Mel Gibson Gets To Make His Jew Movie

The Superficial / September 9, 2011

“I promise it’ll be respectful to their money-grubbin’, media-controllin’ ways. Honest Injun.”

Back when Passion of the Christ came out, Mel Gibson talked heavily about wanting to make a movie about Jewish hero Judah Maccabee which naturally sent the Jewish community into a tizzy, and this was before his infamous 2006 DUI arrest rife with anti-Semitism and sugary tits. Several years and threats of arson in the absence of oral sex later, Warner Bros. has apparently decided now would be a awesome time to bring this puppy to life, according to The Hollywood Reporter:

Warner Bros. is joining forces with Mel Gibson to develop a movie about the Jewish hero Judah Maccabee, and Basic Instinct screenwriter Joe Eszterhas has come aboard to write the screenplay. Gibson will produce through his Icon Productions and will decide whether he’ll act in or direct the film once the script is completed.
Although Gibson was accused of anti-Semitism by a number of Jewish leaders when he released The Passion of the Christ in 2004, he’s wanted to tackle a movie about Maccabee for more than a decade. Maccabbee, considered one of the great warriors in Jewish history, led a popular revolt against he Seleucid king Antiochus IV, seizing Jerusalem and reconsecrating the Temple, an event remembered by the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah.

Oh, did I not mention Mel Gibson might star as the Jewish hero? Mel Gibson might star as the Jewish hero. On top of that, The Superficial has obtained an exclusive look at the script which is sure to delight audience members both old and older alike provided they have a secret past working for the S.S.

JUDAH MACCABEE
[Sits quietly looking out window of a deli as he drinks the
blood from an infant's neck.]
Send this man in. I will hear his words.

HASIDIC HENCHMAN
Yes, boss.

JESUS
Good morning to you, Mr. Maccabee. I bring good news.

JUDAH
The fuck you do! [Jumps up and fires two Tommy guns,
one in each hand, at Jesus]

JESUS
NOOOOOO!!!! [Falls to the ground, riddled with bullets.]

JUDAH
You.

HENCHMAN
Yes, sir.

JUDAH
Have sex with the bullet holes to see if any gold coins
pop out. I love coins.

HENCHMAN
Right away, sir.

JUDAH
[picks up phone, dials] Hello, newspapers? Jesus was just shot in 
my deli, but I had nothing to do with it, so print what I say, see? 
Also, communicate to Hitler that Operation: Fake Holocaust is a go.

FADE OUT.

Yup, I smell an Oscar.

Photos: Getty