Matthew McConaughey became the father of a baby boy last night after his girlfriend model Camila Alves gave birth. At the time of this post, no name was given yet for Tarzan Jr. who weighed in at 7 lb., 4 oz. but a statement was given to OK! Magazine by Matthew himself:
“A healthy baby boy was born,” Matthew tells OK! in an exclusive statement. “Camila and I were side by side the entire time. We are both tired and elated, and are so happy to have created the greatest miracle in the world — Having a child and making a family. Now comes the greatest adventure — raising one, together.”
He then added: “Also I totally downed a bunch of shrooms earlier, so this whole thing has tripped my shit. There was a baby coming out of a solar system that made me think I should buy a moped. But that’s neither here nor there, broseph, because me and this tiny bald dude are going surfing then downing brewskis! HYEAAAAAAAH! GET SOME!” That child will dominate the world – at beer pong.
Congrats to Camila, Matt, and Future Naked Bongo Player.
pointandlaugh | July 8, 2008 at 9:08 am
woooo first!!!
britney's weave | July 8, 2008 at 9:18 am
name, please.
p-rock | July 8, 2008 at 9:22 am
Fish, that little imaginary monologue made my morning.
ph7 | July 8, 2008 at 9:26 am
Hate to be a party pooper, but let’s agree in advance:
Matthew will probably be the worst dad ever.
Sell Porn Make Money | July 8, 2008 at 9:28 am
ok… enough of them. Get back to chicks in bikinis please.
McConaughey's Bongos | July 8, 2008 at 9:57 am
I heard the baby was born with a six pack and receding hairline.
Pussy Galore | July 8, 2008 at 10:22 am
Fish,
You are absolutely hilarious!!!
Love,
P.G. the gaping maw
Sportsdvl | July 8, 2008 at 11:06 am
News flash – first picture ever taken of McConaughey with his shirt on. Finally! Thank you paparrazi!
Oh, #1 – you are a douche. We are all “pointing and laughing” at you.
#5 – that was classic!
celebs love me | July 8, 2008 at 12:39 pm
No pictures of Nicole Kidman and her baby?
Angry Beaver | July 8, 2008 at 3:47 pm
This kid will be genetically perfect and a total pussy-hound. Five bucks says he nails one of the delivery room nurses before he leaves the hospital with his parents.
Dr | July 8, 2008 at 4:25 pm
King LeDouche has himself a prince.
JKL Douche Roddington. JKL.
britney's weave | July 8, 2008 at 5:03 pm
fyi, the kid’s name is levi. somewhat normal. i was expecting beach, lake, stream, or granola or something.
Ted from LA | July 8, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Levi is now considered somewhat normal? I can see naming a pair of pants that, but a kid? As it stands, his dad sounds like he dropped out of school in the 6th grade. Go back to school Matty.
toolboy | July 9, 2008 at 8:29 am
The little he man’s full name is Levi Zulu Tango Niner McConaughey. It came to Matt while he was smoking the spice of life on a plane. He always liked the word niner, just couldn’t find a way to work it into daily conversations..
z | July 9, 2008 at 4:41 pm
What’s so miraculous about a man squirting his penis in a vagina and the woman having a baby?
jeb223 | July 10, 2008 at 7:53 am
She looks like someone took Kim Kardashian and reversed her pelvis.
Front-butt!
overheardatyale | July 10, 2008 at 8:02 am
She looks like someone took Kim Kardashian and reversed her pelvis.
Front-butt!
normal human | December 18, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Wats wrong wit u ppl….get a life……..go out there n do something good….save the world from the horrifying terrorist attack or something….its not healthy to bitch bout some1 like tis…..wat goes around comes back around….