Megan Fox calls off engagement

July 3rd, 2008 // 46 Comments

Megan Fox is single. I should just quit right now because I’ll never report anything than can top this slice of awesome. (Unless Hayden Panettiere decides she hates clothes but loves bloggers.) Anyway, according to the latest issue of Star, Megan has called off her engagement to Brian Austin Green because she’s too young for a commitment:

Sources claim the 22 year-old sent business associates correspondence last week telling them the sad news.
An insider says: “Megan still cares about Brian, but she now realizes she’s too young to marry him.”

True, Megan does have her whole life ahead of her. But I like to believe she woke up one morning, looked beside her then immediately panicked: “Where am I? Brian Austin Green!? Eww! EWW!” Brian, realizing the jig was up, tried to neutralize the situation: “Shh. Shh. You’re okay. Can I interest you in a mixed drink?” When that didn’t work, he frantically phoned Ian Ziering: “Dude, she’s onto us. I dunno how, but we’re toast. Call Priestley; have him fire up the jet. No, we’re not bringing Dustin Diamond. Fuck that guy.”

superficial

  1. Not sure who this skank is but if she broke up with BAG then she is slowly gaining some IQ points……

  2. David Aames

    Not sure who BAG is but if he got dumped by Megan Fox he is slowly gaining some HAHA YOU LOSE, SUCKER’s from me………

    Also, glad she’s still single.

  3. Seriously...

    Brian Austin Green? The guy that wasn’t even the star of TV Show almost two decades ago? And he’s still alive?

    This means i have a shot with this dizzy bitch. My day just perked up a little.

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  5. result!

    if only there was a way to have her regret-able tattoos removed!

  6. BMurphy72

    That sucks for BAG, I bet she is the Six (Sex) Flags of sex……

  7. sixpack

    Skank? How about…smoking hot!!? God bless the next penis that gets to enjoy that.

  8. Thanks troll #4, but I don’t post like that but appreciate your friendly troll efforts.

  9. DF

    she realizes with her newfound “star” status now. she can bag guys way richer than BAG.

  10. Sportsdvl

    Give it a rest faggot. Everyone knows you are the bitch that keeps plugging that pathetic site of yours. That site is an archaic piece of shit and a waste of breath.

  11. bosendorfer

    of course she did! she only ever spent any time with that guy so as to glean connections and for his financial stability. once she acquired traction and a little prominence, she jetted. she’ll do it again. don’t forget we’re talking about entertainment.

    btw, she is gorgeous. i wonder how many men she’ll sleep with in the next three-to-five years. i bet triple digits OR some 45-55-ish smarmy studio “executive,” nepotized right in by familial ties.

    xo!

  12. #10 – you Mom didn’t seem to think I was a bitch when I gave her a Dirty Sanchez last night and filmed it for the Bang Bus.

  13. Maybe she wants to swing the other way. How’s that for a thought ladies???

  14. Harry

    She was hotter when she was on TV before all the “work”. But no question: the next dick in line is going to be one happy dick.

  15. ph7

    For the record, I have *NOT* called off my boner!

  16. randimae

    She looks like she’s sucked a few dicks. A few dicks inside of a tanning bed. Inside a tanning bed that is also the Circus Tits shop.

  17. Richard McBeef

    Too bad she ruined her body nasty ass tattoos. I’d still fuck it though.

  18. Seriously...

    So….*awkward silence*…….boobs?

    Moving on. What do her tattoos say? I know she has almost an entire block of text inked on her body somewhere, don’t think i’ve actually seen what it says.

  19. Hey dong, why the fuck would they call Dustin Diamond?

    Green, Zering and Priestly were on 90210.
    Diamond was on Saved by the Bell.

    I would also note the first three are pretty okay humans, whereas Diamond is a hairy monkey choach.

    I expect higher levels of shit fact knowledge from you, Superficialman.

  20. Guy

    Hope I don’t look that old at 22

  21. Is she practising for being a PROSTITUTE from now on?

  22. yodolayheehoo

    #4…troll.

    BAG…gawd…I think he’s just smashingly HOT. poor boy. (***gag***)

  23. Kathleen

    Yeah, she definitely looks like she had some work done. Nose job, lip injections…

    Still hot though.

  24. Mike

    Are celebrity bloggers contractually obligated to pretend that this pockmarked, slitty eyed 20 dollar a night Vegas hooker is somehow hot?

  25. Just My Type of Girl

    This is why Megan is better than Alba. Megan called off commitment, whereas Alba had to get knocked up to get/keep a commitment (even from a nobody boyfriend). Alba needs to learn from Megan on how NOT to bore a guy.

  26. free lily

    was he the white rapper from 90210?

  27. Andy

    Brian, Brian, Brian. We’ve been over this. Ya gotta get ‘em locked in BEFORE they have a career of their own.

  28. Seriously...

    Kinda sucks for him. Maybe things will turn around after he’s finished doing the sequel to “Domino”. …wait a sec…..There isn’t going to be a sequel to “Domino” for him to have a bit part in?

    He’s fucked.

  29. boogie

    Hooray!

  30. Bmurphy72

    I think she just made me break my trransformer

  31. PostmortemG

    “if only there was a way to have her regret-able tattoos removed!”

    So true – tattoos look like shit most of the time, especially on girls.

  32. jay

    Looks like every other std-ridden plastic slut in Hollywood. Snore.

  33. jay

    Looks like every other std-ridden plastic slut in Hollywood. Snore.

  34. She has the most amazing eyes.

  35. Steffen

    She is so sexy with the gorgeous dress on her. Is she single now? Her profile was found on the on the wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M for hot guys and girls to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating, “she is so picky about guys!” according to officials of that site, “they have to be fertile douches or she won’t date them!”

  36. Drundel

    Everyone knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. “Too young” means she realized she can do better than BAG. I hope for his sake, he has some video of him plowing her anal he can sell in a few years for big $$$.

  37. La Toya Jackson

    This is exactly why I stopped doin juvederm (lip filler). Costs $600 a pop and doesn’t even look natural.

  38. I still rate her as the hottest in Hollywood at the moment. Tap that.

  39. Her profile was found on the on the wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M for hot guys and girls to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating, but that’s not the half of it! You can also hook up with chimps, monkeys, sheep, yard apes and donkeys if you’re into the whole Mexican donkey show in a dumpster type of thing.

    Click the link and see, you stupid donkey dong suckers!

  40. She is more attractive then most actresses….but…I dont know…..it doesn’t seem like she would be that interesting…who knows….you can find more of her at http://sa.lacio.us………

  41. jbeez

    She’s hot enough to marry a billionaire, not some chump ass has-been.

  42. linda

    You guys wanna meet some one young women like her ? Just go soloparentdate.com !!! Check it out !

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  44. Modwild

    She used to be such a pretty, sexy girl. Why the fuck is a 22 year old girl having her lips plumped. They look ridiculous.

    BAG was on The Sarah Connor Chronicles last season, so he certainly isn’t dead. He has, however, riddled his face and God knows what else with plastic surgery, so they made a pretty good couple, really.

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