Matthew McConaughey reproduced

January 16th, 2008 // 89 Comments

Matthew McConaughey and his girlfriend Brazilian model Camila Alves are expecting a baby. Tarzan announced the pregnancy on his website:

Got some blessed news. A celebration of life and bounty. Yes, my girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together. It’s 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far. We are stoked and wowed by this miracle of creation and this gift from God, and so excited for the adventure that will come in raising this child, being mother and a father, and shepherding him or her through this life. From moms and dads, to family, to community, it takes the best will and support from everyone to raise the healthiest children we have in society. Wish us the best, keep us in your prayers, and God bless evolution. Thanks for bein fans of me and my work and now this new and miraculous chapter in my life, as me and Camila and our child do our best to just keep livin. Wow, McConaughey.

After he finished writing, Mattew McConaughey ripped his shirt off and stabbed a wild boar with a boogie board. For such are the ways of his people.

Photos: Splash News
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  1. Conscience Found

    im not gay but i would wipe up his sweat with freanch bread and eat it.

  2. Puritan Assmilk

    I know he’s an idiot, but his website announcement reads like he flunked out of middle school: “It’s 3 months growin’ in her womb”. Gosh, he sure did get learned good.

    Damned rich idiots with their brazilian supermodel wives, hair plugs, 4th grade grammar, and ugly-ass swimming trunks!

  3. Conscience Found

    frist, sinners

  4. Josh

    Isn’t that how Gallagher broke his arm?

  5. LL

    He’s a doofus, but I heartily approve of him reproducing. Better him than Donald Trump or Britney.

  6. Well, who cares about that idiot man. http://Femmate.com becomes the most favorite online lesbian dating service recently. You can join free to post your Ads and enjoy more!!

  7. Yes, Conscience Found? I’m listening…..or were you trying to ask me how to spell French, because that is not it..

  8. theboss

    uh god bless evolution. that seems a little weird.

  9. What the hell is pulling him?
    And you know hes gonna be a creepy ass father.
    Anna Nicole style.
    But instead of starving his kid, hes gonna have him doing push ups before he can walk.

  10. JM

    Isn’t this the guy from “A Time to Kill”? Man, his career has really taken off. I mean seriously, it doesn’t get any better than that dragon movie he was in. What was that called again? I think there was one more too. “How to Fertilize a Future Bastard Egg in 10 Days”? Not sure if that is right, but it sounds decent.

  11. Missystar

    Doesn’t this asshole own a shirt?

  12. mrs.t

    #11-he buys lots of shirts, but keeps losing the instructions.

  13. Josh Simpson

    If I looked like him I wouldn’t wear a shirt either.

  14. doomhammer

    Great, another crack baby. Just what hollyweed needs.

  15. No post about Brad Renfro’s death? Is he too C-list for the site? Because we really need another Britney post…really.

  16. D. Richards (Hands.)

    I am so happy for Matthew, and Lance.

    I’m just positive they’re going to be the best parents in the whole wide world!

    Note: Lance is the catcher.

  17. gotmilk?

    well, i guess she’s not going to be a model anymore, not that anyone even knows her now.

    this kid is going to be a bigger hippie than Kate Hudson’s kid.

  18. afuckment

    Where is a good sized, wheel stopping pebble when you need one? Jeez.

  19. Bryan

    You had an opportunity to post pictures of a Brazilian Model and yet you chose to post picture of MM?

    What the hell is wrong with you?

  20. p0nk

    “A celebration of life and bounty… excited for the adventure that will come in raising … and shepherding him or her through this life”

    so he’s fathering a sheep? sheepf0cker!

  21. alan

    I love that he blesses evolution, probably in the hope that his child will have evolved to a higher mental level than he has.

  22. Shallow Val

    “Tarzan”….that was so funny I almost spewed. I used to have the only crush on him years ago, but now it’s merely an appreciation of his hot body. His mind….not so much.

    And boy is that a nice body. Juicer? Maybe…..

    (thinking of “Tarzan” and chuckling at the funny FISH)

  23. havoc

    WTF?!?!?

    “life and bounty”
    “growin in her womb”
    “We are stoked and wowed”

    Does he really talk like that?

  24. jrz

    Re: The photo……….Niiiiiiiiiice…..thanks Fish!

  25. Shallow Val

    Brad Renfro Died???? Finally od’d huh? What happened?

  26. Marc

    This guy is a fucking IDIOT!

    all he does all day long is working out and sports. no fucking brain stimulation.

  27. Gerald_Tarrant

    I’ve met him a few times. I’m not sure how the kid will turn out.

    Kid: Dad, what are drugs?
    Matt: Take off your clothes, pull up you bongo jr set, and take a puff on this.

  28. Shallow Val

    He’s like a new-age Paul Newman. Watch Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and Cool Hand Luke and then get back to me…..(mmmmmm, Paul Newman)

  29. gertie

    tarzan the HUNK

  30. Snarf

    “Like whoa dude, I’m like totally going to have a little bambino!”

    I guess all that smoking did nothing to his sperm count.

  31. michael

    God bless evolution? I’m not sure God belives in evolution. I can bless it though, but not for this dipshit. “Growin in her womb”? You holding a class there, Tarzan?

  32. #21 – p0nk, he’s a brazilianf0cker too, which mean he now has f0cking AIDS.

  33. Thats his baby’s momma pulling him. Thats how he keeps her in shape. “I want that baby to come out running!

    http://theunsoberlife.com

  34. alan

    #23- I’d bet a wad of cash he isn’t a juicer. That’s pretty much the poster for a natural body through hardcore workouts.

    Generally, you can be ripped and small or strong but carrying fat (see the World’s Strongest Man competitions). Big and strong, but still veiny and ripped, indicates juicing.

  35. Puritan Assmilk

    it seems english is a second language for both parents…

    thank goodness…hollywood will need another brainless twit that looks good in a swimsuit 20 years from now

  36. Gits

    I would have thought that if you pull your shit-covered cock out of a guy’s ass and then stick it in a girl’s pussy, you have some type of barrier to reproduction. I mean, he’s bi (at best), right?

  37. Celebrities Never Grow Up

    Another celebrity with a Peter Pan syndrome. This guy is so immature and uneducated, so it’s no wonder that his slut, pregnant girlfriend won’t marry him.

  38. Shallow Val

    35 – Ah, now I know what to look for and stay away from. Thanks for the knowledge. I’m glad he’s not a juicer. He is tall after all.

    NOW, if could only give him Stephen Hawkings brain (hmmmmm)……

    38 – OUCH….but funny.

  39. Shallow Val

    I just looked up her picture and she’s pretty in a natural, unobtrusive way and best of all, she’s dark……(cool).

  40. Ted from LA

    How old is this dumb fucker? He writes like an 8th grader. “Me and Camila”. My 2nd grader doesn’t say shit like this anymore. Congratulations Matt. I is very happy for you. Speaking of evolution, your kid will be lucky if he learns to shit indoor.

  41. Ted from LA

    #1,
    I have some news for you. You are gay. Embrace it.

  42. skittles

    i love him with all of my heart.

  43. BustyRaquel

    YIKES!!!!!
    He’s gorgeous!!!!!

  44. lalaland

    now these are the pictures i like to see!

  45. LDY ESQ

    He is fuckin’ hott! Lucky bitch!

  46. gossip

    You have heard Alessandria Ambrosia is also pregnant right?

  47. Ela

    OMFG Jesus Fucking Christ No way in hell .. Can someone look that hot??? I always believed those abs were photoshopped.

  48. Ript1&0

    Matthew McConahay…. yes, very much so. Yummy. A little too crunchy hippie for me, but yeah. Go out and play with your boyfriends, Matt. Get all sweaty. I’ll be here when you get back to give you a sponge bath.

  49. Concience Found

    He writes like he reads the bible. That’s why it sounds strange to the heathens here.

    Also, hes been hitting the bong.

    Oh yeah I agree, God is not down with evolution.

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