Melanie Rios Was There, Too

January 28th, 2011 // 91 Comments

We’ve already seen Kacey Jordan, so I felt it was important to take a look at porn star Melanie Rios (Formerly Melanie Jane), the other fifth of Charlie Sheen‘s hooker sandwich, who seems to prove he hasn’t entirely lost it. Had he spent the past three days holed up with just Kacey Jordan and her beak, the situation might’ve been way worse than we imagined. But now that I see Melanie, I kind of want to subscribe to Charlie’s newsletter even though I’m sure it’s nothing but a piece of paper with dollar signs written in hooker blood and coke. “It’s like money to them,” he probably says.

Special thanks to Mark for providing the pics of Melanie and Kacey even though he won’t tell me how Charlie Sheen orders these chicks and/or give me a ballpark on shipping.

Photos: Club Melanie Jane (NSFW)


  1. Que

    Que better the otra.

    • Happy Spillmore

      Wow, so BRILLIANT!!

      Not only is he harboring illegal drugs..hes harboring illegal immigrants with meth head teeth too.

      GREAT plan Charlie!! Get her jacked and she’ll clean the house, do all the landscaping and yard work in record time…all the while you are laying tubesteak to that FUCKING HOTTIE Kacey Jordan!

      You Sir are my HERO!!

  2. wow gorgeous girl. does she do jessica alba lookalike porn?

    • Drew

      Something tells me you think she’s gorgeous because she looks like she’s 14.

    • eatme

      o gawd, melanie rios is my fav porn star. her teeth are a little off, but damn she is fine.

      • Mike Walker

        I’ve always thought she was hot and a poor man’s Jessica Alba too, but the 4th pic gives you an idea of how much makeup she’s wearing. Oofah.

        Her best shot scene is Barely Legal 105

      • Mike Walker

        Thanks to the beaver, er, eagle eyes of another poster, I can tell you that the 4th picture is Valerie Rios, not Melanie Rios.

        My faith is restored! (not to mention my boner)

      • eatme

        wtf and lol?
        you thought she wears so much makeup that she ends up looking like a totally different chick? Funny as shit. Considering that these girls do lesbian scenes together I wonder how she would have pulled that off if it was the same girl.

  3. Cock Dr

    “Charlie’s Bimbos”.
    Stay tuned for another exciting episode.
    Will Charlie die? Will a hooker manage to sneak off with a watch worth more than your house? How many kilos of coke will be consumed, smeared & spilled?

  4. Melanie Rios
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks expensive.

  5. Melanie Rios
    Commented on this photo:

    Between the two you’ve shown, it’s safe to say he likes to bang chicks that look like kids.

  6. DM

    no tits again, what a surprise.

  7. Melanie Rios
    Commented on this photo:

    Photo #3 isn’t her, clearly,

    But wow, nominee for too pretty for porn, surely?

  8. Jeremy

    Now that, I would coitus.

  9. Melanie Rios
    Commented on this photo:

    So Charlie Sheen digs 14 year olds. Got it. Next.

  10. Sugar

    She’s actually pretty–like a low rent Jessica Alba. Why do girls go into porn?

    • RoboZombie

      Good point…it used to be only marginally pretty women went into porn.

      • Oh, it’s still only marginally pretty women going into porn. Makeup and lighting techniques have come a hell of a long way, though. And Photoshop. Never underestimate the power of the ‘Shop.

    • Cock Dr

      It’s usually a combination of mental illness, substance abuse issues & lack of financial options that seems to seal these girl’s fates.
      I’m sure that a few of them are simply exhibitionistic whores right to marrow of their bones.

    • taco flavored kisses

      “people will do anything, anything…for those dead Presidents…”

    • Deacon Jones

      Two words – Daddy issues.

      • jamaican n!ga

        the whole daddy issues is total BS
        I mean, not all of them had daddy issues, Just like not all people with daddy issues do drugs or do porn, if that was the case 60% percent of the world would be drug/porn stars,
        WHO gets along with their Parents anyway? total BS
        she does porn because the same reason we are talking about her, She wanted to make it and be famous and she had no talent for anything else,
        You know how much they get paid? thousands, and all the stuff they get to do, I mean, she is a porn STAR, she is famous, she is hanging out with Charlie Sheen for gods sake, A lot more than i can say for any of us

      • Mike Walker

        What is that, an inverse post hoc fallacy?

    • cc

      I was thinking the same thing. They can’t all come from shit ass backgrounds. She’s cute enough to have found a nice rich husband who’d have given her a good life. Instead, she chose to be a human toilet.

      Do any of their lives come with a happy ending?

  11. Melanie Rios
    Commented on this photo:

    I have seen some of her work… it’s… impressive!

    Oh how I wish I was Charlie Sheen… he knows how to have a good time!

  12. Melanie Rios
    Commented on this photo:


  13. Not if I rough you first

    Too plain brunette. How big is the bow tie on this one?


  15. RoboZombie

    This place is boner central today!

  16. Melanie Rios
    Commented on this photo:

    Mary Catherine Gallagher?

  17. Nice little apple bottom in pic#3. She little boney and flat chested but cute. I love me some latinas.

  18. Well she does look like Jessica Alba. What surprised me is he didn’t get her as well.

  19. NameNotRequired

    i can’t wait till this whore gets relegated to page 2 of this god-forsaken website. Then, like all the other posts no longer on the first page, she will be forgotten for all eternity.

  20. Melanie Rios
    Mortimer Duke
    Commented on this photo:

    Wearing skippys’ aint hot, son.

  21. Josephus

    Five bucks says he put it in her butt as punishment for “Good Luck Chuck.”

  22. I saw Michael Lohan doing her in one of the pictures. On the website.

  23. Melanie Rios
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha! “IHS”? Those were the initials of my high school. We used to say it stood for “I Hate School”. Maybe because there were no chicks this hot in it.

  24. Dane

    Remember when The Superficial used to just post the nude pics? I miss those days. I also miss when I could read the whole article and see the pics from Google Reader without having to visit the page.

    • jamaican n!ga

      I know, :(
      probably some mormon or republican a$$hole couldn’t handle it and complained,

      damn those republicans, those perverted, sex hungry, homophones/homosexual republicans

      • krutboo

        not all Republicans are uptight Christians you dookie colored shit stain. My guess is the change had nothing to do with your bullshit assessment.

  25. MLVC

    just watched some of her work on…..searching for a wet nap.

  26. burton


  27. Deacon Jones

    In all seriousness, I have a full on erection scrolling through these.

  28. Lola

    they really look like childrens

  29. Nero

    Finally someone who doesn’t call herself Rolls Royce or Ferrari or something.

  30. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Shes very cute. But a whore by any other name still be a whore.

    By the way, she sorta reminds me of my daughter in a few of these pics….and my daughters in 7th grade. They do that on PURPOSE, right? That sorta makes me wanna throw up.

  31. ashley

    Maybe he doesn’t have sex with em. Maybe he just invites them over for some good ol’ fashion home cooking and buys them Bentleys so they can change their lives and leave their current careers… Like a foster parent, but with porn stars.

  32. jamaican n!ga


    she is UGLY, ugly as hell,
    besides, Is Charlie Sheen into women with really tiny t!ts???
    every porn star we keep getting information that was with him is like an A-B cup
    I am rather disappointed in Charlie, He could have done WAY BETTER…

  33. adolf hitler

    this dude is ordering his favorite stars off of porn sites. that is awesome.

  34. This is Truth

    Where was Tiger Woods during all of this action? Eh, nevermind. Waffle House tramps were more his style.

  35. Rhialto

    Staying power or stardom that’s something like; who does fit the glass slippers?

  36. LJ

    Charley Sheen has been living the life of Pornstars/whores and cocaine for the past 20 years (at least since he shot Kelly Preston in the arm in 1990).

    It’s amazing that he still has a nose left to breathe through with all that snorting, and how many STDs does he spread around the city as he pokes all those skanky holes.

    The man has one hell of a constitution.

  37. Nero

    she’d look quite talented to me.

  38. Bill

    Charlie is my hero! This one is uber hot, looks just like Jessica Alba. The kacey one is ugh.

  39. me likey

    She is fantastic, google youjizz, search her name and enfuckingjoy.

  40. erección

    ¡Que panocha, dios mio!

  41. Melanie Rios
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s Valerie Rios (also a porn star).

  42. Melanie Rios
    Commented on this photo:

    Shit, you’ve got a huge bug in your living room.

  43. Mancuso

    You accidentally the jail!

  44. Mancuso

    Damnit, that was for Mike, what’s the deal with the comments Fish!?

  45. Melanie Rios
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d throw a shot in her ass. Prolly a hot dog/hallway situation anyway.

  46. LL

    Why hasn’t anyone noted that this girl is only 19 and drinking with a late 40′s man? Why is Kacey Jordan getting all the attention and did this girl even get PAID the same (Kacey got a 30K check)

  47. Rough City U.S.A.

    Now this banging brunette is presentable, as suppose to the Jessica retarded Alba that should have payed me to bang her….

  48. Rough City U.S.A.

    Oops wrong time, wrong post

  49. Melanie Rios
    Commented on this photo:

    who wouldn’t kill or die for an hour of Melanie’s time?

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