Matthew McConaughey reproduced

January 16th, 2008 // 89 Comments

Matthew McConaughey and his girlfriend Brazilian model Camila Alves are expecting a baby. Tarzan announced the pregnancy on his website:

Got some blessed news. A celebration of life and bounty. Yes, my girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together. It’s 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far. We are stoked and wowed by this miracle of creation and this gift from God, and so excited for the adventure that will come in raising this child, being mother and a father, and shepherding him or her through this life. From moms and dads, to family, to community, it takes the best will and support from everyone to raise the healthiest children we have in society. Wish us the best, keep us in your prayers, and God bless evolution. Thanks for bein fans of me and my work and now this new and miraculous chapter in my life, as me and Camila and our child do our best to just keep livin. Wow, McConaughey.

After he finished writing, Mattew McConaughey ripped his shirt off and stabbed a wild boar with a boogie board. For such are the ways of his people.

Photos: Splash News
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  1. Conscience Found

    @42 Ted
    Are you busy?

  2. renee

    you are goddamn funny

  3. Sauron

    What’s this,another teenage-pregnancy?Unprotected skate boarding looks cool but it’s not very professional and realistic.Nice try for an amateur.

  4. CakeGirl

    He is TASTY.

    I do want to know what’s pulling him too, though.

  5. The Regulator

    I don’t get the fascination with this guy. It’s fucking weird that he’s always outdoors, like a caveman. And now he knocked up another equally unintelligent “Brazilian supermodel”. Great. Can’t wait to find out what they’re going to name the child.

    No Brad Renfro news?? Now he was a million times hotter than this neanderthal.

  6. DaddyzGirl

    LOVE the final comment FISH!!! Thanks for sending me off to work with a great laugh :-)

  7. rinn

    Nooooo :(

  8. rinn

    Nooooo :(

  9. Donkey Punch

    “Gift from God”?? Someone teach this hillbilly about the birds and the bees. You stuck your pee-pee in her hoo-hoo you dumb shit. God had nothing to do with it.

  10. Ted from LA

    #59,
    I appreciate you giving sex advice to this dumb fuck. However, judging from his writing, you may need to dumb this information down even more, medically speaking of course.

  11. PunkA

    I am willing to bet he names this kid after that little turtle in “Finding Nemo”. Welcome to the world Crush, dude.

  12. Ted from LA

    He’ll name his kid Toro or Thor or Lance or Winter or some other name that will cause the kid to get the shit beat out of him on a daily basis at school.

  13. magickal

    “Living…..L-I-V-I-N”.

    That’s good shit right there. It’s like Dazed and Confused II: the Stoner Reproduces”

  14. woodhorse

    If I didn’t have to work for a living I would go out and play all the time too. Look at him, he had to take several sports with him at once because he couldn’t make up his mind.

  15. GLC

    I think I now understand the inspiration for the character Hansel in Zoolander.

  16. MoronicShitney

    “After he finished writing, Mattew McConaughey ripped his shirt off and stabbed a wild boar with a boogie board. For such are the ways of his people.”
    That was quite funny Fish.

  17. leelee

    “Yes, my girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together. It’s 3 months growin in her womb [. . .]” ew, probably one of the grossest ways to say, “We’re pregnant!” He might as well have added, “in 6 months Camila will eject my little tyke from her perfectly formed vaginal canal”

  18. Lulz

    “God bless evolution”, eh?

  19. Missystar

    There’s a fine line between folksy and dipshitty, and he just crossed it with that moronic post. As did President Bush. Repeatedly.

  20. Teryn

    now thats a man…

  21. Teryn

    now thats a man…

  22. ferlo

    He looks kind of like a greek statue, except for the short arms, he’s purrdy.

  23. Zuppa

    Thanks for “he ripped off his shirt and stabbed a wild boar with his boogie board”. I didn’t pee or anything but…

  24. Zuppa

    Thanks for “he ripped off his shirt and stabbed a wild boar with his boogie board”. I didn’t pee or anything but…

  25. Mmmm

    I heard he killed a woman with his B.O.

  26. a doe

    if you ask me he should always go shirtless b/c then he won’t need to talk as much, b/c after reading that I realized his abs are the only thing going for him…but damn those are some nice washboards

  27. dumbasslonghorn

    His kid will probably be another dumbass texass longhorn fan who can barely count to one, much like Vince Young.

  28. Leon

    Remember when people got married first, and then had children? Was there anything wrong with that?

  29. cookie monsta

    mmmm Matt you hot sweaty sex god…. proof that hot guys ought to shut the hell up so we don’t lose respect (cravings??) for them….

    but that last pic, not so hot, the rest of them, that’s battin’ practice for girls….

  30. kily200

    I am Sue. A hot white girl with perfect sexy stature.
    I’m seeking for a good man, especial who love sports.
    all can view my hot photos at http://multiraciallove.com by searching “peggysue”. No matter who you are and where you come from…

  31. Jade

    Enough about all these people, who is the Editor who writes the captions? He is so hilarious I log on daily just to read his little jibes at celebs

    ED..WHO EVER YOU BE..YOU BE ROCKING

  32. gigi

    go Matty! that’s going to be one GORGEOUS baby….. too many genes to count! and it’s so hot that he loves ‘the melanin’… lol

  33. LET’S MEET THE KID WHO WANTS TO STAY A PLAYING KID FOREVER.
    BUT THE FUNNY PART OF IT IS THIS:
    HE’S GOING TO, ha, ha, BE, ha, ha, hi, hi, A, hoooo,ha, ha, hi, DAD, whoaaaa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!

    GETOUTAHERE!!

  34. CougarTexas

    FUCK… I want that man. I mean seriously nibble on every piece of his body. He’s HOTTER than hot. Damn it. Okay, I’ll be okay.

  35. CougarTexas

    FUCK… I want that man. I mean seriously nibble on every piece of his body. He’s HOTTER than hot. Damn it. Okay, I’ll be okay.

  36. Lora In Michigan

    Matt and Camila,
    I am very happy for you! Your life will never be the same. As you described the gift of bringing and raising the miracle in our physical word, remember, develop the spiritual intelligence of your child as well as the other intelligences. And may this spiritualization grow to some of your readers.
    I became a big fan of yours after watching, “We Are The Titans”. Wow!
    What a story!!!!
    Camila, you are beautiful! Will keep you in our prayers. Enjoy and have a fun 6 more months.
    Injoy and hugs,
    Lora

  37. Hillary

    Sorry but his girlfriend is sooo ugly. I don’t have a clue what she models. She wears the best clothes but still looks like crap.

  38. FH

    Mathew is a womanizer. I am sure he is still bedding other women. He just found someone that will tolerate his infidelty. I feel sorry for his girlfriend she is not that attractive and he is around some of most gorgeous women. This will not last.

  39. Gloria

    MM girlfriend is not attractive at all. Maybe by her countries standards she is pretty but I don’t think in the US she would be considered attractive at all. She has a nice body but who doesn’t in their 20′s. Her nose is too wide and her lips too big. I think the Bralizian models are way over rated.

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