Megan Fox’s plan to replace Angelina Jolie going nicely

January 28th, 2009 // 85 Comments

While she waits for her adoption papers to clear, Megan Fox has been given a golden opportunity to replace Angelina Jolie thus delaying her plans to eventually stab the Oscar winning actress and eat her soul to complete the transformation. Too scientific? My bad. Long story short, Megan Fox is up for the role of Lara Croft in a new Tomb Raider film. E! News reports:

According to the Hollywood Reporter, the third film will completely reboot the video-game-based character, including changing her origin story (most likely shying away from her English aristocracy roots), and introduce new kinds of missions, love interests and villains.
And, most notably, a new leading lady.
While producers say an actress likely won’t be cast until a writer and director have signed on, Fox has emerged as the frontrunner replacement, at least as far as the blogosphere is concerned.

I had no idea a pair of implants and tattoos could be so effective. That gives me an idea….

UPDATE: So, apparently, getting a Yosemite Sam tattoo does not make you a suitable replacement for Hugh Jackman. I don’t even know how to describe how messed up that is. Seriously, Hollywood, you’re just being weird now.

Photos: Getty
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  1. NEVER BACK DOWN MAN

    LOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK IT LOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK IT

  2. ToTellTheTruth

    very beautiful young lady…

  3. Thomas Paine

    Nothing can make up for the fact that she is romantically linked to Brian Austin Green. That alone makes her a complete waste of a human.

  4. benjaminbutton55

    First???
    Gonna say, wow, nice boobs!! always love tall girls with beautiful long legs and killing figure, check out === TallMatching.com === you can always find your dream girl!!!lol XOXOXOXOXOXO

  5. gits

    There’s really not much similarity. Megan Fox is a hottie who does the Jessica Alba (and a zillion others) “oh it’s so awful, I don’t think I’m attractive at all!” self-serving neurotic bullshit. Angelina Jolie is a boundaryless psycho who equally enjoys adopting exotic kids and giving her brother a handjob as a greeting. Also she’s a human-praying mantis hybrid who’s sucking the life out of her husband rather than simply biting his head off after he ejaculates (maybe he’s never allowed to?). So, really, she’s kinda different.

  6. Charles few

    Scary Mantis-with-tits to be replaced by scary Giraffe-torso-tranny.

    Pfft.

  7. Melissa

    Re:gits I’m assuming you weren’t beastfed as a child…

  8. #3 – that is so true!!!

    Gee, those tats really are classy Megan.

  9. TwoMinutesToRapeFest

    Does anybody else want to wear her skin while robbing a bank on speed?

  10. Ummm...yeah...

    #1,
    Didn’t I tell your stupid ass to calm the fuck down before, it’s obvious you need to take your meds…You are totally a waste of skin, and we all know you lack a social life…must be lack of penis…
    Anyway, I don’t recall Lara Croft ever having a tattoo. There they go again, trying to fuck up my video game…Fuck Hollywood!
    I’m sick of all these bitches!!!!!!!
    Where the fuck is my gun???

  11. Uncle Eccoli

    I don’t understand why everybody seems to think she’s so attractive. I suspect it’s because they’ve been told to. I find her average looking at best and I don’t at all care for the way she squashes her tits up against her breastbone.

  12. Dick Fister

    She is so hot I would totally drink her bath water…

    before she took a bath of course…

    and if the tub was clean…

    and the water was cold.

    But I would totally drink it!

  13. jrz

    Isn’t she dating that fucking douchebag from the original 90210?

  14. jrz

    EW! She IS! Brian Austin Green. He’s such a tool. And so that makes her a tool. A tool fucker.

  15. Hi

    Megan Fox is not capable of becoming as classy and well-spoken as Angelina. Seriously, have you ever even heard her speak, or are you just going by the pictures?

  16. dee

    As long as it’s not maneater Jolie, I will go see the film.

  17. Fat Chicks Suck

    She’s hot…but there are plenty of chicks out there hotter. The tattoos are a big turn-off…and the way she carries herself is just annoying. Her body is pretty nice though.

  18. diddleysquat

    The way I see it is:
    Fox: loves d*ck, friend to man
    Jolie: loves to bite d*cks off, manhater
    Fox FTW all day, everyday

  19. Mr. Sensitive

    I’d make wild passionate love to her, the way Robert De Niro did to Illeana Douglas in “Cape Fear.” Although I’d probably bite her ass.

  20. Sgt. C. Foxtrot

    I’m not the only one who thinks she’s a butterface, right?

  21. pookie

    Gawd she’s so pathetic. There can be only one Jolie. Cheap ugly imitations are worthless.

  22. che-che

    looks like she has more ass than angelina, which is important if you are going to be wearing tiny shorts. angelina had no back side. they should just got some mexican novela actress to play lara croft. we can get the complete package, plus a sexy accent. so what if lara croft is british. give a spanish accent any day.

  23. yuki

    fox is soo hot ,

  24. Max Planck

    Tattoos suck!

  25. Deacon Jones

    God,

    I would cut off left pinkie to pump that ass for a night

  26. 10. Ummm…yeah…

    I know what you mean, im so pissed off they take a perfect game and fuck it up. JUST LIKE RESIDENT EVIL, DOOM, etc

    Honestly, I loved angelina jolie as tomb raider, but it was the directors fault for making the story line so lame. Now they want to hire a dumb ass director and this megan fox to be tomb raider … are you serious? She killed transformers with her horrible acting and now she wants to dig a new grave for tomb raider…. >_<

  27. p0nk

    lol @14 “toolFucker”

  28. The Most Intelligent Person in the World (Formerly Dëlgo)

    She looks like my ex.
    Anyone buy that?

  29. w

    This was all so calculated. Her little comments about bisexuality and loving sex. I bet she’s frigid and hompphobic as heck, these people are so manufacture it’s nauseating, useless pupets is all they are.

  30. Kat

    Don’t like her one bit. She is hot, but too porny and lame. Tries way too hard, and I bet she’s dumb as hell. Annoying voice! I also agree with the other poster Pistolita? about her arms being large for her bod. Google her thumbs.

    Jennifer Aniston should pay her to seduce Brad Pitt away from Angelina.

  31. WTF!

    OHH….HELL NO! She’s gonna kill my love for Tomb Raider. She can’t act and her voice is annoying as fawk. Sure she is pretty but I rather see her in magazines then movies. But if I was to see a moving image of her it will be porn!

  32. alex

    She WAS dating brian austin green, she dumped him, they were engaged hahahaha.
    I’d rather have jolie make the 3rd tomb raider, Megan is ok but Jolie kicks ass. Why would they change her accent?!!! She is a lady that is far from being a lady! Why would they change that?!!! I hate hollywood! Go Lara Croft!

  33. Alex

    As someone who’s played the game, neither of these chicks even look like Lara Croft!

  34. no

    Ha! thats right ruin Tomb Raider all over again.

  35. sushi

    Angelina Jolie, in her sack of a dress, has lost any sexuality she once had. She is much older looking that her years and is way too skinny.

    Megan Fox was much prettier before she decided to morph into Jolie. She’s already has so much plastic surgery and botox she resembles a beautiful corpse that has just been embalmed.

    Hotter women exist who are beautiful, with natural tits and natural faces.

  36. Right Fury

    @15

    LOL Jolie? classy? She’s a bisexual baby factory that used to have a trailer in the back yard to “relax” in and a shrine to elvis.

    Oh and I’ll never forget the time her and BBT showed up on the red carpet and they said “we just fu$*ed in the limo on the way here”

    Claaaaaaassssy.

    Although she really does like firearms so that’s a plus.

  37. BILL

    CLASS dismissed & ignorance is BLISS!! I LOVE THIS B*TCH!!!

  38. Gimme 45 minutes with her, and me, her, my manaconda and my handycam will film “Womb Raider”…

  39. dude

    I don’t give a crap who she’s dating you all know we’d all bang her in a heartbeat, she’s cream of the hollywood crop! And yeah a waaay hotter version of crazyeyes Angelina. That said she won’t have my total respect till she’s done nude lesbian scenes like Jolie did in Gia.

  40. Jrz

    heh heh Richport said Womb Raider

    If it were me, it would be Broom Raider. AHAHA
    If it were Morrissey, it would be Gloom Raider
    If it were a hippie it would be ‘Shroom Raider
    If it were some dude getting married it would be Groom Raider

    *sighs* I could do the entire alphabet

  41. Jrz

    Hey p0nk tool f0cker

  42. #40

    If it was a suicide bomber, Boom Raider?
    If it was a digital camera, Zoom Raider?
    If it was a weaver, Loom Raider?
    If it was a muffler thief, Vroom Raider..?

  43. I’d love to be a Fox-f0cker…

  44. Uh. Everyone thinks she’s so attractive because she is. Seriously.

  45. Fox is a barbie doll, not an action hero

    They need to find an actress who’s either English or capable of affecting an English accent. Fox can’t even say hi without it sounding forced. Geez. Get Alexa Davalos or someone of that ilk. At least we know Alexa can do action (Chronicles of Riddick).

  46. kitty

    there is something fake and awkward about her not just the boobs…

  47. e-rock

    here’s the deal, like it or not, Jolie is a unique individual, GORGEOUS, and crazy to boot. I actually like crazy, and even though Im a straight female, would hop in the sack with her ANY day. This chick, can’t act to save her life, mildy attractive, but only because she’s trying her best to BE Jolie.
    Jolie rocks,
    this chick SUCKS.

  48. Charles few

    #47, are you commenting through a wormhole from 1999, or did you miss the past 9 years of Jolie becoming as banal and boring as Sandra Bullock?

  49. isitin

    #24, I agree with you, tattoo’s suck.

  50. Alex

    @ 47
    I agree with you, Im a straight female but I would jump into bed with jolie in a heart bit. She hasn’t become boring #48, just cos she has kids and decided to start a family doesnt mean she’s boring! I still think she is a filthy bitch in the sack.

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