Brian Austin Green, You ARE The Father

“Mmmmnnnfff, you smell like not shaving for weeks and sleeping til noon.”
“Fuck you, David Silver.”

Because getting to use her vagina as an ATM forever after is just one of the many perks of having sex with Megan Fox, Brian Austin Green has officially plowed a third kid into her. Via TMZ:

Sources connected to the couple tell us the pregnancy just kinda happened … it wasn’t planned. As we reported, Megan and Brian have been close even after she filed her legal docs last August … and now we know just how close.

Did you catch that “according to sources connected to the couple” part? What are the chances that’s anyone other than Brian Austin Green laughing like a hyena with his dick in a briefcase of cash, or Brian Austin Green screaming “It was me! And you want to know the best part, Harvey? Wait for it…I don’t have to be married to her anymore AND SHE HAS TO PAY ME NOWAHAHAHAHA,” on the phone with TMZ. None. There are none chances of that.

Oh look, Megan Fox pregnant in a bikini photos that are now paying for themselves a third time.