Melanie Griffith looks like hell

May 10th, 2007 // 248 Comments

49-year-old Melanie Griffith was spotted shopping in Malibu looking like she just turned 112. I’m not normally a fan of surgery, but if your knees look like this then get it. And get a lot of it. Hell, amputate if you need to. You’ve got a serious problem if people look at you and can’t even tell if you’re human anymore.



  1. Jimbo ?

    Holly – Thanks for sticking up for me. Try being a white guy in Asia trying to find a condom! Those fuckers are small and hurt!!

  2. ApacheRose

    Well, you have to remember, Antonio did play the Vampire Armand, so perhaps it was his perfect role.

  3. kamihi

    @31 no one is trashing her cos she looks so damn bad at 49 for 65+ she’d look OK but at 49, with access to all the treatements and stuff and she looks this bad? Imagine how shit she’d look if she never had a face lift – she could have played a 5000 year old corpse in that case.

  4. FRIST!!!

    Hmmmm….now I’m craving chilidogs and Chinese food. I don’t know why…must be subliminal.

    Hey Jimbo, who were you doing at 7:00AM???!!??

  5. p0nk

    apache, just here.
    and i sent an email to afj’s hotmail account. we’ll see if he responds.

  6. I should have my new site up in a few weeks. I have an archive from 2006, but I don’t have anything from the Xanga days, they didn’t have a way to export data.

    I got shut down fast, and lost pretty much everything.

  7. Jimbo ?

    FRIST – At home. I got to work late today

  8. freakflag

    I cannot believe I once wanted to fuck that.

  9. Anonymous

    #106 – are you going to let Wally hang out at your new site? He’s harmless. Ok, mostly harmless (revised edition). He didn’t do most of the stuff he’s been blamed for. You know that, right?

  10. ApacheRose

    Anonymous, can’t speak for Ferret, but I would like to know how you KNOW he’s been wrongly accused.

  11. dtrock78

    Poor Antonio!
    That guy was getting the pussy of his dreams for years, then he marries this disaster. He probably cries himself to sleep every night


    who the fuck is Melanie Griffith???

  13. lambman

    She’s not even 50 yet! Good lord, Ellen Barkin is 53 and she hooked up with George Clooney recently, Joan Allen is over 50 and still hot. Sigourny Weaver is like 58 and looks like she could play Melanie’s daughter

  14. sweetnsnooty

    sweet mother of devil … ouch

  15. KoRneY

    I’d hit it… if I wasn’t alive and had a strange craving for brains.

  16. castanza

    Wow. That’s not right. She used to be hot not that long ago, right? Poor Antonio :(

  17. Hey rose baby. :)

    Anon – the past is in the past. I honestly couldn’t tell you what Gumboot did or didn’t do so many months ago.

  18. Anonymous

    Well, MILFie, let’s just say I might have first-hand knowledge. But then again maybe not – I seem to have a deep-seated identity conflict. Possibly with a dissociative component. Jrz, little help?

  19. teetee

    I look like that. It sucks.

  20. jrzmommy♠

    This is the first time I’ve posted on this thread. The above comments aren’t me, pOnk and Ferret.

  21. jrzmommy♠

    if that is ferret. who the fuck knows anymore.

  22. ToiletDuck

    Well, folks, now we know why Antonio Banderas spends so much time away in Spain…I would venture that a smelly, dumpy, Spanish olive picker with hairy armpits and legs would be more pleasurable than this Hollywood skank…I heard that Mel had her snatch “tuned up” at a plastic surgeon to make it tighter – a wise move, there has been some pretty heavy traffic in and out of there I have heard…

  23. p0nk

    i’m not so sure that’s ferret, JRZ. I should be able to find out very soon.

  24. jrzmommy♠

    I don’t think it is, pOnk……I don’t believe it.

  25. jrzmommy♠

    118–I think the industry term is for your condition is “Just Plain Old Fashioned Fucking Nuts”

  26. Lowlands

    Talking about a imploded blonde bombshell…

  27. wedge1

    I don’t know. On the prior thread (the bikini girl with the ridiculous fake tits), 88 people posted comments without spotting the picture where it looks like she took a shit in the water. Until AFJ at #89. That’s almost as good as a fingerprint match.

  28. p0nk

    talk about fingerprint match. now THERE is some confirmation.

  29. Angry Ferret Jones

    JRZ – e-mail me at my old address.

  30. jrzmommy♠

    I have no freaking fucking idea who YOU are, Wedge1….

  31. jrzmommy♠

    Hell no! I don’t even remember it anyway….so much for ghetto bravado.

  32. wedge1

    #131 – you know me. wedge1 = wedgeone. I modified my name in an unsuccessful attempt to shake a severely retarded but persistent troller.

  33. jrzmommy♠

    yeah, but i have no idea who you are. you could just be another changeling of wally’s.

  34. honeydew

    My sister in law just turned 52, showing her this picture will make her feel so much better about herself.
    I mean damn, this doesn’t even seem possible, even with the whoring, drinking, drugging, sunworshipping and chainsmoking. I think the pact she made with Satan has expired. She is now a souless leather bag.

  35. p0nk

    ok, i’m out of here for the day. anybody that knows me, knows how to get a hold of me.

  36. jrzmommy♠

    by catching you by your tail!

  37. JRZ – P0nk has it. I’ll send you back a picture I made for you back in January.

  38. PrettyBaby

    If it is the real AFJ- what did you lick off my nipples when I recruited people for your site?? hahaha- think.

  39. PrettyBaby

    Hi p0nk- mwah, mwah and mwaahhhhhh!

  40. Lowlands

    Girls this can happen to you when you don’t use skinlotion on regular base and didn’t send me a check frequently.

  41. honeydew

    Melanie Griffith was mauled by a lion in 1977 and needed plastic surgery to fix her.

  42. honeydew

    That’s true by the way.

  43. jrzmommy♠

    Anyone could have swiped that box of Jrzfruits, dude. all you gotta do is just right click on a picture and save it. Duh. That doesn’t mean nuthin.

  44. PB – oh jeez… That is a tough one. I am tempted to say chocolate syrup, but it has been such a long time. Or honey…mmmmmm, honey is totally-fucking-tasty on the boobies!

  45. jrzmommy♠

    nice try. we know you kidnapped the real Ferret months ago and have him locked in your cellar, Wally……feeding him all kinds of nasty shit. Like…..Pork & Beans.

  46. jrzmommy♠

    see—Baby–it ain’t ferret.

  47. PrettyBaby

    NOPE it was blueberry jam…

  48. JRZ – you’re killing me! I have all the pieces and parts I used to put that JRZfruits box together, but that probably doesn’t matter.

  49. PrettyBaby

    I guess it’s possible that you don’t remember it as clearly as I do. It’s not like I won a lot of awards at your site…

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