Matthew McConaughey thinks procreation is a sport now

June 22nd, 2009 // 33 Comments

Matthew McConaughey has knocked up his girlfriend Camila Alves again. He revealed the news in a Father’s Day message on his website:

Happy Father’s Day. It’s my first, and the last 11 months with Levi and Camila have been the most rewarding adventure to date. We have more blessed news to celebrate this Father’s Day that makes this time next year double the fun. Levi is going to be a big brother. Yeah, we pulled off the greatest miracle in the world one more time. Camila and I are expecting our second child, bringing more life into the world, making more to live for. The future looks bright as the family grows, and we thank you for all the well wishes you send our way.
Viva la evolucion, naturally, and in the mean times and all time, just keep livin, Matthew and Camila.

It’s comforting to know that in the future we’ll have plenty of strapping McConaughey children to aid the Pitt-Jolie clan in battle against the evil horde of Paris, Britney and Octomom spawn. Now I only half feel like shooting myself.

superficial

  1. AteIsEnough

    Way to be a role model, dick-head!!!! There are bastard children everywhere so thanks for adding to the un-wed parent total. What a douche.

  2. chupacbra

    Keep on L-I-V-I-N, brother.

  3. lp

    now THIS is a good post for the ladies. sexy men holding fat babies is totally my so and so in a bikini for the day mmm

  4. havoc

    “Just keep livin”

    Brilliant fucking advice…..

    To all my Superficial Friends….”just keep breathin”

    .

  5. #1 – Spoken like a douche from a broken home…

  6. AteIsEnough

    @5 – RichPort’sGas – No way asshole. Youngest of eight children, member of a strong family. Married with three children myself… It’s douches like you and McConaughey that shouldn’t reproduce. You’re probably a meat-tube sucker, aren’t you? You might be forgiven in the end…

  7. #6 – Eight children? Get the fuck outta here! What are you, like 60? I didn’t think people did that shit anymore… I mean I know back when the family farm needed to be tilled and sowed,,, what do your grandkids think about this?

  8. @6 And it’s families like yours who shouldn’t over populate with 8 children whom each probably have at least 3 kids of their own.

    Thanks jerk.

  9. Max Planck

    Bimbos and bastards.

  10. doppler

    @1 I hope they have 8 bastard children and one of them marries one of your sorry ass kids and then disowns you for being suck a dick head for not teaching them the wonders of fucking with no legal commitments…Keep it “coming” Matthew and Camila!!!

  11. AteIsEnough

    Eat me all of you. I’m no where near 60 (but that was funny) and I plan on having another child as soon as possible. I proudly have have 26 nieces and nephews…all of them have married, supportive parents. None are on welfare, and none need couseling because their parents can’t just walk when they get tired of fucking and playing house. Why is the world so fucked up?…kids fucked up?…humanity fucked up? Here’s a hint…read some of your own posts. Ha, ignorance is bliss isn’t it people (some of you obviously know)?

  12. #11 – Viva Viagra? I mean, 26 nieces and nephews? Unreal. What do they each get for Christmas..? A handshake? Face it, you’re unmarried, lonely, and sick and tried of drawing lipsticks lips on your wank hand. No need to thank me… admitting is always the first step to solving a problem.

  13. Heroiny

    Why do celebs think that they are the only one’s smart and pretty enough to pull of this miracle of reproduction? Jesus Herbert Christ, get the fuck over yourself.

  14. AteIsEnough

    OK #11 – I have to admit, although you’re WAY off base…that was funny! Even I can appreciate something funny!! ha-ha-ha! BTW – I make roughly $126k a year as a NW Tech, and own rental properties . My “family” collectively owns three businesses…and my parents (who had eight kids), are well off and loving retirement! I also don’t buy them all Christmas presents dumbass, but I do spend enough on them, as do their own parents, on gifts and fun each year. I budget $5k for the holiday season every year…and you??

    My children enjoy many finer things in life too – one thing being a stable married couple as their parents. What is that you have to say that’s significant or important…oh yeah – NOTHING!

  15. fukyouidiot

    We all better start reproducing soon. We are already outnumbered by the radical muslim population. Studies show that in less than 20 years that they will out number by almost 60%. That will mean our way of life will be over and they will win by default.

  16. fukyouidiot

    We all better start reproducing soon. We are already outnumbered by the radical muslim population. Studies show that in less than 20 years that they will out number by almost 60%. That will mean our way of life will be over and they will win by default.

  17. #14 – Actually, I spend my time quoting bogus stats about my personal wealth to online strangers constantly, detailing the intimate details of my life as often as possible. Do you know some chick named Amy?

    My kid will enjoy having your children work for him.

  18. AteIsEnough

    @17…You probably do have a “kid”…goat-fucker. I’m done – thanks for playing.

  19. Steve's old liver

    @15/16 absolutely! Burquas get hot for the womens. # 5/7/12/17 = ha, owned! don’t be a turd.

  20. Cletus

    THANKS, MATTHEW! I was all set to give up until I read your inspiring message to just keep livin- I totally threw away all the Drain-O and hypodermic needles and I even turned my oven off.

    You saved my life, dude.

  21. #18 – Goat-fucker? That’s cold, man… should I changed my named to RichPort’s Goat? Naaah… that would be baaaaaaaaad… spoken like a true farmer… get back to your fantasy world now and next time bring some funny with you…

  22. Gregor

    Man, I hope this time he names the little bastard after his brother, Rooster.

  23. fukyouidiot

    # 17 classic with the children line!! I LOL!!!!

  24. That kid looks slightly “re tah ded” for lack of a better word. Poor little dude. Why is he not shirtless? Daddy is. *shocker of all shockers*
    The Rake
    http://thefilmnest.com

  25. nastyjay

    ehhh

  26. Darth

    Congrats to them! Lol that’s what good girlfriends or wives get as a reward!

  27. Gando

    Is he living next to the beach? I haven’t seen him anywhere else before.

  28. bastardus grull

    Congratulations, muthafuckaz. You’ve done something humans have been doing for millions of years. Good on you. Try to bump the next kid up to mildly attractive this time. That kid has a face that only science could explain. I know it’s not his fault, and he only has those two twats flanking him to blame.

  29. mandeer

    Lets evaluate the situation…
    1. She is probably illegal ( oh shit, there I said it)
    2. He gets to leave the little the kid at home while he is in some paradise partying with lots of half naked girls getting drunk off his ass and having unprotected sex…
    3. You know she probably went off birth control so she can get more money out of him each kid they pop out.. caching$$$$$$
    4. He has no intentions on marriage…. she is his little latino sugar mama..
    and for the grand
    and for # 5. He probably gets at least 5 father day cards a year.. but too lazy or drunk to get his blood tested..
    life as a celebrity

  30. RaraAvis

    If he respected the mother of his children he would marry her. Of course, if she respected herself – and her children – she would have married before she had children. Kids don’t know much, but they learn the difference between married parents and unmarried parents pretty quickly.

    All the rest is blah blah.

  31. RaraAvis

    If he respected the mother of his children he would marry her. Of course, if she respected herself – and her children – she would have married before she had children. Kids don’t know much, but they learn the difference between married parents and unmarried parents pretty quickly.

    All the rest is blah blah.

  32. ………………….AMERICA STILL NEED PUNISHMENTS, folks?

  33. Venom

    This chick is a pimp.
    She stayed awake in her Gold Digging 101 classes.
    Now she will have not one but two little bags of money.
    Not bad.

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