Matthew McConaughey’s mom is goddamn insane

August 27th, 2008 // 70 Comments

I’m starting to understand Matthew McConaughey a whole lot more after finding about his mom Kay McConaughey’s book. Entilted “I Amaze Myself” the memoir contains anecdotes about Matthew’s conception and his father dying during sex. I wish I was making this up. Us Weekly reports:

“On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love,” Kay says exclusively in the latest issue of Us Weekly. “But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened. I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing,” she says. “But it was just the best way to go!”
And when her man couldn’t be revived, she made sure he was taken from the house in the buff.
“I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey — and his gift,” she says.

Awesome. So, Matthew McConaughey’s dad’s final moments were spent having Viagra-induced old people sex followed by EMTs staring at his naked cock. Oh yeah, sign me up for that. Here I was going to die young in a bank vault full of strippers and go-karts. Clearly, I have no idea how to live. I forgot the part where people look at my old dead nuts. So stupid….


  1. josmo

    Uggh ….. Is she trying to say her son is hung? That’s kinda’ f’ed up.

  2. Dancer

    Old people sex.

    Ew. Ew. and ewwwww.

  3. Becky_techie

    First…And that’s gross.

  4. Jen

    Bwahahaha, funniest shit I’ve read in a long time :)
    ps- I refuse to note that I’m FRIST

  5. havoc

    Yeah, that’s pretty fucking insane…..

    No wonder he turned out like he did.


  6. syn

    What the… Why would… Oh, nevermind. Next.

  7. Old balls and all, that is the way I want to go out..

  8. Sammy

    Nelson Rockefeller died the same way.

    Coming and going at the same time.

    May we all pass that way…

  9. Say “old man’s wiener” three times fast and tell me you don’t get aroused.

  10. Ted Kennedy's tumor

    This is enough reason to take your kids out of California schools.

    AB 2567 (Leno) Homosexual State Holiday

    This legislation will declare May 22 Harvey Milk Day in California. A homosexual activist from San Francisco, Milk is revered by homosexual as a “civil rights” leader for their community. Homosexual activists intend to use Harvey Milk Day to force school children to celebrate his life and learn more about homosexuality.

  11. whatever

    Well that explains a lot.

  12. Barak Obama

    Ted, that is why I moved out of California. Freaking homos, liberals and illegals can have the place. Arnold turned out to be a closet liberal and a huge disapointment.

    I wonder if Kay is looking for a new boyfriend? Any woman at her age who can still get it wet is OK by me!

  13. puhleez

    She fucked him to death?!

  14. Not That Guy

    Who is the smoking hot piece of ass in that photo?

    No, not Matt’s mom, the other broad.

  15. lydia

    you mean it turned out that the terminator isn’t an excellent politician? wtf

  16. ugh

    Sweaty old people with gray hair and wrinkly skin rubbing up against each other. Did she take her dentures out when sucking his gift?

  17. She went on to say, “and the guest were so impressed when Jim’s special gift held the tent up during his own wake, it was fun for the whole family”.

  18. T-bag

    #14 – That would be Matthew’s baby’s momma. Camila Alves. Tasty isn’t she.

  19. camilaishot

    I can’t think of a better way to go…except maybe while doing someone better looking!

  20. Daniel

    That is fucking disgusting


    Was Jim buried with HIS favorite set of bongos? Enquiring minds want to know…


    Was his corpse able to teabag the EMT or am I being inappropriate…?

    I’d teabag HER whilst the EMT played the bongos in the background…it’s quite sexy you know…

  23. missywissy

    Harvey Milk day is wrong. So wrong. I would have to homeschool my child if I lived in California. I don’t have a problem with gays (why should I unless they were directly effecting me in some way), but forcing children to learn about homosexuality is completely wrong. It’s bad enough the public education system force sex education. It’s embarassing for the students to have to sit next to their classmates while issues like these are discussed. Private matters such as sex should be discussed at home. If my child wants to know what gay means, then that should be up to me to discuss it with her, not public education teachers. I’m sure some of them handle the topic beautifully, but they need to get all of this shit out of our schools and focus on abilities that will enable our children to get good jobs, to teach how to have healthy relationships with all people, and to be upstanding citizens.

  24. harvey milk

    Your little boys will be drinking my milk soon

  25. jenny

    No wonder he’s not sure whether he wants fish or sausage.

  26. Big deal, for decades the Catholic priests have been doing their own Harvey Milk Day celebrations at their boys schools. People who preach about “family values” are always arrogant hypocrites.

  27. Ted Kennedy's tumor

    Whoa Frist. Who said anything about Catholics? Catholics can’t preach in public schools, so why should we make kindergarten kids learn about the “gay lifestyle”, what ever that means. If some dude wants to let another dude stick is cock up his ass, that is up to them. But it is not up to the public schools to tell my kids it is OK.

  28. hahahah

    laughing my fucking ass off….coolest way to die ever. no better way to die then while in the midst of busting a nut…awesome

  29. jim

    “But it is not up to the public schools to tell my kids it is OK.”

    Sure it is, if a majority of taxpaying voters think so. Conservatives love to talk about freedom and democracy, but what they really want – so obvious here – is theocracy. So yeah, Frist is right, let’s let the religious leaders run the schools, but we have to pick one group – how about the Catholics? That should ensure that homosexuality is banished (well, except for after-school trips to Father Boyreamer’s office…).

  30. Huh?

    Can someone please explain the connection between old man balls and homosexuality in California………………oh, nevermind.

  31. Hammer

    Does anybody think that his mother looks a little like Cloris Leachman??

  32. rough daddy

    you know something about old women? their love holes stay intact even if everything else get wrinkly and gray!!!

  33. Sport

    Funny you people saying you are glad to not live in California. We are glad you dont live here too.

    I cant stand the liberal pansies myself, and as long as the gays arent grabbing my ass who gives a shit? But choose bumfuck USA in the midwest somewhere over the California Coast? hahaha, obviously you havent been here.

    Back to the beach, its 85° (again) – cya.

  34. West Door

    @ #8 Quote: “Coming and going at the same time.”
    Why don’t I think of lines like that? LOL
    She amazes herself? This does explain a LOT.

  35. Screwball

    I wonder if he had rigor mortis…

  36. impish

    what the hell is up with that picture? what’s that gargoyle-guy doing there?

  37. meee

    that’s seriously fucked up. that woman needs to be put away


    In honor of ol’ Jim I’d love to pass along my gift and titty pop that hot old gal… BUT: Only with the proviso that if I pass right in the middle of the act the broad must have the common decency to not expose my micro penis to assorted EMTs and neighbors.

    Outraged though we may all be, you all got to admit that her material is FAR better than the crap being spouted by Britney’s mom in her bullshit book.

  39. Buddy "The Truth" Love

    If I ever move to Cali it’ll be BECAUSE of the strong liberal presence there. You conservative homo-hating nazis make me sick.

  40. Dave ain't here man

    @23 I’m also thinking of homoschooling my children.

  41. NY Ted

    @28…Agreed…good way to go. But NOT fucking that old witch of a hag. One look at that face and the dead would even run & hide! If you have to go fucking…it better be on top of some 21 year old blue-eyed babe that models Victoria Secret….!!!

    Gigidy…gigidy…gigidy….OHHHHH YEAH…!!!

  42. antoine bugleboy

    why is there some unholy demon arm emerging from the brunettes stomach and giving the thumbs up to momma mcconaughey’s right tit??

  43. JIMBO

    That’s the way I want to go, with some guy’s balls in my ass!!

  44. #29 is a moron

    non-taxpayers also get to vote, you idiot. and freedom is about individual freedoms, not the freedom of the majority to impose their will on the minority.

  45. leftwing morons

    you liberal homo-sucking nazis keep screwing your brothers but keep it to yourselves

  46. wet newspaper

    LOL! Have a close look at her in that picture. Her partial denture has come away from the gumline! LOL!!

    One would think Moneybags McConaughey could shout the old girl a few tooth implants, surely.

  47. WildwolfWoman

    Right on !!!!

    But I can’t help but wonder what kind of complex that would give ya. !) You think your the hottest shit to ever happen to mankind. 2) Fear of offing every guy you fuck……hhmmmmm…what a fucking mind trip…..

  48. woodhorse

    @ FRIST: before Harvey Milk Day (the official and unofficial Catholic version) there was Valentines Day. Somewhere near the Vatican, a herd of goats take a collective sigh of relief.

    And Mr. If-Thine-Eye-Be-Single’s Mom looks like Cloris Leachman.

  49. BitingOnTinfoil

    That’s his *MOM*?? I thought it was Chloris Leachman!

  50. Lola

    She looks like she’s got more charisma in her little finger than the whole of your average looking bimbo brigade.

    Bet she fucks better too

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