Megan Fox calls off engagement

The Superficial / July 3, 2008

Megan Fox is single. I should just quit right now because I’ll never report anything than can top this slice of awesome. (Unless Hayden Panettiere decides she hates clothes but loves bloggers.) Anyway, according to the latest issue of Star, Megan has called off her engagement to Brian Austin Green because she’s too young for a commitment:

Sources claim the 22 year-old sent business associates correspondence last week telling them the sad news.
An insider says: “Megan still cares about Brian, but she now realizes she’s too young to marry him.”

True, Megan does have her whole life ahead of her. But I like to believe she woke up one morning, looked beside her then immediately panicked: “Where am I? Brian Austin Green!? Eww! EWW!” Brian, realizing the jig was up, tried to neutralize the situation: “Shh. Shh. You’re okay. Can I interest you in a mixed drink?” When that didn’t work, he frantically phoned Ian Ziering: “Dude, she’s onto us. I dunno how, but we’re toast. Call Priestley; have him fire up the jet. No, we’re not bringing Dustin Diamond. Fuck that guy.”