Melissa Joan Hart in a bikini

May 27th, 2009 // 67 Comments

Melissa Joan Hart shows off her new bikini body in the latest issue of People magazine and hopes it’ll silence her critcs:

“Everyone still thinks I’m huge,” says Hart, 33, whose post-pregnancy body was the subject of cruel Internet attacks after she gave birth to sons Mason, 3, and Braydon, 14 months, with husband, Course of Nature lead singer Mark Wilkerson, 32. “But I’m not anymore!”
Hart understands the confusion. After all, the public has grown accustomed to seeing celebs get back in their skinny jeans mere weeks after giving birth. “There are enormous pressures put on you in Hollywood,” she says.

Yeah, Melissa Joan Hart, you tell that crazy Hollywood system. Nothing will show those jerks like posing in an airbrushed bikini photo on the cover of the largest circulated magazine out there thus perpetuating the same pressure that you yourself fell victim to. Well played.

Photo: People

  1. Peyoo


  2. Hash


  3. Kirsty Alley


  4. Oh how brave? what does she wants a medal?

  5. Funeral Guy

    I’d tap it now, but if she looked like that porker in the corner once, she could do it again. Get ready to run.

  6. Ice man

    I wouldnt care if she was a fatty i’d hit it all the time every time

  7. Valerie

    Her husband is HOT.

  8. devilsrain

    This is the chick with the lazy eye right? Pass

  9. Danklin24

    “I dont have to be heavy just because i have kid?

    That might be the dumbest statement ever uttered.

  10. Jim

    from fat and flat > to flat

  11. Danklin24

    Yeah she didn’t get that creepy lazy eye fixed. That should’ve come before the tummy tuck

  12. Binky

    I guess being a teenage witch isn’t all it’s cracked up to be – at some point you have to stop eating everything you see.
    (Time to file my Eat Like a Warlock book)

  13. crumpet

    -no milk wagons, might as well get fat again

  14. .

    Oh shut the fuck up superficial writer. You saying that is like Hitler calling out racism.

  15. Rhialto

    That’s a body to be proud on! Fit looking body!

  16. SoCalSteve

    The cover should read:

    How I lost 42 lbs!

    Clarissa explains it all.

  17. Galtacticus

    Lots of hot sex keeps the body fit as well!

  18. Paris Hilton

    Hey I just realized, I don’t have to be stick thin just because I’m childless.

  19. Darth

    It isn’t even airbrushed! Still looks good!

  20. Batman

    @ 17

    …yeah…but hot sex isn’t really “hot” when a bitch is 155 lbs.

    …it’s a reason to bleach your dick after you sober up.


  21. Gando

    The most remarkable change is her face! I wouldn’t recognize her!

  22. Deva

    Ok, so she saw a picture of herself and THAT prompted her to lose the weight? What, did all the mirrors in her house just up and dissapear? Or did she eat those too? Her weight losing excuse would be like me becoming any less than the anti-semite I am because I saw pictures of the concentration camps. Point is that neither of these make me less sympathetic.

    Hollywood wouldn’t hire her before. And they sure as shit aren’t going to hire her when she’s a zeppelin. Good job losing the weight. You still look like shit.

  23. takemehomegoogle!

    #21It might not be hot for the guy, but it might be hot for her ; )

  24. What is she talking about? she got hired before that, didnt she appear as that pink dancing pig in that annoying white castle commercial…I could be wrong…

  25. mikeock

    no thanks.

  26. Tired of excuses


  27. takemehomegoogle!

    Why do people care about woman’s bodies so much? Its creepy. Imagine if we were this obsessed with mens bodies. Men would never leave their houses I’m sure.

  28. His Huge Greatness Himself

    That’s one hot looking mama!

  29. friendlyfires

    Wouldn’t it been better if she and her Sabrina co-star Caroline Rhea did Celebrity Biggest Loser?

  30. Eat Me, Cunts

    “…I don’t have to be heavy just because I have kids”

    That’s sure to endear her all those fat fuck, People Magazine reading mommies who have been using the “because had a kid” excuse everyday of their sloppy adult lives.

    Take a lesson every newspaper in the United States that’s trying to stay afloat…THIS is how you sell a publication. Throw your model under a bus and insult your readership. Gotta love it.

  31. Dr McNasty

    I used to whack to this bitch in middle school! I never noticed anything about her eye. I’d SLAY that.

  32. MRC

    I LOVE MJH !

  33. camel_toe

    texas hair=major pukeage

  34. vito

    #28…does that mean it’s OK for me to go outside?

  35. Jeremoyah

    Sorry, but unless that bitch is 4’9″ she doesn’t weigh 113 lbs.

  36. quake

    I heard her labia hang down to her knees.

  37. Walter

    Maybe she will change her mind and finally do Playboy.

  38. She’s right! I thought she was huge until a few seconds ago, and she blamed her children.

    I thought she was nifty until her standard “all skanked up” maneuver in Maxim.

  39. Rena

    You people are all nuts, and obsessed with being crackhead skinny, and it’s mostly a white people thing! She looks ok, she had an AMAZING ASS when she was on Sabrina, I wanted to hit it then, and I’d still love to hit it!!!!!

  40. Rena

    You people are all nuts, and obsessed with being crackhead skinny, and it’s mostly a white people thing! She looks ok, she had an AMAZING ASS when she was on Sabrina, I wanted to hit it then, and I’d still love to hit it!!!!!

  41. C

    Heavy… is a word used to describe bags of rocks.
    FAT.. is a word used to describe how she looked.
    While she was indeed heavy, that weight comprised mostly of FAT.

    She looks fine now. Good for her.

  42. the truth

    Oh yeah, pressure pressure. The pressure couldn’t have been too bad, otherwise you wouldn’t have been fat your entire career, and obese after you had the kids. You know, you would not have been fat in the first place.

    Don’t you mean the pressure of having no fame and needing something to get you back in the headlines? Nothing like a weight loss story. But what a low to stoop to.

    BTW.. we ALL know you are NOT anywhere NEAR 113 lbs. The Olsens are around that weight when they are healthy, and not much smaller when they are anorexic. Anorexics are like 80 or 90lbs. So no way she is 20lbs more. She looks about 155lbs NOW. Way more before.

  43. mikeock

    She looks like every other mom that wears her PJ’s and slippers to walk the kids down to meet the school bus.

    My neighbor’s wife does this, and I swear she crams her PJ’s into her cameltoe just so I can see it. All these semi-hot housewives know they’re 10X hotter than these plastic, boob enhanced Hollywood celebutards.

  44. Where’s the sex tape?

  45. Deacon Jones

    The cover should read:

    “I’m STILL past my prime!”

  46. the rev

    anyone remember her shoot for maxim several years ago? she was pretty hot.

  47. havoc

    Aren’t they just photoshopping her, Valerie Bertinelli, and Marie Osmond’s head on the same body?


  48. fucktard

    yall are gay as hell

  49. jen c

    damned if you do, damned if you don’t. fish says she’s perpetuating the image, but if she wasn’t he’d make fun of her weight. “well played,” fish.

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