Megan Fox Is A Pyramid Truther, You Brainwashed Plebes

“Do you even Ancient Astronauts, bro?”
“I saw Shia LaBeouf’s penis in the pyramids. The pyramids.”

Back in 2013, Megan Fox gave a batshit crazy interview to Esquire where she revealed that not only is she a tongues-speaking, born-again Christian, but she also believes aliens helped build ancient civilizations and leprechauns are real. I’m not even joking. And now she’s back to let the LA Times know that filming Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen fried her fucking brain like a goddamn egg because she wants to quit acting and work with Vice to expose the true secrets of the pyramids. Yup.

On how her intellectual mind is wasted on acting:

“I don’t think acting is my ultimate passion,” she says about a week before the “Ninja Turtles” opening. “I have other skill sets and gifts that are much, much stronger that I am obligated to exercise and use. I’m really more intellectually minded. I’ve always been into alternative history, antiquities, archaeology. I’ve always been really consumed by these deep mysteries that exist on our planet that can’t be explained today by science. They eat away at me.”

On a tour guide telling her the secret of the pyramids because it’s like a law that you have to tell actors the truth. A law:

It all started, she continues, on the set of 2009’s “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” which was partly filmed in Egypt. She and costar Shia LaBeouf were given a tour of of the Great Pyramid of Giza by the Ministry of Antiquities and someone “high-ranking in that field — I will not say who” told the actors that the pyramid was never actually a tomb.
“They presume they may have been some type of energy plant at some point,” says Fox. “The sarcophagus that is in the Great Pyramid was put there by the government for tourism. And that sparked in me an interest in really exposing this sort of thing, because I realized I have access to things I shouldn’t have access to because of what I do for a living.”

On how she’ll use her newfound powers:

“If I ended up working for Vice, that would be a dream. I don’t know how that could ever work, but I do have a little bit of a journalistic streak and I’m also reckless enough to do well in that field, I think.”

But it’ll probably be pointless because you’re all sheep brainwashed by the media you consume. For example, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of The Shadows starring Megan Fox:

“I think people, in general, are plebeians that are brainwashed by the type of media that they expose themselves to. … People anticipate a shallowness [from me]. They anticipate a self-centeredness and a lack of self-awareness. It doesn’t … matter what I say, or how eloquent a speaker I may be, or how positive my intentions may be. I’m going to be made into what people desire me to be. At this moment, they might desire to exalt me onto a pedestal. But the next? You’re a human sacrifice. The control is not in my hands.”

This has been a post where I don’t have to do anything but let Megan Fox’s crazy do all the talking. Money, please!

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Tags: Megan Fox