I’m starting to understand Matthew McConaughey a whole lot more after finding about his mom Kay McConaughey’s book. Entilted “I Amaze Myself” the memoir contains anecdotes about Matthew’s conception and his father dying during sex. I wish I was making this up. Us Weekly reports:
“On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love,” Kay says exclusively in the latest issue of Us Weekly. “But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened. I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing,” she says. “But it was just the best way to go!”
And when her man couldn’t be revived, she made sure he was taken from the house in the buff.
“I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey — and his gift,” she says.
Awesome. So, Matthew McConaughey’s dad’s final moments were spent having Viagra-induced old people sex followed by EMTs staring at his naked cock. Oh yeah, sign me up for that. Here I was going to die young in a bank vault full of strippers and go-karts. Clearly, I have no idea how to live. I forgot the part where people look at my old dead nuts. So stupid….
josmo | August 27, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Uggh ….. Is she trying to say her son is hung? That’s kinda’ f’ed up.
Matt | March 11, 2011 at 9:39 pm
Naa, it’s not genetic. According to my mom, my dad is hung like a thimble, and I’m almost average!
Dancer | August 27, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Old people sex.
Ew. Ew. and ewwwww.
Becky_techie | August 27, 2008 at 1:34 pm
First…And that’s gross.
Jen | August 27, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Bwahahaha, funniest shit I’ve read in a long time :)
ps- I refuse to note that I’m FRIST
havoc | August 27, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Yeah, that’s pretty fucking insane…..
No wonder he turned out like he did.
.
syn | August 27, 2008 at 1:35 pm
What the… Why would… Oh, nevermind. Next.
Jimbo | August 27, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Old balls and all, that is the way I want to go out..
Sammy | August 27, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Nelson Rockefeller died the same way.
Coming and going at the same time.
May we all pass that way…
Condom Man | August 27, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Say “old man’s wiener” three times fast and tell me you don’t get aroused.
Ted Kennedy's tumor | August 27, 2008 at 1:39 pm
This is enough reason to take your kids out of California schools.
AB 2567 (Leno) Homosexual State Holiday
This legislation will declare May 22 Harvey Milk Day in California. A homosexual activist from San Francisco, Milk is revered by homosexual as a “civil rights” leader for their community. Homosexual activists intend to use Harvey Milk Day to force school children to celebrate his life and learn more about homosexuality.
whatever | August 27, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Well that explains a lot.
Barak Obama | August 27, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Ted, that is why I moved out of California. Freaking homos, liberals and illegals can have the place. Arnold turned out to be a closet liberal and a huge disapointment.
I wonder if Kay is looking for a new boyfriend? Any woman at her age who can still get it wet is OK by me!
puhleez | August 27, 2008 at 1:52 pm
She fucked him to death?!
Not That Guy | August 27, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Who is the smoking hot piece of ass in that photo?
No, not Matt’s mom, the other broad.
lydia | August 27, 2008 at 1:55 pm
you mean it turned out that the terminator isn’t an excellent politician? wtf
ugh | August 27, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Sweaty old people with gray hair and wrinkly skin rubbing up against each other. Did she take her dentures out when sucking his gift?
humpinfrog | August 27, 2008 at 2:05 pm
She went on to say, “and the guest were so impressed when Jim’s special gift held the tent up during his own wake, it was fun for the whole family”.
T-bag | August 27, 2008 at 2:07 pm
#14 – That would be Matthew’s baby’s momma. Camila Alves. Tasty isn’t she.
camilaishot | August 27, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I can’t think of a better way to go…except maybe while doing someone better looking!
Daniel | August 27, 2008 at 2:17 pm
That is fucking disgusting
THE REAL BARELY | August 27, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Was Jim buried with HIS favorite set of bongos? Enquiring minds want to know…
THE REAL BARELY | August 27, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Was his corpse able to teabag the EMT or am I being inappropriate…?
I’d teabag HER whilst the EMT played the bongos in the background…it’s quite sexy you know…
missywissy | August 27, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Harvey Milk day is wrong. So wrong. I would have to homeschool my child if I lived in California. I don’t have a problem with gays (why should I unless they were directly effecting me in some way), but forcing children to learn about homosexuality is completely wrong. It’s bad enough the public education system force sex education. It’s embarassing for the students to have to sit next to their classmates while issues like these are discussed. Private matters such as sex should be discussed at home. If my child wants to know what gay means, then that should be up to me to discuss it with her, not public education teachers. I’m sure some of them handle the topic beautifully, but they need to get all of this shit out of our schools and focus on abilities that will enable our children to get good jobs, to teach how to have healthy relationships with all people, and to be upstanding citizens.
harvey milk | August 27, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Your little boys will be drinking my milk soon
jenny | August 27, 2008 at 2:29 pm
No wonder he’s not sure whether he wants fish or sausage.
FRIST!!! | August 27, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Big deal, for decades the Catholic priests have been doing their own Harvey Milk Day celebrations at their boys schools. People who preach about “family values” are always arrogant hypocrites.
Ted Kennedy's tumor | August 27, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Whoa Frist. Who said anything about Catholics? Catholics can’t preach in public schools, so why should we make kindergarten kids learn about the “gay lifestyle”, what ever that means. If some dude wants to let another dude stick is cock up his ass, that is up to them. But it is not up to the public schools to tell my kids it is OK.
hahahah | August 27, 2008 at 2:49 pm
laughing my fucking ass off….coolest way to die ever. no better way to die then while in the midst of busting a nut…awesome
jim | August 27, 2008 at 2:58 pm
“But it is not up to the public schools to tell my kids it is OK.”
Sure it is, if a majority of taxpaying voters think so. Conservatives love to talk about freedom and democracy, but what they really want – so obvious here – is theocracy. So yeah, Frist is right, let’s let the religious leaders run the schools, but we have to pick one group – how about the Catholics? That should ensure that homosexuality is banished (well, except for after-school trips to Father Boyreamer’s office…).
Huh? | August 27, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Can someone please explain the connection between old man balls and homosexuality in California………………oh, nevermind.
Hammer | August 27, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Does anybody think that his mother looks a little like Cloris Leachman??
rough daddy | August 27, 2008 at 3:38 pm
you know something about old women? their love holes stay intact even if everything else get wrinkly and gray!!!
Sport | August 27, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Funny you people saying you are glad to not live in California. We are glad you dont live here too.
I cant stand the liberal pansies myself, and as long as the gays arent grabbing my ass who gives a shit? But choose bumfuck USA in the midwest somewhere over the California Coast? hahaha, obviously you havent been here.
Back to the beach, its 85° (again) – cya.
West Door | August 27, 2008 at 3:46 pm
@ #8 Quote: “Coming and going at the same time.”
Why don’t I think of lines like that? LOL
She amazes herself? This does explain a LOT.
Screwball | August 27, 2008 at 3:46 pm
I wonder if he had rigor mortis…
impish | August 27, 2008 at 4:15 pm
what the hell is up with that picture? what’s that gargoyle-guy doing there?
meee | August 27, 2008 at 4:24 pm
that’s seriously fucked up. that woman needs to be put away
THE REAL BARELY | August 27, 2008 at 4:35 pm
In honor of ol’ Jim I’d love to pass along my gift and titty pop that hot old gal… BUT: Only with the proviso that if I pass right in the middle of the act the broad must have the common decency to not expose my micro penis to assorted EMTs and neighbors.
Outraged though we may all be, you all got to admit that her material is FAR better than the crap being spouted by Britney’s mom in her bullshit book.
Buddy "The Truth" Love | August 27, 2008 at 4:45 pm
If I ever move to Cali it’ll be BECAUSE of the strong liberal presence there. You conservative homo-hating nazis make me sick.
Dave ain't here man | August 27, 2008 at 4:57 pm
@23 I’m also thinking of homoschooling my children.
NY Ted | August 27, 2008 at 5:03 pm
@28…Agreed…good way to go. But NOT fucking that old witch of a hag. One look at that face and the dead would even run & hide! If you have to go fucking…it better be on top of some 21 year old blue-eyed babe that models Victoria Secret….!!!
Gigidy…gigidy…gigidy….OHHHHH YEAH…!!!
antoine bugleboy | August 27, 2008 at 5:33 pm
why is there some unholy demon arm emerging from the brunettes stomach and giving the thumbs up to momma mcconaughey’s right tit??
JIMBO | August 27, 2008 at 5:55 pm
That’s the way I want to go, with some guy’s balls in my ass!!
#29 is a moron | August 27, 2008 at 5:59 pm
non-taxpayers also get to vote, you idiot. and freedom is about individual freedoms, not the freedom of the majority to impose their will on the minority.
leftwing morons | August 27, 2008 at 6:02 pm
you liberal homo-sucking nazis keep screwing your brothers but keep it to yourselves
wet newspaper | August 27, 2008 at 7:03 pm
LOL! Have a close look at her in that picture. Her partial denture has come away from the gumline! LOL!!
One would think Moneybags McConaughey could shout the old girl a few tooth implants, surely.
WildwolfWoman | August 27, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Right on !!!!
But I can’t help but wonder what kind of complex that would give ya. !) You think your the hottest shit to ever happen to mankind. 2) Fear of offing every guy you fuck……hhmmmmm…what a fucking mind trip…..
woodhorse | August 27, 2008 at 7:45 pm
@ FRIST: before Harvey Milk Day (the official and unofficial Catholic version) there was Valentines Day. Somewhere near the Vatican, a herd of goats take a collective sigh of relief.
And Mr. If-Thine-Eye-Be-Single’s Mom looks like Cloris Leachman.
BitingOnTinfoil | August 27, 2008 at 9:09 pm
That’s his *MOM*?? I thought it was Chloris Leachman!
Lola | August 27, 2008 at 10:22 pm
She looks like she’s got more charisma in her little finger than the whole of your average looking bimbo brigade.
Bet she fucks better too