“Blow me before the Jacuzzi. Blow me before the Jacuzzi. Blow me before the Jacuzzi. Blow ME before the Jacuzzi. Blow me before the Jacuzzi. Blow me before the JACUZZI. Blow me before the Jacuzzi. BLOW me before the Jacuzzi. Blow me before the Jacuzzi….”
When Joe Eszterhas agreed to write the screenplay for The Maccabees, a tale about historical Jewish figure Judah Maccabee, he assumed he’d be working on a “Jewish Braveheart” that would be Mel Gibson‘s apology to the Jewish community for his anti-Semitic rants by delivering them a classic historical epic honoring their heritage. Instead, he was mostly invited over to Mel’s house where he got to listen to constant rants about killing Oksana Grigorieva and if they did work on the movie, it mostly went something like this: “What’s this guy’s name again? Eh, fuck it, we’ll call him Hebe 1.” Surprisingly this lead to a horrible screenwriting process that resulted in Warner Bros. rejecting the script and Joe writing a letter to Mel Gibson now published on The Wrap which would be shocking and alarming if it were about a normal person, but it’s Mel Gibson so it all sounds exactly right. On that note, I posted some excerpts below the jump so I hope you like hearing about how Pope John Paul IV was a filthy Kike agent who destroyed the Catholic church so Mel Gibson really had no choice but to co-opt Jewish history to convert them all to Christianity:
On Those Rotten, Stinking “Hebes”
- You continually called Jews “Hebes” and “oven-dodgers” and “Jewboys.” It seemed that most times when we discussed someone, you asked “He’s a Hebe, isn’t he?” You said most “gatekeepers” of American companies were “Hebes” who “controlled their bosses.”
- You said the Holocaust was “mostly a lot of horseshit.” You said the Torah made reference to the sacrifice of Christian babies and infants. When I told you that you were confusing the Torah with The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, … you insisted “it’s in the Torah — it’s in there!” (It isn’t).
- You said that Vatican II, which stripped Catholic liturgy of anti-semitic prayers, “destroyed the church” and you said that Pope Paul VI wore an ephod, the symbol of Jewish high priesthood, once worn by Caiphas, the high priest at the time Jesus was crucified. You said that a “liberal Jewish conspiracy” was responsible for the death of Pope John Paul I, Albino Luciani, a conspiracy which your father, Hutton, told me was completed when a cardinal sat on the Pope’s face and suffocated him.
- “What I really want to do with this movie,” you said, “is to convert the Jews to Christianity.”
- I was looking forward, too, to working with the two “biblical advisors” you had picked. But as time passed, I realized that one of the advisors, a Catholic priest — whom you called “Father Fucko” — a friend of yours who’d advised you on The Passion, made time only for half a day conversation with me. And your other advisor — whom you called “Rabbi Clueless” — a rabbi who defended you during The Passion controversy, made time only for a forty-minute telephone conversation.
And now for the parts of the letter where Mel would go into hysterical fits talking about Oksana Grigorieva and lament how she stole his good looks with her goddamn devil magic. You can’t make this shit up:
On Killing Oksana Grigorieva, Preferably During Anal
- You kept raging about your ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, Luci’s mother, whom you always referred to as “that cunt” and “that fucking bitch.” You acted out for me the scene where you hit her. But you said you’d “just slapped her a little bit.”
- “I want that cunt gone!” you screamed. “Gone! Gone! Gone! I will not share Luci with her!” And: “I’m going to get rid of her. No one will ever know! I’m not going to live this way the rest of my life! She’s poisoning Luci against me! She is evil! They worship the devil where she came from. She’s going to disappear! Gone!”
- And then you were even more explicit about your threat: “I’m going to kill her! I’m going to have her killed!” You said you’d become friends with two FBI agents (or former FBI agents) and they were going to help you to kill her.
- “I want to fuck her (Oksana) in the ass and stab her to death while I’m doing it.” [Fun Fact: This was said to Eszterhas' 15-year-old kid. - SW]
- “I look so fucking old! I look horrible! That fucking whore is destroying me! She’s taking my looks! I hate her! She’s destroying my life!”
Mel has since responded with an open letter of his own to TMZ where he doesn’t even try to deny half of this but instead cops to “reacting strongly.”
I will acknowledge like most creative people I am passionate and intense. I was very frustrated that when you arrived at my home at the expense of both Warner Brothers and myself you hadn’t written a single word of a script or even an outline after 15 months of research, meetings, discussions and the outpouring of my heartfelt vision for this story. I did react more strongly than I should have. I promptly sent you a written apology, the colorful words of which you apparently now find offensive. Let me now clearly apologize to you and your family in the simplest of terms.
“Listen, Joe, we’re both creative types. And sometimes, in the heat of the moment, us creative types reveal complicated plots to use former FBI agents to anally rape the mother of our child while simultaneously stabbing her to death. We can’t help it! It’s in our blood. Mostly because those stinkin’ Hebes put it there after murdering Jesus and destroying the holy church, but I don’t like to point fingers. Except at Hebes. The Hebes did it.”
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet
That’s right, Mel. Your mail-order ex-bride is robbing you of your looks. Not time, the stress of mental illness, or your raging addiction to alcohol.
Did he borrow Gary Busey’s motorcycle?
Good grief what a dick.
I love a good Mel Gibson rant. And I thought today was just gonna be a regular Rita Rustic Thursday… Good stuff.
Mel’s looks are going because he’s been swallowed by one of the seven deadly sins: Anger.
This is shocking stuff. He seems like such a nice level headed kinda guy.
It must have been the firewater talking. No one is anti semitic anymore…..that’s so 2nd millenium.
Everyone should click on that link to The Wrap and its reprint of Joe Ezsterhas’s letter because holy fucking shit. There’s a lot more choice stuff that Fish didn’t include because, I dunno, he didn’t want to overwhelm you, I guess. Some examples:
• “You told me that the mothers of the last three Popes…were Jewish, and you said there was a Jewish/Masonic conspiracy to destroy the Catholic church—its final architect Pope John Paul the Great, whom you called ‘the anti-Christ.’ ”
• “I asked to go to Israel and speak with biblical scholars there… But you rejected that and said ‘My guys here know much more than those Hebes over there.’ ”
• Mel chases two priests out of his house after a dinner party for disagreeing with him over Vatican II. Ezsterhas and his wife, who are staying with Mel as overnight guests, literally fear for their lives and arm themselves with golf clubs they find in the guestroom closet. Even Gibson’s sister’s husband is concerned for their safety.
• “You live in extreme isolation from the real world. You don’t read newspapers or magazines, you never have the TV on except to watch movies—often your own.. . . I know there are as many guns around your house as crucifixes.”
And more stuff like this. Go. Read the letter. Because holy fucking shit.
(My apologies for misspelling Joe Eszterhas both times.)
Thanks for pointing these out. I read the full story at your suggestion and if it’s all true I am really afraid for the people in Gibson’s life.
I actually believe Eszterhas. This is too much heavy shit to be a lie.
Esterhas must have been super pissed to publicly burn bridges like this.
Gibson is a dangerous kook….his hyper-Catholicism has gone around the bend.
He does look “so fucking old!”
Say what you will about Mel Gibson but the Son of a Bitch knows story structure, snuff film story structure but still story structure……My nipples they hurt when I twist them
I think that Mel’s supposed faith is a red herring here. He is definitely insane. His rantings focus on the Catholic Church, but he is insane, not Catholic. It might be time to ensure that he is not a danger to himself or others (see, e.g. Lohan).
let’s not ensure that he isn’t a danger to himself or others and just let this play out the way that our Lord and Savior intended.
I’ve got a feeling that Jesus wants this to go down in the funniest way possible.
Going down over a CA cliffside with an empty booze bottle and a bible on the seat next to him is my best guess.
FREEDOM!
I think that unless Gregorieva’s on his lap he ain’t going. The real issue is this: If you deliberately drive off a cliff while fucking someone you’re not married to up the ass, is that considered an actual state of grace, or at least three mortal sins? Discuss.
I’ve always believed that my Savior has a sense of humor. Oh, and in case anyone’s wondering? As a Catholic, Mel does not speak on my behalf. He’s just flat-out fucking nuts.
I’m more worried he’s going to try to take his kid, or his ex with him. I don’t give a shit how he goes out. I just want to make sure he goes out alone.
Just accept it as part of god’s plan like when he sucks kids up in a tornado and shits them down on the other side of the trailer park.
He has symptoms of heavy metal poisoning…
A lot of mental cases pervert their religion like this. His hyper -catholicism is clearly a sign that he is insane. How is he not heavily medicated, in a padded room and strapped to a table by now?
They better ward him and take his kids away from him before he kills one of them.
religion perverts a lot of mental cases.
fixed it for you.
a lot of perverts are religious mental cases?
Doesn’t he realize how hurtful his words are and the long-term consequences of them?
I’m not talking about Jews… they’re too tough for that. They’ve had way worse thrown at them and survived and thrived.
But poor Jodie Foster just saw all projected profits of future DVD rentals of “The Beaver” get flushed down the toilet.
Damn you, Mel Gibson!
a Catholic priest — whom you called “Father Fucko”
HAHAHAHAHA, i’m fucking dying here
Anyone want to take bets on a new, Odd Couple-esque show called “The Misadventures of Rabbi Clueless and Father Fucko”?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keeping_the_Faith
(I’m guessing. I’ve never actually seen this movie.)
I have. You nailed it.
BTW, the “nailed it” comment should in no way be taken as a mockery of the Crucifixion. Anyone who’s Catholic is already suffering enough today.
now that really made me laugh.
Mel Gibson, you are a fucking genius coming up with the names you invent.
From now on I shall be FATHER SUGARTITS FUCKO.
“daddy, what a beautiful young woman you’ve become”
Sugar tits. Sugar tits. Where are you Sugar tits?
What a crock, this writer is just pissed because he can’t write for shit. Anyone dumb enough to believe this shit he wrote is the one who needs to see a psychiatrist and go on meds. Wake up to yourselves this is just another media bashup of bullshit. Hiding with golf clubs get real, why didn’t the ugly bag of shit just take his wife and fuck off home. Going to kill Gregorieva, if he was going to do that he would have done it by now. GO MEL fuck these shitbag idiots
Hey Mel,
Gladiator was much better than Braveheart.
I’m just saying.
Wow, I understand this is a gossip sight and not a news outlet, but it’s amazing how skewed your take on this is. Joe had over a year to turn in a script while WB and Mel paid his expenses. When he finally turned it in the studio rejected it so now he’s lashing out.
To say this film was an apology is moronic considering how long WB has been working on it with Icon. And to not see a drunk, drug addict like Joe is trying to cover his ass is either shocking naive or intentionally obtuse for a weak agenda.
Since Judah Maccabee never married and didn’t seem to be particularly interested in women, my guess is that Eszteraus couldn’t proceed – there was nowhere to insert his trademark line: “She’s the fuck of the century”.
Is there any reason to believe this massive list of offenses was the result of an experienced hollywood writer having a script rejected and “lashing out?” And who said he’s a drug addicted drunk?
And conversely, is there any reason to assume Mel Gibson is telling the truth with his past instances of racist screeds and insane behavior with regards to his ex?
The world needs ditch diggers too. And apparently gullible apologists also.
“And who said he’s a drug addicted drunk?”
For one? Joe Eszerthas in his biography, which is, of course, not mentioned in the article nor is the fact he has been caught in the press for lying publicly about events.
Doesn’t surprise me you didnt know that since it’s easier to run with the bigot story. Gibson doesn’t need me defending him, I just get annoyed that idiots run wild with quotes from a guy who destroyed his career thru booze and lying.
Hemoc–you are quite the humanitarian. Sorry some internet troll doesn’t give Mell Fucking Gibson the benefit of the doubt. Welcome to the internet fucko.
Got it, glad you can admit you are wrong when you said something stupid. Please continue talking about shit you know nothing about.
By the way, how much does working for Mel’s PR agent pay nowadays?
Um……Mel? It’s the alcohol destroying your looks.
He is so off the charts crazy. I’ll bet he pulls an OJ and just starts wasting people.
The letter would make a really good screen play. Sean Penn could play the batshit crazy former movie star and Ryan Gosling could play the writer.
Who would play the Russian wife?
…………..and introducing IRINA SHAYK as the Russian wife.
Lindsay Lohan of course.
Does he like juice with his vodka?
Be specific here. Are you talking orange Jews? Grapefruit Jews? What? If Mel’s going to be tempted to go off the wagon it better be for a good reason.
Joe Esterhas is sick Charles Manson looking freak who’s idea of creativity is to think of new ways to degrade women. If Mel had murdered that furry pig in his sleep, the world would be a better place.
All of these rants are why I love Mel! He is a real man!
I think what Mel needs is a good old-fashioned ass kicking. Someone desperately needs to knock him down a few pegs – Eszterhas, you had your chance and you blew it buddy.
“The Jew comments were just a misunderstanding… just like Whitney misunderstood me when I told her ‘Always have blowJOB before jacuzzi’. Dammit, people just don’t listen properly.”
Who knew he’d go all the way from having a nice naked ass in Lethal Weapon to being a Russian banging alcoholic with no dignity?
Mel Gibson and Michael Lohan are the same person
It’s Pope Paul VI
not Pop John Paul IV
It looks like no one here has done any independent thinking…Mel take a number i was hating way before you,it’s fucking ridiculous the amount of sucking in this forum of molested cocks..Mel Gibson is a great man, talented actor and producer..We Europeans still know the truth..
This brings me back to my childhood, spending sunday evenings with my grandmother, her drinking schlitz beer and ranting endlessly about the darkys and the heebs, getting herself worked up into such a froth of drunken hate fueled anger she’d forget all about the lit pall mall in her fingers until it got all the way down to the butt and burned her finger, which she would promptly blame on whatever race or religious group she had been ranting about at the time in a string of profanity that she would weave together like a magical tapestry of insane bigotry. Good times, good times!.
Mel Gibson has accomplished many works in his life, born in 1956 I think,.A 5 time Academy Award Winner for ‘Braveheart’ an excellent film the man has looks and talent, but even in the first 15 minutes of BRAVEHEART he uses a king, to denounce homosexuality, Mel seems to be clinging so hard to his hard driven consciousness, That he has clung to hate for this long. “Hate is Bad” says new song by LMFAO ..so mel, try to let go of your hatred,..because we will make sure you never work again,..Start counting your pennies, Lad..
My best Guess is in Hollywood Language, Mel did sleep his way to the top..for him it was easy,.He gave himself to a “Temptations” now some painful memory is eating him alive, he is taking it out on woman, but ‘Remedy” this, woman scorned By Mel Gibson,.not to worry,.we will make sure you live in peace. Truelly speaking, just say “no” to this cartoon named Mel Gibson
bla bla bla. Mel rocks….Oksana who? Move on….
I’d gladly fuck her up the ass, but stabbing her too? C’mon, dude…WTF.
mel who???????