Clarissa Explains All The Drugs She Did

September 26th, 2013 // 23 Comments
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Samuel L. Jackson wearing a red, white, and blue bucket hat.
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I’ve always just considered Melissa Joan Hart one of the squeaky clean celebrities which probably explains why she’s releasing a book titled Melissa Explains It All about her drug-fueled party days so I’ll look at her in a different light and tell her to leave her husband. It’s so transparent, it’s adorable. Anyway, here she is talking to Life & Style about making out with chicks, and Paris Hilton trying to make her do coke:

“I experimented with weed, Ecstasy, mushrooms and mescaline for about a year and a half,” Melissa admits to the magazine. One of her crazier adventures involved taking Ecstasy at the Playboy Mansion in 1999, making out with a girl in the limo ride home — and then heading to a Maxim photo shoot while still high! “That was my third or fourth time on Ecstasy,” she reveals.
Thankfully, her dabbling never led to addiction. In fact, when Paris Hilton offered her cocaine, she turned her down (a rep for Paris denies the claim). “I was kind of running with a bad crowd,” she explains. In the end, “I just didn’t enjoy taking drugs. I don’t like the loss of control.”

She also reveals she hooked up with Nick Carter, Jerry O’Connell and Ryan Reynolds, according to Too Fab, but then makes up for that by talking about how much she hates Ashton Kutcher and would kick him out of parties:

But not all Hollywood hotties were on her lust list. She twice tried to kick Ashton Kutcher out of her parties for making “smartass remarks.” “Ashton and I just didn’t get along,” she recalls.

…. I have never in my life wanted a woman more than I do right now. Explain it to me, Clarissa, explain it to me all night even if Ferguson’s watching! (This is probably going to start to get weird. Switching to analog. *doodles drawing of self climbing into Melissa Joan Hart’s window ala Sam, makes guitar noises with mouth*)

Photos: Maxim / Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN


  1. mike

    Paris Hilton still has a rep??? Why?

    • JC

      One would think just changing her voicemail message to “I totally didn’t give drugs/diseases or receive drugs/diseases from [insert name here]!” would be sufficient. And a money saver.

  2. Deacon Jones

    Maybe she should resume her coke habit to cut back on the lbs.

    And I take offense to her saying you didnt like drugs. I spent 4 years of my life in college stoned with a nice heaping of hash and coke sprinkled in Thursday through Saturday and i had the time of my life!

  3. malaka

    that girl has one of the sweetest tushies in the world.

    • Joe Francis's toupee

      Sweet ass or not; if she was ‘making out’ with Paris Hilton, or doing ANYTHING that involves the exchange of bodily fluides with her, there’s a good chance Melissa new drug of choice is now Valtrex.

      • It doesn’t say she made out with Paris Hilton. She’s got to have more class (and brains) than that!

      • Yeah, I’m pretty sure that sentence should read that she was talking about “making out with chicksCOMMA and Paris Hilton trying to make her do coke.” But I first read it the way you did, and thought, Ew.

  4. Kodos

    I think I still have that Maxim shoot of hers.

    Smokin’ hot little witch!

    Glad to see her back in ‘fighting trim’, as it were…

  5. whatthe

    I had to laugh at this: “Thankfully, her dabbling never led to addiction.”
    People don’t get addicted to weed, mushrooms, E, and mescaline. I’ve done enough of all these drugs, so I can tell you that they are not addictive. People may become somewhat dependent on weed, but they won’t suffer from withdrawals if they stop using it.

  6. RattInnaCage

    Ah, Melissa Joan Hart – another rock solid Republican Mitt Romney supporter who managed to use fame and money to do illegal drugs. Just another Hollywood Fraud Bitch.

  7. Melissa Joan Hart Thin Weight Loss Tight Dress Monsters University Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmmmmm, if you’re gonna take you kid out in Hollywood at least introduce yourself to him first. Kid has no idea this is his mother.

  8. djbennyb

    clarissa needs to explain dat ass

    • bagmotherfucker

      don’t need no explanation for dat thang. just permission to examine it closely and thoroughly…. with my throbbing loverod of course!

  9. Clarissa? I’m pretty sure her name is Sabrina.

  10. Bob

    Of course she shared coke and made out with Paris Hilton. You can tell by their opposing wonk eyes.

  11. I always knew Clarissa had a wild side.

  12. J-Sin

    Clarissa needs to explain DAT ASS!

  13. Pat C.

    So, to clarify, the rep for Paris Hilton denies that Melissa turned it down? That’s the way the sentence reads.

  14. She done growed up to be a very sexy woman.

  15. I want to know this Melissa!

  16. Bruce Lee's Left Pinky

    I like this new young Hollywood, where ‘backshots’ are now common because white girls are embracing their big, round, scrumptious booties. Too bad she’s republican scum.

  17. Melissa Joan Hart Thin Weight Loss Tight Dress Monsters University Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She has always had a juicy phat ass…real nice!

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