Mel Gibson Gets To Make His Jew Movie

September 9th, 2011 // 40 Comments

“I promise it’ll be respectful to their money-grubbin’, media-controllin’ ways. Honest Injun.”

Back when Passion of the Christ came out, Mel Gibson talked heavily about wanting to make a movie about Jewish hero Judah Maccabee which naturally sent the Jewish community into a tizzy, and this was before his infamous 2006 DUI arrest rife with anti-Semitism and sugary tits. Several years and threats of arson in the absence of oral sex later, Warner Bros. has apparently decided now would be a awesome time to bring this puppy to life, according to The Hollywood Reporter:

Warner Bros. is joining forces with Mel Gibson to develop a movie about the Jewish hero Judah Maccabee, and Basic Instinct screenwriter Joe Eszterhas has come aboard to write the screenplay. Gibson will produce through his Icon Productions and will decide whether he’ll act in or direct the film once the script is completed.
Although Gibson was accused of anti-Semitism by a number of Jewish leaders when he released The Passion of the Christ in 2004, he’s wanted to tackle a movie about Maccabee for more than a decade. Maccabbee, considered one of the great warriors in Jewish history, led a popular revolt against he Seleucid king Antiochus IV, seizing Jerusalem and reconsecrating the Temple, an event remembered by the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah.

Oh, did I not mention Mel Gibson might star as the Jewish hero? Mel Gibson might star as the Jewish hero. On top of that, The Superficial has obtained an exclusive look at the script which is sure to delight audience members both old and older alike provided they have a secret past working for the S.S.

JUDAH MACCABEE
[Sits quietly looking out window of a deli as he drinks the
blood from an infant's neck.]
Send this man in. I will hear his words.

HASIDIC HENCHMAN
Yes, boss.

JESUS
Good morning to you, Mr. Maccabee. I bring good news.

JUDAH
The fuck you do! [Jumps up and fires two Tommy guns,
one in each hand, at Jesus]

JESUS
NOOOOOO!!!! [Falls to the ground, riddled with bullets.]

JUDAH
You.

HENCHMAN
Yes, sir.

JUDAH
Have sex with the bullet holes to see if any gold coins
pop out. I love coins.

HENCHMAN
Right away, sir.

JUDAH
[picks up phone, dials] Hello, newspapers? Jesus was just shot in 
my deli, but I had nothing to do with it, so print what I say, see? 
Also, communicate to Hitler that Operation: Fake Holocaust is a go.

FADE OUT.

Yup, I smell an Oscar.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. How is he going to find anyone in Hollywood to support a movie about Jews…much less star in it?

  2. KC

    He’s actually making a movie about OJ Simpson,”The Juice.”

  3. Cock Dr

    From smokin’ hot leading man to looking like the homeless guy who hangs out with his grocery cart under the highway overpass.
    Wonder how much money mad Mel has left after all those legal & domestic expenses.
    Wonder if mad Mel now uses condoms.

    • TomFrank

      Don’t forget—he was ready to pay Oksana $15 million last year, but she turned it down and this year found herself settling for a mere $750K. Love him or hate him, I don’t think Mel’s hurting in the money department.

      • Cock Dr

        Divorce.
        Child support.
        Army of lawyers.
        Last movie = epic flop.
        I dunno. That lifestyle is a damned expensive one to maintain.

      • Secret Squirrel

        Passion of the Christ: foreign & domestic gross = $600 million

        …he aint goin’ broke anytime soon.
        (He put up his own money to make it, so all that profit was his…and that’s not even counting DVD sales and cable rights)

  4. Mel Gibson Jewish Hero Movie
    Ugh
    Commented on this photo:

    Jewish Community to Mel: Sure, you can make this movie, but you will blow me first.

  5. Mel Gibson Jewish Hero Movie
    Grinder
    Commented on this photo:

    Not wanting to sound anti-semitic or anti-jew … but the jews usually deserve what people say about them as most of the stereotypes fit.

  6. Jill

    Make fun all you want, there is absolutely no way I am not seeign this movie. I pray to whatever created Peter Dinklage to make this happen.

  7. Carla

    wow…looking a bit Liberace-ish..

  8. After seeing the movie, “The Beaver” this retard should stop making movies altogether!!

  9. kirby

    Jews have been playing Gentiles for decades. If Mel can act, let him play the Jewish part. There’s a picture of a guy on your site with his pants down to his ankles. Really, how self-righteous are you?

    • Probably about as up-righteous as you are. I figure the enormous log that’s sticking out of your ass has not only been keeping you rigid for years, it’s probably made you miss the entire point of an argument numerous times.

      • Your Gynecologist

        Burn :)

      • kirby

        Logs and asses. I must have hit pretty close to the mark for you to bring your “A” game., but it was enough to win you one fan right below you. I think between the two of you, that makes for a mean protest at Mel’s screening of his new movie. What will you be protesting? Dunno: maybe that Jews don’t get enough work in Hollywood.

  10. Agnostic Racist Bastard

    The main reason I don’t believe in the bible? Because Jews kicking anyone’s ass is so far a stretch that I’d believe Joseph Smith really read brass plates with magic gemstones before any group of Jews actually scared off any army. (unless that army was fortified with 12 year old girls)

    There’s a reason they took turns being slaves for different rulers around the middle east & northern africa….and it wasn’t cause they were “fierce” warriors. lol

    • Gothikarose

      Shut up

    • TomFrank

      Yeah, it’s not as if, as Egypt, Syria, and Jordan were mobilizing their forces against it, Israel completely beat them back and took over some of their territory in a mere six days. Oh, wait…that actually happened, didn’t it?

      Oh, and a Jewish army running off the Seleucid Empire? Turns out that actually happened, too. Whether or not it happened the way the Bible says it happened is open to debate.

      • Agnostic Racist Bastard

        Yes, yes, with America’s nukes, jets, and other stuff now Jews are tough. lol

        Good thing they are America’s welfare child.

        All that being said, you rewind stuff back to the brutal “man on man” days (minus technology) and you get all the explanations you’re tried to overlook.

      • Agnostic Racist Bastard

        edit “you’ve tried”

    • Dan

      eh, some of the Israelis I have met have been pretty hardcore guys at whatever they do. The ones I know are into computer security/op sec and they usually can come up with something clever to get around most problems.

      I think it is the American Jews that are stereotypically not as tough as their middle eastern brothers. I have seen this myself.

  11. Gothikarose

    Isn’t this motherfucker an anti-Semitic. Why should he be allowed to make such a movie. On the side note, he’s sexy as hell in my opinion (dont judge me)

  12. MILF

    Anyone who endures another moment of Gibson deserves to be blown.

  13. brittani

    Mad Max 4 The Jewish Apocalypse. Starring Mel Gibson, Adrian Brody, and Sugar Tits.

  14. Mel Gibson Jewish Hero Movie
    Commented on this photo:

    “The same Jews that killed Jesus? I thought these were different Jews. Scum of the earth, of course, but…really? The same devil blood running through their pig-hating veins?”

  15. Mel Gibson Jewish Hero Movie
    DK
    Commented on this photo:

    I am a huge Mel Gibson fan. I am a Muslim so I don’t eat pork but I can empathize with him. Seems like the media is after him to destroy him. Everyone should leave him alone!

  16. Mel Gibson Jewish Hero Movie
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    What a bitch it is getting old. He used to be so good looking.

  17. ChinaSuperficial

    Truly, Hollywood is stranger than fiction.

    @ARB Wrong century. If you are speaking in good faith, go fight the IDF. And please leave your laptop to me in your will.

    @KC Excellent. Too many OJ Simpson puns are never enough.

  18. Clown Shoes

    Hmmm. Is this a stereotype or irony? Jews making a movie with an anti-Semite because it will make money.

  19. Well mazel tov to him. It must have taken a lot of chutzpeh to get this film greenlighted. The way I see it, Mel’s schtick is either going to be awesome and make a pile of gelt, or end up being total drek and make him look even more like a total meshuggener.

  20. karen

    So the hero Maccabee is the one who discovered how to charge 200% over wholesale?

  21. Jinxy

    It’s going to be called Sugar Tits of the Desert, it’s going to be epic and everyone is going to go see it and they will really like and respect the violent, blowjob loving racist again. Yes, this will happen.

  22. XFX

    If he makes this movie historically accurate, it’s not going to please many Jews.

  23. Bill jablonski

    So what if he hates jews…the guy knows story structure…can’t wait to see this movie.

  24. Dan

    I still cannot get over the threat of arson for no fellatio. Seriously, it is not like this guy doesn’t have a whole line of women waiting around the corner to service him.

  25. Raptor

    Yeah, he looks sane and well medicated. Just don’t feed him jewish propaganda after midnight.

  26. Deina

    I don’t watch anything Mel Gibson is in any way involved in, or even any of his older stuff that I used to watch and like, because I am so turned off by the crazy, sick, ugly, angry person he has become, and maybe always was. The world will be a better place when he’s no longer in it.

    • Aussie Mama

      considering sooooo many movies are produced by ico eg; ‘Precious’, that’s a whole lotta movies your missing out on….

  27. Aussie Mama

    It will be awesome, his movies always have been and will be. Can’t wait to see it…

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