So You Birthed Mel Gibson’s Baby, What Comes Next?
We love babies at The Superficial. Which is why we want to congratulate Mel Gibson and Rosalind Ross on the birth of his ninth child Lars Gerard. But having a new baby is no easy task – Especially with a Mel in the house! – so we hope Rosalind will appreciate these helpful tips we put together to ease her into a calm, smooth motherhood. A happy mom is a happy baby.
1. RUN BITCH GET OUTDA HOUSE! HE GONNA KEEL YOU AND/OR PUNCH THAT BABY! YOU ARE GOING TO DIEEEEE! RUN, GIRL!!
2. There’s no such thing as “too many burp cloths.”
3. HE IS EYEING THE JACUZZI THEN YOU THEN BACK AT THE JACUZZI?!? CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, BITCH, HE GONNA BURN EVERYTHING!! OHMYGOD!
3. Is your little guy constipated? Put a dollop of corn syrup in his bottle.
4. DID HE STARE IN A MIRROR AND ASK “WHAT DID YOU TO DO MY LOOKS, GYPSY?!” DIVE OUT DA WINDOW GIRL!! HIS ASS MADE A MOVIE ABOUT WORLD WAR II IN TRUMP’S AMERICA! MOTHERFUCKER CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING! ANYTHING!!!
Welp, those should get you started. Enjoy your new bundle of joy!