Matthew McConaughey isn’t letting no baby stop his drinking

June 18th, 2008 // 67 Comments

Matthew McConaughey may have a Tarzan baby gestating inside model Camila Alves, but that doesn’t mean he can’t get trashed in Nicaraqua and pick up chicks. He must’ve got that parenting book I sent him: “The Zen of Drinking your Way to Debilitating Child-Support Payments.” Star reports:

“He was acting like an out-of-control 18-year-old,” claims an eyewitness who was at the bar. “He already seemed to be drunk when he arrived alone, and he only got worse from there on. He was putting the make on every woman in his path, throwing his arms around them and trying to kiss them, and trying to dirty-dance with a few out on the floor. But he was a mess, slurring his words and stumbling around.
“A few minutes after he finally left the bar, someone found him searching through a sewage ditch outside. When they asked him what he was doing, he mumbled, ‘I’ve lost my flip-flops!’”

You know who should really be responsible for a kid? People who lose their shoes in a sewer ditch. That’s a winning combination right there. But seriously, I’m sending Matt “Daddy & Baby Velcro shirts” as a shower gift. That way he can carry two drinks at the bar, and it’ll be like he never even fathered a child. Now that’s practical.

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. mmhmm

    he is still yummy!

  2. Malffy Hernandes

    first much?

  3. ph7

    Hot, young chicks only, please.

    I don’t see big tits or a vag anywhere in this picture.

  4. wet newspaper

    He’s hot. I’d definitely have a roll in the newspaper with that.

  5. havoc

    I agree.

    No poon…….no point.

    .

  6. mimi

    FISH -GUTZ SUKS!

    GO BRITNEY!

  7. Dar

    What a moron! Everybody knows you don’t drink when you’re preggo!

    Did he light up a fat one too?

  8. I see he’s been visiting Barry Bonds’ trainer…

  9. mmhmm

    bud light apparently does the body good :)

  10. OC Dee

    Thank you very much!

    Please post more hot men!

    Matthew McConaughey is hot and sexy and he can dirty dance with me or try to kiss me anytime!

  11. Flaps

    “You know who should really be responsible a kid?”

    what is this sentence?

  12. nipolian

    “But he was a mess, slurring his words and stumbling around.”……….Just a typical Monday morning for me.

  13. Cheese and Rice

    Come on people…..this is the same guy that likes to get stoned and play bongos naked….should we be shocked? So he gets drunk and loses his flip flops in a sewage ditch….who hasn’t been there?? I mean really??

  14. Roger Moore

    @2

    No?

  15. Auntie Kryst

    “Allright allright allright..”

    Thinking about Wooderson digging through a Nicaraguan sewage ditch makes me laugh.

  16. Tabitha

    Any hot sexy man that plays the bongos in the nude and smokes pot is alright with me! He can smoke pot and get the munchies and eat double chocolate chip cookies in my bed anytime!

  17. havoc

    He was playing bongos naked while another guy danced naked.

    Chances are ole Matt got his tonsils polished………

    .

  18. tonsils polished?

    heh heh heh…

  19. Deacon Jones

    That description by Star sounds like me throughout my entire college career. Maybe I DO like this guy..

  20. HeidiHo

    Wow. I didn’t realize he was such a poser.
    The guy is buff, but those muscles are strictly “superficial”.
    He probably primped (pumped-up) just before going outside for pictures.

  21. wet newspaper

    @ 19 – Who cares! You’d still mangulate his mongoose and grapple his tackle. Don’t even try to deny it.

  22. havoc

    WTF is “mangulate”?

    LMAO……

    .

  23. veggi

    @21. Yeah, I always thought this guy was too full of himself…. but drunken flip flop sewage searching?? Maybe I’m in love..

  24. p0nk

    @7 is that you, Sam Lutfi?

  25. wet newspaper

    24…. It’s sort of like mangle, but more severe. Mangulate.

  26. Halle's Berry

    doesn’t this asshole ever wear a shirt?

    does he go topless to weddings and funerals as well?

  27. Want More!

    #28

    He should always walk around shirtless! He is so sexy!

  28. Chupacabra

    Mathew McConaughey Mad! Matthew McConaughey Smash!

    Remember that one, folks?

  29. marina

    This body is for make love, no for have a kid…

  30. Do_FreeBird

    Nothing sexier than a Dirty, wet haired comb over. I predict he’ll be able to play a young Capt. Picard by the time he’s 38.

    Three words of advice Mr. Sewer Ditch…. Rogain with Minoxidal.

  31. TOOL

    MMMM… Bud Light

  32. chris

    Am I the only one who noticed that NicaraGua is spelled wrong lol.

  33. Forrest Fordutreese

    #34 Dios Mios! Eres correcto.

  34. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her

    I wonder if I should retire this screen name?

    I wonder if it was even funny when the scandal was news?

  35. Chupacabra

    No one has said anything about this line:
    “He was putting the make on every woman in his path,…”

    What the HELL is “putting the make on”

    I love that he lost the flips in a ditch. Classy.

  36. Chupacabra

    I kinda like “Elliot_Spitz_On_Her” it’s great. keep the hope alive, man.

  37. agree

    He is my favorite. Just saw his p’ersonals ID on millionairespersonals s’ite “”"”"W e a l t h y R o m a n c e. co m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site.

    ???????????????????????

  38. Conscience_Found

    #38
    Yeah, you are right and I’m pissed I didnt catch that. ‘On the make’ is the phrase search was fishing for (sic). ‘Putting the make on’ I don’t think I have heard before.

    On the make
    On the take
    On the lamb
    On the wagon
    On the juice
    On the gefiltafish

  39. POINTING AT SOMEBODY IS FORBIDDEN, you moron!!

  40. PunkA

    I hope these photos weren’t the ones taken before he lost it in the ditch, because if they were, well, he ain’t wearing no stinking flip flops. Sounds like another Brit tabloid BS story to me, especially the phrases. Pretty lame, really.

  41. Samantha

    32

    So what if he is going bald. He can always shave his head like all the guys do now and still look hot. With all the fat American men; it is nice to see a hot and toned body.

  42. rikki

    Total comb over!

    @ 44 He could totally shave his head and still look hot! It’s just a shame that he opts for a dirty, wet haired comb over.

    He’s lame!

  43. rikki

    Total comb over!

    @ 44 He could totally shave his head and still look hot! It’s just a shame that he opts for a dirty, wet haired comb over.

    He’s lame!

  44. Surfer Babe

    #46

    He is at the beach. When one goes body surfing, one gets sand in their hair. You must not go to the beach a lot. He is a fine looking man!

  45. Trish

    You guys are all jealous because you are fat!

    Matthew is so cute and so sexy and so hot and I love looking at his tight hard body!

  46. Drunkman

    He pretty much lives the life I dream of and strive for: Get wasted 24/7 and bang models.

  47. Ugg

    49

    And he makes the big bucks for pretending he is someone else. I hate that lucky bastard!

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