Mena Suvari’s Ex-Husband Wants Spousal Support
For two whole years Mena Suvari’s unemployed ex-husband Simone Sestito got to have sex with her impossibly large chipmunk butt that by all rights should cause her to topple over every time she walks, so why wouldn’t he think that should earn him $17,000/month in spousal support? He practically did her a favor. TMZ reports:
According to court docs filed earlier this week, Simone Sestito claims he has “negative balances” on all his personal and business accounts and has been forced to pay his bills with credit cards and loans from his parents.
Sestito claims Mena makes $750,000/year, which includes a terrible Captain Morgan ad campaign she did that netted her $225,000.
Sestito claims he got used to eating out “almost everyday at high end restaurants” and lists his estimated monthly eating out expense as a whopping $3,000/month. A Happy Meal every once in a while wouldn’t hurt!
Sestito is looking for $17,151/month in spousal support, plus an additional $10k for attorney fees.
DAD: You owe how much to the bank?! Jesus, what were you doing all those years?
SIMONE: Well, I did make this really big hamster wheel for Mena to run on that could theoretically power a whole house, but then I mostly just started having sex with her big butt on it.
DAD: Oh, well, that’s understandable. Will fifty thousand do?
(Good dads listen.)