Megan Fox Joined Twitter, Okay? Are You F-cking Happy Now?

January 4th, 2013 // 20 Comments
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Megan Fox launched her Twitter account last night, and naturally she did it in the bitchiest way possible via a Facebook post where she makes it abundantly clear she’s above all this shit but, GAWD, if she has to…

Against my better judgment, I have finally joined Twitter. Every possible version of my name is already in use so for now my Twitter handle is
See you there.

Even better is her bio which really makes you wonder why more people aren’t casting her in movies. She seems so down-to-earth:

Megan Fox
Lover. Healer. Mother

Just to put things in perspective, Charlie Sheen has done enough blow to literally believe he’s a military aircraft and even he looked at this and went, “Jesus Christ, lady,” before trying to figure out how much it would cost to have sex with her. “Only a billion? Wow, you’re making this easy on me. Check the couch cushion then meet me back in the bedroom. Bring coke.”

Photos: GSI Media


  1. Who still gives a shit about her? I never did.

  2. karlito

    it’s too bad she can’t act worth shit.

  3. judgingyou

    Who will she offend first?

  4. James

    Everyone’s above Twitter. Also, her Twitter is fun. Star Wars shit.

  5. sarah_m0nster

    And she didn’t think of using her married name, Green. What a bitch

  6. I still think she’s incredibly nice to look at, although I’d much rather look at her by Braille…old man’s eyesight, don’tcha know!

  7. “… so for now my Twitter handle is

    Nobody is surprised that inflatable sexdoll was unable to proof she’s an actual living person.

  8. Nelson Mandela

    Too much plastic surgery turns a very cute girl into a weird half alien, half asian creature.

  9. megan fox is gorgeous no matter what others says !

  10. Megan Fox Bikini Brian Austin Green
    Michael Matheis
    Commented on this photo:


  11. Megan Fox Bikini Brian Austin Green
    Yoda Mann
    Commented on this photo:

    Graffiti. That’s what can really improve a landscape. Idiot.

  12. Megan Fox Bikini Brian Austin Green
    Commented on this photo:

    Another big boobed hooker with a tattooed loser…Who would have thunk….Get a man with a job, not a tinkerbell that likes artsy people, artsy tinkerbells never pay off…..Get a real man.

  13. Megan Fox Bikini Brian Austin Green
    bi chick
    Commented on this photo:

    MF looks AMAZE!
    Has anyone considered they might be bigger due to breast feeding? Weren’t they already fake? Maybe they are just swollen for natural reasons?

  14. Megan Fox Bikini Brian Austin Green
    Commented on this photo:

    Sick thumb

  15. Megan Fox Bikini Brian Austin Green
    Commented on this photo:

    this is as close together as i can get em,
    your gonna need more girth to really enjoy it

  16. Megan Fox Bikini Brian Austin Green
    Commented on this photo:

    Bolt ons

  17. Megan Fox Bikini Brian Austin Green
    Commented on this photo:

    sexy sexy sexy as ever

  18. Megan Fox Bikini Brian Austin Green
    Commented on this photo:

    How it all began…

    Megan: “I think I want a tattoo of an inspirational quote on my right side. What should it be?”

    Shia: “How about, ‘Those who danced were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.’?”

    Megan: “That’s so beautiful. Who said that?”

    Shia: “I did!”

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