“Soo.. you’re getting a C-section, right?”
“Haha, oh, stop.”
“No, seriously.”
Hey, remember Megan Fox? Well, don’t feel bad because she already knows you forgot which is why she decided to announce today that she had a baby three weeks ago without anyone noticing or giving of the fucks because, why? Why would you do this to yourself?! *caresses Transformers DVD* Via Facebook:
We have been very lucky to have had a peaceful few weeks at home, but I would like to release this myself before others do. I gave birth to our son Noah Shannon Green on September 27th. He is healthy, happy, and perfect.
We are humbled to have the opportunity to call ourselves the parents of this beautiful soul and I am forever grateful to God for allowing me to know this kind of boundless, immaculate love.
Thanks to those of you who wish to send your positive energy and well wishes. May God bless you and your families abundantly.
Granted, the boy’s last name is Green, a good way for Brian Austin Green to know for certain if the child is really his is to carry it around naked and see if butterflies land on its penis. Which I swear isn’t some elaborate scheme to get him arrested as a pedophile, but since you asked, you ruined the surprise at the end so now I have to buy them a fucking Bjorn instead. God, you piss me off, you know that?
Photos: ADHI/AKM-GSI
Wonder if he has mom’s stubbly thumbs. Bit of a sucking deficit, there.
The ToeFinger.
i’m stubby-thumbs downing this shit because i have clubbed thumbs and i prefer the term “murderer’s thumb” over “toe thumb.”
“Murderer’s thumb”?! That’s awesome! But why? Is it because the thumb of a murderer has been stitched on and has taken control of the hand? That would be cool.
I just wanted to take a quick stop here @ The Fish to give my regards to the new mother – Megan Fox! Congratulations, beautiful!
Megan has been a starlight since putting Transformers on the map, raking in millions for Michael Bay, a nobody film producer before the series. With the release of Transformers 4 in 2014, and no Megan Fox in the picture, it’s expected to bomb even more so than Transformers 3 did. Without Megan, the series has become a flop.
Randal
Love it!
I hate Bay too but facts are facts. Transformers 3 grossed 1.1 Billion against a 200 mil budget. That’s more than Transformers 2. And without Megan Fox! Bay’s successes before Transformers include Bad Boys, The Rock, Armageddon. Critically he’s crap but Hollywood runs on money not critical acclaim. While Fox got fired for ripping on her boss who gave her her big break. (I’ll go now and hit myself in the balls in shame.)
Whoopee. Another perfect baby in Hollywood. Someone hang a pinata.
If it’s time for baby’s first tattoo you simply can’t go wrong with a Transformer. Kids absolutely love that shit.
She should totally hook up with Jessica Simpson and the two of them can work off the 200 lbs. they both gained during their pregnancy. It would be cool.
Out of the 200, 190 would be Jessica’s so Megan would be done in a week and Jessica in about 10 years.
Megan Fox. Huge Milk Duds.Oatmeal-Raisin Cookies. Such are the things of which dreams are made…
And I not so secretly don’t give a shit.
She mentions being grateful to God, and no venomous atheist rant? I conclude she must be an Obama supporter, or fish would’ve let loose with both barrels on that one.
So she didn’t die in afterbirth? That sucks. We lost so many great people, but we have this crack whore stinking up our planet. Irrelevant whore who made fun of a top-class director. It’s over!
Have you seen the after birth? It stinks!
http://www.google.com/search?q=afterbirth&hl=en&safe=off&prmd=imvns&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=PRF_UPaADNDpigL9i4DwDw&ved=0CAoQ_AUoAQ&biw=1280&bih=659
What I meant to say was that Megan didn’t die after giving birth.
Take a screen capture of this page, hi-light your comment, show it to your mom, and tell her you wrote it. Hopefully, she’ll bring you see your school’s child psychologist.
The psychologist is a pedo, not a good idea
I was replying to Jay, but if you feel you need help…
Newborn parents are so fucking annoying. Congratulations, now STFU. Your baby ain’t no different than anybody else’s.
Seriously? They waited months to say that she was pregnant; they put out a few photos, but hid her stomach in most other photos; they waited weeks to announce that she has given birth, and they announced it on Facebook to boot. Compared to celebrities and even some regular people they have practically been mute.
I’m with Zaloog. And FB is the worst. “Look- [pretentious derivative name] is taking a nap.” “Here he’s looking at mommy.” “Isn’t that the cutest pile of yellow feces you’ve ever seen?”
They haven’t done any of that so far. Way to be objective there, Ingles.
and noah is derivative of what?
Big props to them for giving the baby a normal, human name. It’s kind of sad that’s an accomplishment these days, but there you go.
The names that seem weird now, especially the celebrity ones, are actually run of the mill and almost traditional when you take a look at names in just the past 100 to 200 years. Actually, you don’t even have to go back that far.
yes, because Apple is completely normal.
Apple was a common name in ancient times – seriously. It may not be normal, but it has been around for a long time. There’s no harm in using names from long ago, just as there isn’t a problem using newer names. Besides, there are a million Jacks, Ashleys, Brittanys, Mikes, Adams and so on. What, really, is the harm in having a child named Apple, especially if the name suits the child? In most cases, none.
Megan is one hot momma!
Great. Now we get to read articles about her telling us what an amazingly cool mom she is.
hahhahahahaha
no one gave a shit, no one paid a million bucks for her baby photos.
or maybe, the baby was just too ugly, kind of like Demi and Bruce Willis’ daughters.
Or – stay with me here – they haven’t tried to sell any pictures, at least not yet.