ass Pirate | April 3, 2008 at 5:14 pm
judging from her boyfriend, i’d say the water is cold.
FRIST!!! | April 3, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Which one is she again??
jesus will smite you | April 3, 2008 at 5:15 pm
i think i see camel toe.
Sambo the Ass Pirate | April 3, 2008 at 5:18 pm
and with that posture, she looks like she’s trying to get adopted by angelina jolie.
Clem | April 3, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Board Shorts? Check
Belt? Check
Underwear? Check
Stupid watch? Check
Great! Let’s hit the water!
Abdo | April 3, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Who the hell Is Mena Suvari??
Who cares if she has a kim’s ass or even a trunk in her backside??
Ted Mosby | April 3, 2008 at 5:19 pm
I’ve hit that. Smells like Kevin Spacey.
My Penis | April 3, 2008 at 5:22 pm
NICE! If you can get past the cellulite, cankles, back fat, and lack of breasts. Well done Bro, you must be as stoked as these pictures show you to be.
Randall | April 3, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Look at the cellulite on these cows. Mooooo-ve on and let a real girl wear the bikini’s, you fucking heffers. Those thighs look like an unevenly filled bean bag. Real men like small taut legs, not chubbostumps like these. Fucking obesity in America makes me sick!
Bones for boning, fat for failing.
hollywood_hillbilly | April 3, 2008 at 5:23 pm
That motherfucker better keep his shirt on if he sets foot in east los. Surenos will peel that 13 right off his midget ass.
FRIST!!! | April 3, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Is she the one from American Beauty or Ghost World?
ObligingAnonymous | April 3, 2008 at 5:30 pm
wow. gorgeous ass. (is big ass the new black?)
but the fact that she actual fucks that douche bag is a major a turn off. this girl was in a classy oscar-winning film, when did she turn into a white trash pseudo-hoodrat?
AnalGlory | April 3, 2008 at 5:33 pm
She needs to lose the dyke hair and squat on my face. I’d lick that corn hole until the sun burns out.
will | April 3, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Fish, you are getting fucking lame.
ivan | April 3, 2008 at 5:36 pm
she’s not all that. I dont like her face!
lil ol me | April 3, 2008 at 5:36 pm
frist, its the one from american beauty
Jimbo | April 3, 2008 at 5:39 pm
She has an incidental ass. It happens to look good, in a naturally full and not particularly toned way, on her otherwise nasty body. It’s like when a good red tomato ripens on a sickly looking plant. In other words, bone her in the ass and then bury her in the backyard.
jeremiah | April 3, 2008 at 5:40 pm
She needs breast implants, not ass enlargement!
Randy | April 3, 2008 at 5:40 pm
I knew she had an awesome ass a few yrs ago, I even wrote this site telling them but nobody listened. I saw her in a bikini and he ass just jumped out.
T | April 3, 2008 at 5:48 pm
How is everyone missing the CANKLES? Absolute deal breaker.
Ben Hur | April 3, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Squatter’s butt.
Kingsley Amis | April 3, 2008 at 5:49 pm
She’s a 14-year old boy. And her friends are in sloppy shape. That said, little Suavecito her boyfriend is gonna be in some nasty 4-way. Right on.
Binx | April 3, 2008 at 5:51 pm
It looks like she is preparing for her role in the re-release of “The Legend of Billie Jean”! When you’re seventeen, people think they can do anything to you. Billie Jean is about to prove them wrong.
WooHooo
kttylvr | April 3, 2008 at 5:52 pm
looks like she borrowed some ass from those other ladies
antoine | April 3, 2008 at 5:52 pm
With an ass like that, it’s a shame she can’t find a better man than that!
poop | April 3, 2008 at 5:55 pm
She wears all her weight in her legs.
Harry Ballzack | April 3, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Not as scrumptuous as Kate Hudsons – but good enough
Her friend needs to give his big brother back his shorts though and buy his own. I’ve often wondered if all these itchy-scratchy boys walking around holding their dick – is it because they have a bad case of The Crabs ? Or some other STD ? Or is it because they just can’t talk without playing with their pecker ?
Really creeps me out ………………
ally | April 3, 2008 at 6:05 pm
isnt his tattoo “13″ from the MS 13? that mexican gang?
Trover | April 3, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Eh. She hasn’t been interesting for about 7 years. No sex tape, no drug arrests, no DUIs, no good films, no reason to care. And she is not even cute anymore.
Orange | April 3, 2008 at 6:09 pm
In my opinion from the waist up she’s an 8, small chest but pretty well toned.
From the waist down shes a 6, nice butt but just a bit heavy with no definition.
SmokingGirl | April 3, 2008 at 6:10 pm
The term “obese” is being thrown around rather absent-mindedly these days. This woman is not obese, and yes, there are different body types out there. For fuck’s sake.
Granted, I don’t like her as an actress and I couldn’t care one wit about her as a human being, but for goodness sake. Just because someone doesn’t have the body of a runway model doesn’t mean that they are now obese or even fat. *sigh*
Alright, I’m done. Prattle on as you deem fit.
cofused but not really | April 3, 2008 at 6:23 pm
I saw her on 2 girls and 1 cup as a special guest
pointandlaugh | April 3, 2008 at 6:30 pm
#5 LOLOL I was wondering the same
Jose | April 3, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Now she is a really hot woman!!! forgotten about American Beauty!!!
marme | April 3, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I dunno I think they look pretty good…they make a cute couple.
BloeME | April 3, 2008 at 6:43 pm
It’s American Pie girl – fuck why say American Beauty when you can mention the much more popular movie?! Let’s make this as hard as possible…
It’s Heather….
angela | April 3, 2008 at 6:43 pm
wow she looks gooooooood
combustion8 | April 3, 2008 at 6:44 pm
I wanna be friends with it.
Harry | April 3, 2008 at 6:49 pm
I guess she dumped that 50 year old camera guy she was married to. Wasn’t this chick suppose to be the next big thing?
Liz | April 3, 2008 at 6:51 pm
She’s Greek…they always have full round butts…dah.
Ted from LA | April 3, 2008 at 6:59 pm
#46,
But Liz, don’t they always eat Greek salads? For the record, I see nothing wrong with her. Cute. Cute body. Next.
weirdo | April 3, 2008 at 7:06 pm
I think she’s kinda gross but I’d still bury my face in her stinky crack!
Flavio | April 3, 2008 at 7:12 pm
in pic 10, mmmm. that thing looks nice! i mean, she’s no kate hudson, but still, nice ass.
Danklin24 | April 3, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Her face is a mess but what an ass.