Melanie Griffith knows good parenting

August 4th, 2006 // 108 Comments




  1. LadybugDoes

    Better cigarettes than plastic surgery

  2. mrs.t

    They’re both studying for upcoming roles of homeless hookers. Isn’t it obvious?

  3. They look like the Olsen twins.

  4. LadybugDoes

    Better to give her cigarettes than plastic surgery. How much work do you think Melanie’s had? Be dead or look like death…you decide

  5. Annette

    “I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom!”

  6. hootiewho

    Remember when it was cool to smoke with your mom? No? Me neither…

  7. So a lot of people say that they smoke because it helps them relax, right? What in the bloody hell does a 17 year old millionairre have to stress about so badly that she would feel the need to inhale carcinogens into her lungs to “help” her feel calm? Idiots, both of ‘em.

  8. Evie

    when did melanie griffith get so trashy?

  9. krisdylee

    I heard Melanie also inserts her daughter’s diaphram for her.
    I can’t wait to spark up a joint with my daughter. Do you think 5 is too young?

  10. wawawetards

    @ 8- august 9, 1957. according to

  11. Jedi Kevin

    So, what’s with the new background image of “Bree” (Marcia Cross) on the main page?

    She’s got a gun! :)

  12. combustion8

    money still cant buy class.

  13. superstar26

    Does Antonio smoke? Not that I care but it would seem really odd to me for some reason.

  14. Sad. And gross. And not even a little bit surprising.

  15. LizzyBorden

    The only way that I could tell it was Melanie is that she’s wearing the Mom jeans.

  16. YouWannaBMe

    I believe it was Melanie Griffith who once said that if her daughter wanted to smoke pot when she was 16 she would give her the joint and smoke it with her…

    A year late and *not* a joint… so maybe she’s changed her mind slightly ??

    I don’t think it’s all that shocking considering the fact that mothers like Jean Spears, Dina Lohan, and Tina Simpson all think it’s acceptable to “pimp” their underage daughters out for the world to see!! May I remind everyone that when Britney was “hot” (at 17) her mother signed the dotted line for her to pose half-naked with a teletubby on the cover of Rolling Stone??? Not to mention the pictures inside which totally catered to every pedophiles dream- her riding bikes with her ass hanging out and in her room with a bunch of dolls??

    Melanie doesn’t seem as bad to me as those mothers. Rock on Mel! :)

  17. llllllllll

    Hey listen guys, she probably doesn’t inhale…bahahaha

  18. jrzmommy

    As a mommmy, I couldn’t condone such behaviour. Very irresponsible! My kids just smoke meat pipes.

  19. J.Ro

    Well, obviously Griffith Jr. needs to smoke. Can’t you see how FAT she is?!

  20. jrzmommy

    This is totally normal parenting in Hollywood. The mother looks like a washed-up stripper/street walker and is desperately trying to not look like a mom, while the daughter feels helpless by the mother’s hyper-sexuality and turns into a mousey emaciated ghost of a person and resorts to self-destructive behavior in order to have a mutual interest with the mother who barely knows she’s alive. That’s great.
    Faux Jrzmommy in spot #18. Don’t you have a chemo appointment or something to do?

  21. ToiletDuck

    “Mom, can you light my crack pipe? My matches got wet…”

  22. ToiletDuck


    Damn funny!!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. ToiletDuck

    Have you seen this whiny, titless circus freak up close lately? (yeah I stole that, but who cares??) She has had so much plastic surgery her navel is on her chin…

  24. jrzmommy

    @20: Hey now you/I can take credit for #18, toiletduck thought it was funny, so you/I don’t have to come up with this fake “oh that’s not me/you, when you/I say something stupid”, which is 99% of the time.

  25. bootface

    LOL thats awesome

  26. Jacq

    The better question is when WASN’T I smoking with my parents as a pre-teen?

  27. Who is the kid’s faher? Didn’t she have like 3 children with 3 different fathers? I bet daddy wouldn’t approve if it weren’t for child custody.

  28. RichPort

    I see a reality series in this girl’s future: Hollywood Teens and the Moms That Whore Them.

    #9 That’s about the age my Dad started with me, but I’m not too sure if holding my nose and forcing a shotgun on me counts

    #10 My thoughts exactly

  29. Jacq

    #15 – 9 1/2 inches of zipper? Check!

  30. Nikk The Templar

    Just you wait…..Dina Lohan’s going to try and outdo Melanie by doing ten rails of Columbian blow with Lindz!!!! And then fucking a donkey in Tijuana!!!

  31. Boner. I have a boner.

  32. Prior to the cigarette, Mom and daughter shared their first Latino poolboy. It was a moving experience, a milestone for both Melanie and her child. When she turns 18, Mel’s going to gift her with her first plastic surgery. The rich are not like us… they have class.

  33. jrzmommy

    30–You just described Lindsay’s 10th Birthday party, only Dina it was the pony for the pony rides, not a donkey.

  34. jrzmommy

    woopsie–random Dina in there.

  35. ToiletDuck

    Melanie doesn’t have children, she has LITTERS – she has whelped several from most of Hollywood’s leading men, and God-only-knows-who-else – that concentration camp victim on the photos looks suspiciously like one of the Olsen twins, and it wouldn’t surprise me if Mel’s DNA was washing around in there too…

  36. Nikky Raney

    i can see britney spears doing something like this. and then to cover it up she’ll say “YEAH BUT MELANIE GRIFFITH DID IT”

  37. Equalparts

    This is not that big of a deal to me. The girl is going to smoke whether her mom lights her cigarettes or not, you know? Melanie probably just knows that and accepts it. It doesn’t mean she likes it. I’m sure if she had her choice, she’d not allow it.

    Also–these two do not look like happy campers in the pics. Looks like they just got some bad news. “Fuck it honey, let’s spark it up.”

    Melanie looks great…how she manages to keep so skinny at that age. I’m so jealous, and I’m only 31 years old.

  38. What does the tattoo say on Ms Griffiths arm?

    Mel & Don 4ever >>> Line through Dons name, replaced with Antonio

    @24 “jrzmommy” – I didn’t think #18 was you after that stern tongue lashing (I enjoyed IT by the way) you gave my yesterday.

  39. jrzmommy

    38–neither 18 nor 24 are me. Besides I don’t think I was too harsh with you at all. don’t sweat it.

  40. ToiletDuck

    awww. group hug coming up…scuse me while I bring up my Big Mac…

  41. courtkneeyo

    she is worried antonio will leave her for her daughter… die daughter die.

  42. jFp

    The only reason people smoke is that they believe it will help them be slim and help them look cool.

    Melanie doesn’t want a fat dull kid. It’s not good for her own image.

  43. Cigarette ages are state laws, not federal. Eighteen may be the national average for purchasing and it may even dominate, but it’s not the law of the Unired States.

    In Colorado, it is against the law for a minor to purchase tobacco, but not for them to possess or consume it. California law restricts purchasing and possession, but it is not illegal for a minor to use it.

  44. DancingQueen

    That’s just WRONG! I mean this one time when I was like 14 mom took me to a strip club and got me a lap dance, but that was entirely different since mom worked there! Sheesh.

  45. andrewthezeppo

    Whoever asked- Clearly Antonio smokes he’s European…they all smoke.

    Smoking is cool…do it with your mom.

    but Mel at least has nice legs still

  46. whackjob

    the whole jizz-mommy, psycho “I’m not you”, “knock it off, that’s not me” thing is freaking hilarious.

    now if we could just get everyone to

    and say


    with props
    to Herbiefraud
    and his
    the troll

  47. Jacq

    #32 – Kinda like Denise Richards and her mom in “Wild Things”?

    #46 – I think that he/she only said one funny thing ever – but if you resurrect Herbie with that post, I’m going to kick your ass.

  48. mrgreenspleen

    Nothing as sexy as a woman who chain smokes and has tattoos. Old nasty whore and young nasty whore.

  49. Yeah, it seems like her and Don Johnson are having a contest to see who can be the worst role model for kids.

    “Light up, honey! It’ll keep you thin! And smelly, which doesn’t show up in photos.”

  50. spamfighter

    ya wanna laugh goto – that lady’s a whack-job and I don’t mean in the good way, like beating off.

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