Mel Gibson has secret illegitimate children

December 18th, 2006 // 4 Comments
bad-mel-gibson.jpg

A 29-year old blonde woman is taking legal action to force Mel Gibson to take a DNA test to prove she’s his secret daughter. She claims Mel knocked up her mom 30 years ago before he was famous, and now wants to prove it. She says:

“I’m not doing it for his money. I just want to meet the man I’ve always known was my dad – and for him to get to know his grandson. I’d love it if he recognised us as family. I’m not looking for a meal ticket. I am happy with my life.”

If you read the entire account, apparently Mel picked up a 17-year old hitchiker, then persuaded her to join him in the mattress he had in the backseat of his station wagon. After a night of passionate station wagon sex, he then told her he had to get back to work at an orange juice factory and took off. No, seriously. This is what the woman who got knocked up is actually claiming. All it’s missing is the part where the UFO touches down and anally probes her pet goat. Although that might come off a little unbelievable. And we can’t have that.

superficial

  1. isitin

    Firrrssssssst

  2. Truthseeker013

    You call this *news*? Now, if she’d been a seventeen-year-old hitchhiker from Tel Aviv…

  3. meh, not even remotely interesting

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