“Blow me before the Jacuzzi. Blow me before the Jacuzzi. Blow me before the Jacuzzi. Blow ME before the Jacuzzi. Blow me before the Jacuzzi. Blow me before the JACUZZI. Blow me before the Jacuzzi. BLOW me before the Jacuzzi. Blow me before the Jacuzzi….”
When Joe Eszterhas agreed to write the screenplay for The Maccabees, a tale about historical Jewish figure Judah Maccabee, he assumed he’d be working on a “Jewish Braveheart” that would be Mel Gibson‘s apology to the Jewish community for his anti-Semitic rants by delivering them a classic historical epic honoring their heritage. Instead, he was mostly invited over to Mel’s house where he got to listen to constant rants about killing Oksana Grigorieva and if they did work on the movie, it mostly went something like this: “What’s this guy’s name again? Eh, fuck it, we’ll call him Hebe 1.” Surprisingly this lead to a horrible screenwriting process that resulted in Warner Bros. rejecting the script and Joe writing a letter to Mel Gibson now published on The Wrap which would be shocking and alarming if it were about a normal person, but it’s Mel Gibson so it all sounds exactly right. On that note, I posted some excerpts below the jump so I hope you like hearing about how Pope John Paul IV was a filthy Kike agent who destroyed the Catholic church so Mel Gibson really had no choice but to co-opt Jewish history to convert them all to Christianity:
On Those Rotten, Stinking “Hebes”
- You continually called Jews “Hebes” and “oven-dodgers” and “Jewboys.” It seemed that most times when we discussed someone, you asked “He’s a Hebe, isn’t he?” You said most “gatekeepers” of American companies were “Hebes” who “controlled their bosses.”
- You said the Holocaust was “mostly a lot of horseshit.” You said the Torah made reference to the sacrifice of Christian babies and infants. When I told you that you were confusing the Torah with The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, … you insisted “it’s in the Torah — it’s in there!” (It isn’t).
- You said that Vatican II, which stripped Catholic liturgy of anti-semitic prayers, “destroyed the church” and you said that Pope Paul VI wore an ephod, the symbol of Jewish high priesthood, once worn by Caiphas, the high priest at the time Jesus was crucified. You said that a “liberal Jewish conspiracy” was responsible for the death of Pope John Paul I, Albino Luciani, a conspiracy which your father, Hutton, told me was completed when a cardinal sat on the Pope’s face and suffocated him.
- “What I really want to do with this movie,” you said, “is to convert the Jews to Christianity.”
- I was looking forward, too, to working with the two “biblical advisors” you had picked. But as time passed, I realized that one of the advisors, a Catholic priest — whom you called “Father Fucko” — a friend of yours who’d advised you on The Passion, made time only for half a day conversation with me. And your other advisor — whom you called “Rabbi Clueless” — a rabbi who defended you during The Passion controversy, made time only for a forty-minute telephone conversation.
And now for the parts of the letter where Mel would go into hysterical fits talking about Oksana Grigorieva and lament how she stole his good looks with her goddamn devil magic. You can’t make this shit up:
On Killing Oksana Grigorieva, Preferably During Anal
- You kept raging about your ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, Luci’s mother, whom you always referred to as “that cunt” and “that fucking bitch.” You acted out for me the scene where you hit her. But you said you’d “just slapped her a little bit.”
- “I want that cunt gone!” you screamed. “Gone! Gone! Gone! I will not share Luci with her!” And: “I’m going to get rid of her. No one will ever know! I’m not going to live this way the rest of my life! She’s poisoning Luci against me! She is evil! They worship the devil where she came from. She’s going to disappear! Gone!”
- And then you were even more explicit about your threat: “I’m going to kill her! I’m going to have her killed!” You said you’d become friends with two FBI agents (or former FBI agents) and they were going to help you to kill her.
- “I want to fuck her (Oksana) in the ass and stab her to death while I’m doing it.” [Fun Fact: This was said to Eszterhas' 15-year-old kid. - SW]
- “I look so fucking old! I look horrible! That fucking whore is destroying me! She’s taking my looks! I hate her! She’s destroying my life!”
Mel has since responded with an open letter of his own to TMZ where he doesn’t even try to deny half of this but instead cops to “reacting strongly.”
I will acknowledge like most creative people I am passionate and intense. I was very frustrated that when you arrived at my home at the expense of both Warner Brothers and myself you hadn’t written a single word of a script or even an outline after 15 months of research, meetings, discussions and the outpouring of my heartfelt vision for this story. I did react more strongly than I should have. I promptly sent you a written apology, the colorful words of which you apparently now find offensive. Let me now clearly apologize to you and your family in the simplest of terms.
“Listen, Joe, we’re both creative types. And sometimes, in the heat of the moment, us creative types reveal complicated plots to use former FBI agents to anally rape the mother of our child while simultaneously stabbing her to death. We can’t help it! It’s in our blood. Mostly because those stinkin’ Hebes put it there after murdering Jesus and destroying the holy church, but I don’t like to point fingers. Except at Hebes. The Hebes did it.”