Melissa Joan Hart still alive, popping out babies

March 13th, 2008 // 45 Comments

Apparently Melissa Joan Hart gave birth to a baby boy named Braydon yesterday. It’s the second child for her and her husband Bruce Babymaker. But Melissa wasn’t entirely thrilled at the beginning of the pregnancy. But not for cool reasons like it was an alien or she found out her husband was secretly an ax murderer. Ok! Magazine reports:

Although the couple had planned on having another baby, Braydon came a little sooner than imagined and the 31-year-old former Sabrina, the Teenage Witch star admitted she wasn’t completely excited when she learned of her pregnancy at first.
“I was thinking I won’t get to snowboard this season, and now I gotta fight the weight thing again, the indigestion and the feet hurting,” she said.

So when Clarissa was explaining it all she was really talking about birth control. This puts the show in a whole new light. Like when Sam would come crawling through the window he best be packing a rubber or else he’ll get waterboarded by Clarissa’s little Republican brother Ferguson. Damn, that’s some topical stuff for a show that follows “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” I won’t even get to the racial contexts on that one.

NOTE: My apologies to anyone who didn’t watch Nickelodeon during the ’90s. I want to say there’s a light at the end of tunnel but there’s not. There is, however, an Arby’s.

Photos: Getty Images
superficial

  1. Snarf

    This article made me shoove pizza in my shoes :(

  2. Henry

    I wish I cared enough about these people to drown their babies.

  3. surlywench

    I don’t even know who they are, but the guy is HOT.

    How the heck did that flabby, double-chinned woman land him?

  4. Gerald_Tarrant

    Mmmmmm, Beef&Cheddar.

    This chick gets uglier as the years go. She is not aging well at all. She will be destined to Lifetime TV movies for the rest of her “career”.

  5. Awe it’s the original; blonde wonky eye and she’s mated. Good for her.
    I remember when Melissa Joan Hart was on Maxim and she bragged that the magazines sold the most copies ever or sumthin and I was like ya fuck it did biatch they airbrushed the mighty fuck out of you and turned you into a freaking goddess. They did the best airbrushing I’ve ever seen in MY LIFE for her cover (bye bye wonkey eye) even people who knew who she was didn’t recognize her. Anyway she’s a hasbeen or a neverwas and sans airbrushing she’s very very meh.

    NEXT.

    oh here’s the mag (or click ma name)

    http://cgi.ebay.ca/MAXIM-MAGAZINE-October-1999-**Melissa-Joan-Hart**_W0QQitemZ110227476279QQcmdZViewItem#ebayphotohosting

  6. Harry

    Airbrushed or no, those Maxim pics were probably the best ever in that mag, and that’s saying something. I never she was as hot as that before or after. This is what happens when women get pregnant!

  7. aja

    She is a fat ugly pig, always was. But now, forget it!

    Imagine her stretched out twat, monstrous stretch marks, and hanging udders?

    The hubby is cute, why the fuck is he with this hog?

    Disgusting how women breed.

  8. Pootie

    FIRST!!!!

  9. Andy

    She married him because she knew she’d be crapping out kids and she wanted them to have tiny heads. Seriously, look at his head – it’s narrower than his neck. Fatty and the Pinhead. Maybe that’s her next show.

  10. #6. Um not really I mean she looked good comapred to the dorkiness she is but, she was wearing black granny panties and an unflattering bra (saggy no plump round cleavage). Even with airbrushing she wasn’t in fantastic shape(bit of a gut) and her boobs were average. She didn’t look any better than old Britney, kinda siller actually. to each their own though.

    I have tried posting the pics but, I don’t know if the link will work.

    http://www.moneyshotmovies.com/celeb/melissajoanhart/w3378c6e.html

  11. mike

    @7 It sounds like you have some personal experience with “stretched out twat”, monstrous stretch marks and hanging udders”.

    Is your hubby asking the same questions?

  12. peeps

    *similar and other duly noted spelling errors.

  13. D. Richards

    I saw Melissa at a Starbucks in Hollywood once. She was sitting with some guy and they were talking about ‘work.’

    The thing that was most peculiar was that Melissa was literally inhaling frappaccinos . Venti, after venti — sluuurrrrppp! — down her throat. She was eating an entire coconut cake too. The scene was fucking bizarre.

    Everyone was stunned. We just stared right at Melissa; she seemed to not even notice our presence. She was fixated on her frappaccinos and cake.

  14. why?

    Why does every pregnant fucker always have to take a picture holding her stomach? Yes we know your budah belly is there you fat fuck

  15. The Laughing God

    I remember this check, and her show, she was alright. Good to see she came out of kid stardoom, unscathed.

  16. Jericho

    I’m with you, Peeps…No way that biatch ever looked that good on her own!

  17. jilly

    Yesss… awesome ’90s Nickelodeon references!!

  18. Kimberly

    I remember Clarissa Explains it All!

  19. Spongebob Gangsta

    Na na nana nana
    Nana na na na naaaaaaa!!
    Alright alright.

  20. e-ran

    haha! I totally remember these shows. Clarissa, Are You Afraid of the Dark and Salute Your Shorts were effing amazing! Thanks for the walk down memory lane

  21. Ted Mosby

    She’d be hot if she didn’t have the wonky eye.

  22. Digicom

    It’s all in the genes. I could look once at a young female star and tell you whether or not she is going to pork out in a real hurry. Melissa, Britney and so on, they are doomed. Watch out Hayden, its headed your way too.

  23. Liv

    Yay! Clarissa Explains It All and her 10 costume changes per episode.

    Wow, I forgot about her friend Sam but totally remember Ferguson.

  24. stephanie

    I wish I could be in the Midnight Society.

    Did anyone see that Handcuff movie with Clarissa and AC Slater on ABC Family? Very weird.

  25. Oh, my god; I love you, Superficial Writer.

  26. jamaicancablerocks

    HAHAHAHAHA Thanks so much for that throwback, NICKELODEAN WAS THE SHIT IN THE 90′S!,

  27. Tiago

    I think she looks beautiful, obviously chubby because of the pregnancy, but has a nice glow in her face :)

  28. Her comment clarifies the celebrity attitude towards their kids. “Bummer, I couldn’t snowboard. I had to bring this life into the world and take care of the other one I already had instead.

    It’s called being an adult. Deal with it.

  29. agree

    Good for them. But I saw his profile on millionaire&celeb dating “W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m last week. It seems he can’t wait to meet new love online now.

  30. disgusted

    Wow the last 29 comments were enough to make me not want to visit this site ever again based on the level of intelligence and lack of common decency seen. In fact I dont want people to ever know I was here and associated with such shallow, low brow, judgemental and unjustifed hatred. F uc k you people are so weak.

  31. nicole

    that maxim photo looks more like alicia silverstone than MJH. MJH never looked that good.

  32. IWONKY

    #30, isn’t this is just like that time you “accidentally” walked into that gay bar…remember?…You put on the most horrified look of scorn you could make when not one guy showed you any interest and faked suddenly realizing that you were in a gay bar and swore never to return, except you left your wallet with the fake ID on the counter. You’ll be back.

  33. Skeps

    Y’all can disagree with me, but I think she’s even hotter as a prego than she was before, and she was a whole bucket of blond cuteness back on Sabrina.

  34. lily

    Nice couple. I think she can date someone better or hotter. So it’s not surprised to see her profile on ‘millionaire4me.com’. She has hot pics, nice videos and good blog there.

  35. hey now

    Wow her hubbie is a hottie. Very very handsome. Lucky girl. She’s a cutie.

  36. poo poo mcgoo

    mmm roast beef burger with curly fries gotta love arby’s it rocks out with its cocks out

  37. Lisa

    WOW!!! U just took me down memory lane! I remember salute ur shorts, pete and pete, r u afraid of the dark?, clarissa! I feel old. :D But other then that I’m happy for the couple and they new baby.

  38. Racer X

    I’d still hit.

  39. I watched Nickelodeon in the 90s! Remember Hey Dude? Are those people still alive, too?

  40. trixie jones

    damn that guy looks like he’s packin… i wanna make babies with him, too

  41. skibum21

    So thats why I didnt see her this winter.. She and her tall-ass man usually sneak their way into the Starbucks I manage here in Incline Village, NV in Tahoe. I’d be scared to see her on a snowboard though…. yikes..

  42. Potato Dogstench

    31? No fucking way. She was 26 like ten years ago. Anyway, her shows were chodes, and her hubbie is way too good looking to hang around the giant average potato woman. I mean, seriously, she is not attractive. She was borerline in the past, get real. She had hotter friends on the show, and she had nice legs, but she’s got that school-marmy control thing going. I find her utterly unscreweable.

  43. DOMINGO 8 DE JUNIO 2008:
    RUBIA DE OJOS AZULES; QUIERO VERTE CONMIGO:
    MALDITA BRUJA, NO VALES VERGA, NO SIRVES PARATODO, YO TE ANDO COJIENDO, ME MAMAS LA VERGA TE METO MI VERGA DURA POR LA PANOCHA MALDITA MUJER, NO VALES VERG, NO SIRVES PARA TODO, YO TE ANDO COJIENDO, ME MAMAS LA VERGA, NO SIRVES PARA TODO, NO VALES VERGA, MALDITA MUJER, PINCHE BRUJA, PORQUERIA, BASURA, ESCORIA, EXCREMENTO, MIERDA……………………………………………………………….
    NO VALES VERGA, NO SIRVES PARA TODO, YO TE ANDO COJIENDO, ME MAMAS LA VERGA, PINCHE BRUJA, MALDITA MUJER MIERDA, NO VALES VERGA, NO SIRVES PARA TODO, TONTA, PUTA, PERRA, GATA, LESBIANA, MARIGUANA………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    YO TE ANDO COJIENDO, NO VALES VERGA, NO SIRVES PARA TODO, ME MAMAS LA VERGA, PINCHE BRUJA, NO VALES VERGA, ME MAMAS LA VERGA, MALDITA MUJER MIERDA, ME MAMAS LA VERGA, NO VALES VERGA, NO SIRVES PARA TODO, YO TE ANDO COJIENDO, ME MAMAS LA VERGA, PORQUERIA, BASURA, MIERDA, TONTA, YO TE ANDO COJIENDO, ME MAMAS LA VERGA, NO SIRVES PARA TODO, ………………………………………………………………
    JAIME ENRIQUE JUAREZ PEREZ:
    CALLE; JOSE JUSTO CORRO S / N.
    COLONIA; VENUSTIANO CARRANZA.
    PANUCO, VERACRUZ, MEXICO.

  44. MARTES 10 DE JUNIO 2008:
    RUBIA DE OJOS AZULES; QUIERO VERTE CONMIGO:
    MALDITA BRUJA MIERDA, NO VALES VERGA, NO SIRVES PARA TODO, YO TE ANDO COJIENDO, ME MAMAS LA VERGA, PINCHE BRUJA, MALDITA MIERDA, NO VALES VERGA, NO SIRVES PARA TODO, MALDITA MUJER, PINCHE MARIGUANA, GOLFA, PUTA, PERRA, GATA, NO VALES VERGA, NO SIRVES PARA TODO, YO TE ANDO COJIENDO, ME MAMAS LA VERGA, PINCHE BRUJA, MALDITA MIERDA, BRUJA MIERDA, NO VALES VERGA, NO SIRVES PARA TODO, YO TE ANDO COJIENDO,ME MAMAS LA VERGA,PINCHE MUJER,MALDITA BRUJA, YO TE ANDO COJIENDO, NO VALES VERGA, NO SIRVES PARA TODO, ME MAMAS LA VERGA……………………………………………………….
    JAIME ENRIQUE JUAREZ PEREZ:
    CALLE: JOSE JUSTO CORRO S / N.
    COLONIA: VENUSTIANO CARRANZA.
    PANUCO, VERACRUZ, MEXICO.

  45. Elle

    Seriously, why are you people all so hateful? Have you seriously nothing better to do than make disgusting comments about a person that you don’t even know? The comments about her having children are absolutely awful. Get a life and grow up. I’d love to see what the same people judging her would have to say about any one of you if you were put in the spot light and torn apart just for entertainment purposes.

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