Melissa Joan Hart Is Campaigning For Gary Johnson, Of Course

When we last left Melissa Joan Hart, she was complaining about not enough 9/11 during 9/11, yet somehow she’s managed to swerve off of Batshit Conservative Patriot Lane and onto I’m White, Rich And Want To Keep All of My Money, So Fuck You Boulevard because she’s now the Connecticut Chairperson for Gary Johnson’s campaign. PEOPLE reports:

“I want to break away from this two-party system and I think it’s important for people to know that there’s another candidate out there who really toes the line between Democrat and Republican,” says Hart, who has a home in Connecticut. “I mean he’s Libertarian. But socially he’s liberal, but fiscally conservative.”
Johnson, 63, is the former governor of New Mexico – a position he held from 1995 to 2003. He previously ran for president in 2012.
“Governors, I love, because they already ran their state as like a little president,” Hart, 40, says. “So he gets the way, you know, things run. The politics of it all.”

Setting aside the fact that Gary Johnson knows dick about foreign affairs and possibly smoked himself into early senility, Rolling Stone runs down why no one – liberal, conservative, or libertarian – should vote for him because he’s all over the fucking map. In Melissa Joan Hart, star of God Is Not Dead 2’s case, Gary Johnson is pro-life to the point where he supports federal funding for Planned Parenthood, and he wants more Syrian refugees, who in Clarissa’s mind will only do more 9/11, and guess who won’t torture them to find out about the next 9/11? Gary Johnson. On top of all of that, he increased New Mexico’s debt from $1.8 billion to $4.6 billion, which I guess counts as being a “little president.” However, Gary Johnson is against government regulation, and I’m pretty sure that’s a handy position for someone who shills weight-loss products. I mean, we could tax a society to pay for roads and schools, or we can let people bleed out the anus because their diet pills are made out of glass and dead goats. How does one even choose?

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