Melanie Griffith looks like hell

May 10th, 2007 // 248 Comments

49-year-old Melanie Griffith was spotted shopping in Malibu looking like she just turned 112. I’m not normally a fan of surgery, but if your knees look like this then get it. And get a lot of it. Hell, amputate if you need to. You’ve got a serious problem if people look at you and can’t even tell if you’re human anymore.



  1. Wow Just Wow

    34. thanks for that link.

    No wonder she looks like that. She’s got a cigarette problem.


  2. schack

    jim, just admit it.

  3. didey23

    there is no way that is her

  4. doomhammer


  5. #12 – Mel G is gonna find you and stick a pencil thru your heart.

    Have a steak ready. For the barbie.

  6. I think Antononio Banderas has some kind of magic dick. Because god knows I’ve seen her do all kinds of magic tricks with her appearance over the years (I’m pretty sure I’ve seen pictures at least as frightening as this a few times, a few years apart each time), and since I find it hard to believe she would go out in public looking as broke down as she does here if the magic was of her own doing, I’m going to make a leap of faith and say it’s got to be Antonio Banderas’s dick. It could be his hands or something, but I think it’s grosser to imagine her having to rub his dick all over her to make herself look young and beautiful again.

    You can thank me for that visual once you’ve washed the vomit from your mouth.

  7. Jimbo ?

    Cool I go to lunch and my troll comes out. What would you like me to admit Schack? And for the record, it was 7:00 AM PDT

  8. Craig & "em"


    But interestingly enough…

  9. run Antonio!

    (man, what a bitch I am)

  10. schack

    which one is your troll, #45?

    and you went to lunch at 11:30 AM?


  11. itspat

    I can believe that’s her. She was already looking old when she was still young. The deck was always stacked against her – pale skin, heavy smoker, alcohol and drugs, 3 kids, 3 divorces, chronic pain from a car accident, doesn’t work out, sun exposure, stork legs of an apple-shaped woman. Without constant botox and skin tightening or removal, this is what you get. On the plus side, I bet there will be an attempt to launch a new “Golden Girls” TV show at some point, and she’d probably land a role because she’d save them a bundle in makeup costs.

  12. mrs.t

    I just remembered I need to buy crepe paper.

  13. DrPhowstus

    Tara Reid, circa 2009.

  14. justlikehoney1

    When she’s naked she probably looks like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. I hope Antonio isn’t unlucky enough to be her Smithers. Although, Smithers is in the closet & looking at Melanie in person is surely enough to turn any straight man into a fudge packer

  15. HollyJ

    Antonio is barely 5’9″ tall, so despite his OK face, he’s no prize. Being short is worse than being fat or ugly. At least fat ugly people have diet and surgery to fall back on.

  16. schack

    “god hates short people”

  17. Jimbo ?

    Schack How did you know it was #45? Yes I go to lunch at 11:00. I get to work at 7:00.

  18. Jimbo ?

    Mrs T. How is it going?

  19. Courtney Love

    yeah and as this site attests, diet and surgery work out really well in the long run…

  20. schack

    there were no spelling or grammatical errors.

  21. BarbadoSlim

    If Antonio Banderas were a freakish dwarf with the face of Antonio Banderas he’d still be doing her a favor.

  22. HollyJ

    Nah, God doesn’t hate short PEOPLE.. He hates short MEN. That’s why he gives most of them small weinies too.

    Short women can be cute or dainty. Except the fat ugly ones. =0

    I know this because I talk to God, or The Voices, or whoever that is buzzing in my ears, all the time. *buzzing*

  23. schack

    i assumed it was #45 because his/her tone was different from yours. You’re usually either matter-of-fact or you’re lude and belligerent. This kind of lightly guileful comment clearly didn’t come from you.

  24. Jimbo ?

    Or maybe because it was pompous and arrogant

  25. Third straight day featuring a pic in which a celebrity looked dead. Jesus. Antonio Bandaras must wear a chastity belt around that thing.

  26. veggi

    Holly, I think you’re mixing things up at little bit. The short guys lack confidence. The white guys have small weinies.

  27. HollyJ

    When I hear Antonio’s voice now, all I can picture in my mind is the pantless cat on Shrek sitting on Donkey’s back whilst licking his own balls.

  28. Jimbo ?

    HEY – not all white guys have small wennies!! Asian guys have small wennies

  29. FRIST!!!

    What the FUCK!!!!!!!

    Hey, isn’t she on some sitcom on the WB now? Or whatever channel the WB used to be? With that nerdy guy from Perfect Strangers (that show from the 80′s with Bronson Pinchot as “Balki”)? I though she was lookng decent on there. Unless I’m wrong and I’m thinking of a different actress…

    So, wait, does everybody have a troll now? Jimbo, Schack, pOnk, Wedge1? How do I know who’s who?
    OMG, my feet fell asleep and now they are numb and tingling. And Mojo (my parrot) is eating my skirt.

  30. Hecubus

    Do you think Antonio Banderas stays up at night masturbating to his sex scene with Salma Hayek from Desperado ? Or at least watching it over and over crying.

  31. FRIST!!!

    Schack, what does JFC and GWS mean?

  32. wedge1

    Now all I can hear is “whilst”…promise me you shan’t titter about me whilst I nip out for a fag?

  33. Plastic Sturgeon

    I have to get back to the British Museum. My they have an interesting exhibit this year!

  34. She HAS had tons of surgery, and this is the results. Once you get major face lifts, skin lifts, lipo etc… you have to KEEP getting surgery because it totally fucks up your skin.

    Poor thing, she wanted to look 30 when she was 35 and now she ends up looking 75 when she’s only 49.

  35. Jimbo ?

    FRIST – I know who my troll is. My troll is usually pretty nice. Can I come over and eat your skirt?

  36. HollyJ

    @78 Jimbo – I was JUST about to say that! Based on my limited past pre-marriage market research, Asian dudes are hung like light switches. (FYI, my white husband has a great schvonschtucker!)

    lol 82 I’ve been admired for my big titterings. ;)

  37. deborah

    Who would have thought that being married to Antonio Banderas would be that hard on the knees?? Lucky girl!!

  38. Kim

    I’m sorry. My mother is 53 and looks 20 years younger than this leathery bag! And my mom spent her share of time in the sun in the 70′s when baby oil was what you put on your skin, and there was no such thing as SPF!

  39. ANS's Abscess

    She would be a very credible spokeswoman for personal lubricants.

  40. schwing

    I want to support organic products but the chicken legs always seem so scrawny.

  41. p0nk

    whenever any of the regs say something absurdly rude or sick (typically out of character), i just assume it’s a troll. There are probably other trolls besides Wally, but he’s the most famous one. And if i’m wrong in that assumption, no harm done.

  42. Jumping fuck that is one ugly bitch. And I don’t mean ugly in a “no thanks, I don’t want to go to lunch with you” sort of way, I mean ugly in a “Jesus Christ, here she comes, get your kids off the fucking street” sort of way.

    I wouldn’t fuck her with Wally’s dick.

    PS – Back out of jail bitches. AFJ ITMH

  43. jrzmommy♠

    In the old days, the regs were the ones you could count on to say absurdly rude or sick things. That’s why we used to come here every day.

  44. p0nk

    …speaking of wally aka trollmaster.

  45. jrzmommy♠

    As if on cue…

  46. Crusteriffic

    Wow, I know she has had some radical plastic surgery but I didn’t even know it was an option to replace limbs with elephant trunks! Botox I’ve heard of, gastric bypasses and collagen injections – sure! It doesn’t seem very practical to me to replace your legs with wrinkly elephant appendages in the name of beauty, but who am I to judge? I guess anything is possible in Hollywood baby! If she replaces her arms with ducks wings though, I’ll say she’s gone too far.

  47. p0nk

    jrz, i don’t remember people talking about drinking somebody’s douche water, or wanting to give somebody a chillidog. maybe i’ve just gotten sensitive in my old age.

  48. Carlos Alves

    Eww! That’s all I can say.

  49. p0nkmeister/jrz it is truly me.

    if you have my old hotmail addy send me a note.


  50. ApacheRose

    P0nk, where ya been?

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