MEGAN FOX IN A BIKINI (Insert fireworks here)

September 16th, 2008 // 172 Comments

Megan Fox is featured in the latest issue of GQ and why the hell am I even typing? Here’s a story Megan told during her interview about how, at 18, she dated a female stripper named Nikita. For the five people who will actually look at the text:

“Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided — oh man, sorry, mommy! — that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop,” said Fox. “I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita.”
Fox said Nikita would do “these beautiful slow dances to Aerosmith ballads.” The actress also said she would bring the Russian stripper gifts and try to inspire her to quit her line of work.

Jesus. If Megan Fox can’t get a stripper off the pole with gifts, there’s no hope for the rest of us. Great, now what am I supposed to do with these pots and pans I bought for “Phoenix” down at the Crazy Horse? And before you judge me, I originally tried luring her in with promises of an ironing board, but I ran out of dollar bills before we hit the porch and she ran off.

Photos: GQ

  1. Racer X

    I’d buy that for a dollar!

  2. jo smo

    The next angelina. She’s smokin hot

  3. This one of the best posts here known to date. FTW!!

  4. dude_on

    Bingo – Game | Set | Match – Touchdown – etc.

    Plumpers and gay people start your engines.

  5. chad

    her boobs are so fucking far apart. and she’s way too up herself – you should listen to her talk. beautiful, but completely arrogant.

  6. lex

    her breasts are really, really far apart.

  7. ah… nice visual of me spooging all over her face comes when looking at pic 2

  8. --

    her boobs are waaaayyy to far apart !!

  9. She’s very beautifull, but that stupid story seems staged. I heard it on E last night. Why is she trying to be the new Angelina so hard? Trying to be soooo sensuous and sexual. It’s not working for me.

    She needs better implants too.

  10. Miss Kitty

    Why is her face a different colour to the rest of her body? Also, her head is way to big for that Thai ladyboy body of hers…

  11. it's me Fuckers!

    this woman is just beautiful.

  12. David

    Looks like a shop

  13. Ted Mosby

    She looks dirty.

    I love dirty.

  14. UncleToffee

    hmmm…anyone need a tent pitching?

  15. Lola

    I find this girl really really annoying. I don’t get what ANYONE sees in her at all. She’s pretty, yes. But drop dead beautiful? HELL NO. She’s an average looking girl who just looks like she tries much. There’s too much “I’m flawlessly hot” attitude about her.
    Her blue eyes don’t go with her body, if that makes any sense. She looks like she’s a bit cock-eyes and her eye-brows are just too DARK.
    I can’t stand Angie Ho-lie, but this wanna-be lesbian skank is in NO WAY the next Holie. She’s just another hoe on her own who’s getting movie roles based on how many producers her “nobody” boyfriend B.A.G can make her sleep with

  16. vent

    talk about a makeup whore…her face is so freakin white compared to her body.

  17. Right Fury

    This is the only person that would make me vote for Barack Obama. She’d have to let me hit it for a week though.

  18. GFY

    She’s slightly-above-average-looking.
    Seems like her facial expression never changes.
    And her boobs ARE too far apart (White bikini. Picture #2).

  19. havoc


    I would destroy that. OMG….


  20. Sin

    i think she’s a smokin hot, but who the hell did her make up! that person should be fired immediately. ever heard of matching the face to the neck?! way to mess up a perfectly good photo shoot.

  21. Sin

    on second thought, i take that back…the color is so horrible, it looks like it’s a bad photoshop. face too light, head too big, and i don’t think megan’s actual boobs look like that. who’s body is that and can we not see it again, please? get the real megan fox in a bikini. remember those pics that were posted of her coming out of a lake with the pasties on? yeah, this is NOT her actual body.

  22. KG

    She’s hot enough, in a take me I’m hot and slutty way. But she radiates no intelligence, either in pics or in interviews, and she’s a pretty much lame-o actress. So I think the career, such as it is, isn’t going to extend much further than b-movies and the occasional “hottest girl alive” spread in Maxim.

    The next Angelina Jolie? Not a chance. Jolie may be impossibly full of herself and half crazy, but she’s actually a decent actress and (by Hollywood standards) reasonably intelligent (an intelligence that seems to manifest itself in both pics and interviews).

    In other words: Megan Fox is a one night stand and you’re done. Angelina Jolie maybe a week, and then you’ll watch fondly from the distance as she moves on.

  23. josh

    her face is rough

  24. Juicy

    That fake orange tan is bad.

  25. tabacchifc

    what a wonderfull world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. beautiful

    As a straight female I would have to say she looks INCREDIBLE. I don’t care for pic #2 though on the top but, I like the last picture. I look forward to seeing her in more film, hopefully she will learn to increase the glamour in her photo shoots ala Charlize Theron & Monica Bellucci…she is way too beautiful for plain bikini shots IMHO.

  27. Dude

    Holy bad photoshop Batman!!! They didn’t even put one of her tats in on the second pic…

  28. fairie guy

    Why does she look like a man?

  29. Jamie

    She looks like if Angelina Jolie and Lindsay Lohan had a trashy(er) love child.
    I have freckles too, but i know how to make it look like my head is attached to my body.

  30. Frist

    I wish I was young again and to be that beautuful as opposed to the “last call for drinks pickup girl” that I have always been.

  31. alisa

    ummm so she gets lip injections and now shes the next angelina? wtf.. she still looks hot though…

  32. James

    @21 i remember those pasties.
    Which is why megan fox in a bikini just doesn’t cut it. It’s like going to the grocery store after you eat dinner.

  33. Second

    She looks ugly in these pictures but beautiful in “Transformers.” This photographer is really a piece of shit!

  34. First Time

    Really bad photography and yes her boobs look kind of weird especially pic #2

  35. Mallory

    She looks pretty anorexic in that one of her coming out of the water….

  36. eks


  37. Mallory

    …But I’ll still picture her when i run on the treadmill later. this site has helped me lose 10 pounds!

  38. Martin Luther King

    Her boobs remind me of my people in the 50′s: SEPARATE, NOT EQUAL.

  39. Hatey McWrathenstein

    I’m surprised the entire quote wasn’t put in there, it just gets more bizzare:

    “Look, I’m not a lesbian,” said Fox. “I just think that all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl — Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands. She’s mesmerizing. And lately I’ve been obsessed with Jenna Jameson, but … oh boy.”

  40. Ms. Schwann

    She looka like a man.

  41. California Red

    anybody find it less than appealing that she is with David Silver?

  42. PeterNorth

    Make a movie with me Megan. All my friends know I’ve got love to spare. Keep my love out of your eyes though. Pink eye looks bad in High Def.

  43. 0bserving

    Yep – She sure is

  44. fairie guy

    Are her boobs trying to hide under her armpits?

  45. K.

    What the hell is wrong with her face?

  46. Harry

    I’ve seen her in real life. She lives in my hood. She is this hot. Period.

  47. pistolita

    she is gorgeous, no doubt.


    i am SO annoyed with her blatant attempt to spew out whatever bs she thinks she needs to make men want her. it’s so phony!! so predictable… like “what do men want to hear?” … they want to hear that i am obsessed with sex and that i’m a bisexual and that i dated a stripper…. PLEASE.

  48. pistolita

    plus… she has fat arms.

    i can tell she is trying to hide it with her poses, but they’re there. arms too fat for the rest of her body.

  49. gary

    This bitch suffers from a severe, untreatable case of “trying way too hard to be Angelina Jolie”

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