Here are rare, candid shots of Megan Fox in a bikini over the weekend and is anyone else kind of disappointed by these? Maybe I’ve been spoiled by all those professional shoots in GQ, Rolling Stone, etc. but when you hear the words “Megan Fox in a bikini,” you expect fireworks to cascade out of her vagina as she sits astride a unicorn reading funny words on the Internet that touch her like no man has ever touched her before. Instead, we get a skinny chick with obvious implants and Brian Austin Green which is almost the exact opposite of unicorn vagina-works. I’m no “Hollywood insider,” but I’m pretty sure someone should fire her from another movie for this. Otherwise, we’re no different than the apes at the zoo, pleasuring ourselves at whi- GEH.
Can I start that last part over? And perhaps a towel?