Melissa Benoist Is Your New Supergirl

I hope you like comic book castings featuring actors and actresses you’ve barely, or never, heard of because that’s what we’ve got today. Which brings us to Melissa Benoist who’s been cast as Supergirl in the new CBS crime procedural of the same name. And if you’re wondering how many crime procedural CBS needs, it’s a million. They need a million or your parents will die. I have seen into their future. THR reports:

The hourlong drama, which received a hefty series commitment, centers on Kara Zor-El, Superman’s cousin, who was born on the planet Krypton and escaped amid its destruction years ago. Benoist will play Kara, who after arriving on Earth was taken in by a foster family, the Danvers, who taught her to be careful with her extraordinary powers (which she shares with her famous cousin, Superman).
Now 24, Kara feels un-empowered, a slave to having repressed her innate abilities. She’s still pretty, but with her face hidden behind glasses and her hair pulled back, she doesn’t know it herself. An unexpected disaster forces her to use her powers in public. Energized by her heroic deed, for the first time in her life, Kara begins embracing her extraordinary abilities. She begins helping the people of her city and they soon take notice — and she’s even given a new moniker: Supergirl.

Of course, the big question, if your penis speaks frequently about jumping off a cliff if something doesn’t happen down here for the love of God, is whether or not Supergirl will be part of the Arrow-verse. Which it won’t. And if you’re going, “What the fuck’s an Arrow-verse?” what’s the outside world like? Have the apes taken over yet? What about ocelots? Very intelligent ocelots. IGN reports:

CBS President Nina Tassler debunked not only months of rumors, but months of fan requests, by announcing that their hotly anticipated Supergirl series would NOT be crossing over with DC’s other two big shows, Arrow and The Flash. The reaction was almost immediate and very, very negative. Fans of DC’s cried out to CBS over social media and sites like IGN displaying their feelings that a shared universe was what they desired, and wanted to see Kara Zor-El cross over into the television shows almost as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, this rules out the possibility of Supergirl reversing time by rotating the Earth backwards and stopping Katie Cassidy from getting her goddamn chin implant that ruined the second season of Arrow. – YOU DON’T DESERVE TO WEAR SARAH’S JACKET! – And trust me when I tell you that everything you just read and understood not a single word of is poignant commentary that would moisten you with desire if you take the time to watch 50-some-odd episodes of a CW show about basically Batman but with a bow and arrow. I’d never lie to you.

Photos: Getty