While she waits for her adoption papers to clear, Megan Fox has been given a golden opportunity to replace Angelina Jolie thus delaying her plans to eventually stab the Oscar winning actress and eat her soul to complete the transformation. Too scientific? My bad. Long story short, Megan Fox is up for the role of Lara Croft in a new Tomb Raider film. E! News reports:
According to the Hollywood Reporter, the third film will completely reboot the video-game-based character, including changing her origin story (most likely shying away from her English aristocracy roots), and introduce new kinds of missions, love interests and villains.
And, most notably, a new leading lady.
While producers say an actress likely won’t be cast until a writer and director have signed on, Fox has emerged as the frontrunner replacement, at least as far as the blogosphere is concerned.
I had no idea a pair of implants and tattoos could be so effective. That gives me an idea….
UPDATE: So, apparently, getting a Yosemite Sam tattoo does not make you a suitable replacement for Hugh Jackman. I don’t even know how to describe how messed up that is. Seriously, Hollywood, you’re just being weird now.
NEVER BACK DOWN MAN | January 28, 2009 at 12:07 pm
LOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK IT LOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK ITLOL FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST SUCK IT
ToTellTheTruth | January 28, 2009 at 12:08 pm
very beautiful young lady…
Thomas Paine | January 28, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Nothing can make up for the fact that she is romantically linked to Brian Austin Green. That alone makes her a complete waste of a human.
benjaminbutton55 | January 28, 2009 at 12:10 pm
First???
Gonna say, wow, nice boobs!! always love tall girls with beautiful long legs and killing figure, check out === TallMatching.com === you can always find your dream girl!!!lol XOXOXOXOXOXO
gits | January 28, 2009 at 12:15 pm
There’s really not much similarity. Megan Fox is a hottie who does the Jessica Alba (and a zillion others) “oh it’s so awful, I don’t think I’m attractive at all!” self-serving neurotic bullshit. Angelina Jolie is a boundaryless psycho who equally enjoys adopting exotic kids and giving her brother a handjob as a greeting. Also she’s a human-praying mantis hybrid who’s sucking the life out of her husband rather than simply biting his head off after he ejaculates (maybe he’s never allowed to?). So, really, she’s kinda different.
Charles few | January 28, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Scary Mantis-with-tits to be replaced by scary Giraffe-torso-tranny.
Pfft.
Melissa | January 28, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Re:gits I’m assuming you weren’t beastfed as a child…
Sportsdvl | January 28, 2009 at 12:22 pm
#3 – that is so true!!!
Gee, those tats really are classy Megan.
TwoMinutesToRapeFest | January 28, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Does anybody else want to wear her skin while robbing a bank on speed?
Ummm...yeah... | January 28, 2009 at 12:26 pm
#1,
Didn’t I tell your stupid ass to calm the fuck down before, it’s obvious you need to take your meds…You are totally a waste of skin, and we all know you lack a social life…must be lack of penis…
Anyway, I don’t recall Lara Croft ever having a tattoo. There they go again, trying to fuck up my video game…Fuck Hollywood!
I’m sick of all these bitches!!!!!!!
Where the fuck is my gun???
Uncle Eccoli | January 28, 2009 at 12:31 pm
I don’t understand why everybody seems to think she’s so attractive. I suspect it’s because they’ve been told to. I find her average looking at best and I don’t at all care for the way she squashes her tits up against her breastbone.
Dick Fister | January 28, 2009 at 12:34 pm
She is so hot I would totally drink her bath water…
before she took a bath of course…
and if the tub was clean…
and the water was cold.
But I would totally drink it!
jrz | January 28, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Isn’t she dating that fucking douchebag from the original 90210?
jrz | January 28, 2009 at 12:42 pm
EW! She IS! Brian Austin Green. He’s such a tool. And so that makes her a tool. A tool fucker.
Hi | January 28, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Megan Fox is not capable of becoming as classy and well-spoken as Angelina. Seriously, have you ever even heard her speak, or are you just going by the pictures?
dee | January 28, 2009 at 12:44 pm
As long as it’s not maneater Jolie, I will go see the film.
Fat Chicks Suck | January 28, 2009 at 12:49 pm
She’s hot…but there are plenty of chicks out there hotter. The tattoos are a big turn-off…and the way she carries herself is just annoying. Her body is pretty nice though.
diddleysquat | January 28, 2009 at 12:51 pm
The way I see it is:
Fox: loves d*ck, friend to man
Jolie: loves to bite d*cks off, manhater
Fox FTW all day, everyday
Mr. Sensitive | January 28, 2009 at 12:54 pm
I’d make wild passionate love to her, the way Robert De Niro did to Illeana Douglas in “Cape Fear.” Although I’d probably bite her ass.
Sgt. C. Foxtrot | January 28, 2009 at 12:58 pm
I’m not the only one who thinks she’s a butterface, right?
pookie | January 28, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Gawd she’s so pathetic. There can be only one Jolie. Cheap ugly imitations are worthless.
che-che | January 28, 2009 at 1:05 pm
looks like she has more ass than angelina, which is important if you are going to be wearing tiny shorts. angelina had no back side. they should just got some mexican novela actress to play lara croft. we can get the complete package, plus a sexy accent. so what if lara croft is british. give a spanish accent any day.
yuki | January 28, 2009 at 1:09 pm
fox is soo hot ,
Max Planck | January 28, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Tattoos suck!
Deacon Jones | January 28, 2009 at 1:10 pm
God,
I would cut off left pinkie to pump that ass for a night
Your_a_snooty_booty | January 28, 2009 at 1:13 pm
10. Ummm…yeah…
I know what you mean, im so pissed off they take a perfect game and fuck it up. JUST LIKE RESIDENT EVIL, DOOM, etc
Honestly, I loved angelina jolie as tomb raider, but it was the directors fault for making the story line so lame. Now they want to hire a dumb ass director and this megan fox to be tomb raider … are you serious? She killed transformers with her horrible acting and now she wants to dig a new grave for tomb raider…. >_<
p0nk | January 28, 2009 at 1:21 pm
lol @14 “toolFucker”
The Most Intelligent Person in the World (Formerly Dëlgo) | January 28, 2009 at 1:21 pm
She looks like my ex.
Anyone buy that?
w | January 28, 2009 at 1:28 pm
This was all so calculated. Her little comments about bisexuality and loving sex. I bet she’s frigid and hompphobic as heck, these people are so manufacture it’s nauseating, useless pupets is all they are.
Kat | January 28, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Don’t like her one bit. She is hot, but too porny and lame. Tries way too hard, and I bet she’s dumb as hell. Annoying voice! I also agree with the other poster Pistolita? about her arms being large for her bod. Google her thumbs.
Jennifer Aniston should pay her to seduce Brad Pitt away from Angelina.
WTF! | January 28, 2009 at 1:45 pm
OHH….HELL NO! She’s gonna kill my love for Tomb Raider. She can’t act and her voice is annoying as fawk. Sure she is pretty but I rather see her in magazines then movies. But if I was to see a moving image of her it will be porn!
alex | January 28, 2009 at 1:49 pm
She WAS dating brian austin green, she dumped him, they were engaged hahahaha.
I’d rather have jolie make the 3rd tomb raider, Megan is ok but Jolie kicks ass. Why would they change her accent?!!! She is a lady that is far from being a lady! Why would they change that?!!! I hate hollywood! Go Lara Croft!
Alex | January 28, 2009 at 1:58 pm
As someone who’s played the game, neither of these chicks even look like Lara Croft!
no | January 28, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Ha! thats right ruin Tomb Raider all over again.
sushi | January 28, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Angelina Jolie, in her sack of a dress, has lost any sexuality she once had. She is much older looking that her years and is way too skinny.
Megan Fox was much prettier before she decided to morph into Jolie. She’s already has so much plastic surgery and botox she resembles a beautiful corpse that has just been embalmed.
Hotter women exist who are beautiful, with natural tits and natural faces.
Right Fury | January 28, 2009 at 2:40 pm
@15
LOL Jolie? classy? She’s a bisexual baby factory that used to have a trailer in the back yard to “relax” in and a shrine to elvis.
Oh and I’ll never forget the time her and BBT showed up on the red carpet and they said “we just fu$*ed in the limo on the way here”
Claaaaaaassssy.
Although she really does like firearms so that’s a plus.
BILL | January 28, 2009 at 2:50 pm
CLASS dismissed & ignorance is BLISS!! I LOVE THIS B*TCH!!!
RichPort's Ghost | January 28, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Gimme 45 minutes with her, and me, her, my manaconda and my handycam will film “Womb Raider”…
dude | January 28, 2009 at 2:58 pm
I don’t give a crap who she’s dating you all know we’d all bang her in a heartbeat, she’s cream of the hollywood crop! And yeah a waaay hotter version of crazyeyes Angelina. That said she won’t have my total respect till she’s done nude lesbian scenes like Jolie did in Gia.
Jrz | January 28, 2009 at 3:13 pm
heh heh Richport said Womb Raider
If it were me, it would be Broom Raider. AHAHA
If it were Morrissey, it would be Gloom Raider
If it were a hippie it would be ‘Shroom Raider
If it were some dude getting married it would be Groom Raider
*sighs* I could do the entire alphabet
Jrz | January 28, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Hey p0nk tool f0cker
RichPort's Ghost | January 28, 2009 at 3:23 pm
#40
If it was a suicide bomber, Boom Raider?
If it was a digital camera, Zoom Raider?
If it was a weaver, Loom Raider?
If it was a muffler thief, Vroom Raider..?
RichPort's Ghost | January 28, 2009 at 3:27 pm
I’d love to be a Fox-f0cker…
lesss. | January 28, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Uh. Everyone thinks she’s so attractive because she is. Seriously.
Fox is a barbie doll, not an action hero | January 28, 2009 at 3:33 pm
They need to find an actress who’s either English or capable of affecting an English accent. Fox can’t even say hi without it sounding forced. Geez. Get Alexa Davalos or someone of that ilk. At least we know Alexa can do action (Chronicles of Riddick).
kitty | January 28, 2009 at 3:49 pm
there is something fake and awkward about her not just the boobs…
e-rock | January 28, 2009 at 3:58 pm
here’s the deal, like it or not, Jolie is a unique individual, GORGEOUS, and crazy to boot. I actually like crazy, and even though Im a straight female, would hop in the sack with her ANY day. This chick, can’t act to save her life, mildy attractive, but only because she’s trying her best to BE Jolie.
Jolie rocks,
this chick SUCKS.
Charles few | January 28, 2009 at 4:21 pm
#47, are you commenting through a wormhole from 1999, or did you miss the past 9 years of Jolie becoming as banal and boring as Sandra Bullock?
isitin | January 28, 2009 at 4:50 pm
#24, I agree with you, tattoo’s suck.
Alex | January 28, 2009 at 5:12 pm
@ 47
I agree with you, Im a straight female but I would jump into bed with jolie in a heart bit. She hasn’t become boring #48, just cos she has kids and decided to start a family doesnt mean she’s boring! I still think she is a filthy bitch in the sack.